…that we’ve reached the point in the road where it looks like IVF may be our only option. Not only can we not afford the IVF, but we can’t totally afford monthly payments for the next “x” months while we pay off an IVF round, as we’re still paying off the two failed IUIs.
…that the thought of IVF [B]completely [/B]terrifies me, to the point I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to think about it, I don’t want to talk about it to anyone, including my husband. I try to be positive, but he’s the realist. It might not work. We might spend $10,000+ (goodbye dream kitchen) and only come out of it with disappointment and no baby (and more weight gain, sigh).
…that the fear of telling my family that we have to do IVF won’t result in the response I so selfishly want (from our parents, “we’ll help you cover the cost as much as we can”), and will instead result in some form of judgement or disappointment. Not in understanding, but in question after question to the point of driving me crazy rather than feeling that we’re being supported in our decision.
…that I want them to understand the selfish desire to try to have a biological comes first before adoption for us. And that they need to believe me when I tell them the costs are about the same. I’m not ready to give up yet on making our own baby…but I’m exhausted at the same time.
…that I’ve known for nearly the last year that more than likely this is what the result would be. That it would come down to “IVF or no baby”. But now that that is what the story is, I don’t want to think about it for fear I will completely lose it. I asked myself last year if I’d be okay with IVF, and I am, but I’m not ready for it.