I'm so confused, sad, frustrated & need help


#1

Hi everyone,

A brief history, since Feb we have had 3 IUI’s and 2 IVF cycles with 2 blastocell embryos transfered fresh each time. The first IVF, I was chemically pregnant which I understand means they implanted but then stopped growing. This last IVF cycle, I literally was on almost bed rest for 2 weeks as it was over the holidays, was off of work, and just stayed home enjoying Christmas movies and relaxing. And this last IVF cycle did not work. Nothing. So i’m at a loss and struggling with a great deal of guilt.

I feel like if I wouldn’t have eatten this thing, it would have worked. Or if I wouldn’t have reached for that thing, it would have worked. But I know none of this is true.

On paper, we have no reason why we shouldn’t get pregnant naturally and we have 3 frozen embryos. So before starting the next round, I am hoping you can help me with finding some answers.

  1. does anyone know of a specialist in the DC/VA/MD area?
  2. I am trying acupuncture. Any one have any other tips on things they have done and it has helped conceive?
  3. how do you move forward when you have no answers and no explanation of why this is happening?
  4. I am trying to cut out all artificial sweetener, caffeine, moderate work out and do yoga and eat only whole foods that are organic.

But will any of this make a difference? I keep going back to people who are on drugs get pregnant so having a cup of coffee shouldn’t make that much of a difference but I am desperate to try anything.

I am just so frustrated and feel like I am at a total loss and don’t know what to do next. Please help.

Thank you so much for any and all information and advice.


#2

First I want to say that I am so so sorry. I had one failed cycle and one successful one, so I kind of know how you feel. We had really bad embryos and I was 26 with perfect test results. No answers. Dr said there are literally a million things that need to go right for it to work. Then we tried it again with a different protocol and had a perfect cycle (see sig). The first ivf I ate healthy, didn’t move, stayed on bed rest for 3 days etc… Then i slacked on the second ivf because I just didnt have faith and I did only 1 day of bed rest, didn’t eat or drink anything special, had a few pepsis, etc… And I got pregnant. So to answer your questions…it’s a dang crapshoot. Even when you get a ‘reason’ or are ‘unexplained’ things can still happen that weren’t scientifically supposed to. My RE said if it’s a good embryo, it’ll do what it has to do.

I have read about immune issues that can cause perfect embryos to not implant. Try going to ivfauthority.com and read up on it. Also, google SIRM west and you can see a forum with dr answers. You can even sign up and ask this specific question and get an answer from Dr. Sher (main dr). You have to sign up and get an email. But I’ve used this a lot.

What about ugh testing of your embryos? I read 60% of blastocysts that look good can still be incompetent, so ugh could help pick the best ones maybe?

All in all, please know it’s NOTHING you did or didn’t do. You didn’t stretch the wrong way, you didn’t eat the wrong thing, I promise. After my m/c I struggled with what I did wrong, but have learned when pregnancies don’t work out, it’s because the embryo wasn’t right, nothing we could control.

I know this doesn’t ease the pain or give answers. I hope other girls can help, too.


#3

CGH testing* I mean…dang autocorrect!


#4

I can’t really help you with your questions, but as you can see from my signature, I’ve had two successful cycle and two unsuccessful. Both failures hurt a lot. Both times the embryos transferred were of excellent quality. There’s no reason why it didn’t work…

You just have to keep faith in statistics (at least that’s how I think about this). Depending on your clinic there is about 30-40% chance of pregnancy (check the SART website), so it makes sense that it won’t work every time. But the more times you try the higher the chances… I wish you the best of luck in everything you decide to do!


#5

I’m so sorry you are going through this. Infertility sucks!! It is such an emotional rollercoaster, but if you keep at it, you can have a baby. We went through 6 total cycles before finally having our little miracle. Four fresh IVF cycles and 2 frozen FET cycles.

Along the way we suffered through three miscarriages. If we can go on to have a healthy baby so can you! I have a lot of info about IVF on my blog if you would like to check it out.

Please don’t blame yourself. Getting healthy for your cycle is great, but a cup of coffee, etc will not change the outcome of your cycle. Try to let yourself off the hook and realize that no matter what you did this cycle would have turned out the same way. Good luck to you in the future.


#6

CareyPoppins -

I so can relate to how you are feeling…

i just found out its another BFN for me just yesterday on my 3rd IUI,see the rest of my signature… i will be doing a 3rd IVF and i am hoping for the best. I feel so devastated. Constantly questioning what is wrong with me, what is wrong… why hasnt it worked… for me i do suffer from endo, so it becomes trying at times. sometimes i do lose hope, because of all the disappointments of receiving negatives… i feel as if a black cloud is over me… why am i being punished. trying to ask why me, as if u are all alone in this world suffering… its tough.

i also change my diet, stopped working out so hard, started taking supplements, and going to acupuncture thinking it will all help and still nothing… im not going to lose hope, i will try not to… but we are going through the same and i hope for the best for us.

i am also in the same area. i have been going to shady grove in va… i wonder too if i need to change facilities, but i hear it is one of the best here in the area… i guess i need to believe and continue to remain prayeful and hopeful, and so do you… i

my acupuncturist in in va … i see dr. Eugene Zhang… he is pretty good. i started going to him when i started IUIs, but i will go a few more times because it is relaxing…

all the best carey… ur not alone…


#7

I am also unexplained. After 12 years of trying and cutting out all the caffeine and alcohol and artificial sweeteners, etc., we finally had success with our first IVF. But we still don’t know why that worked when nothing before had.

I am in the DC/MD area. What type of specialist are you looking for? I went to Shady Grove Fertility and found them to be excellent (I may be a little biased, though :smiley: )

Don’t give up hope. As previous posters have said, there is nothing you did or didn’t do for your previous results. The right embryo is out there, just waiting to be created just for you!

Good luck!!


#8

CareyPoppins, I am so sorry for everything you are going through but as all the other posters mentioned, you can’t beat yourself up over this, it really isn’t anything that you did or didn’t do, I have many stories (including my own) of following diets, cutting out or adding things and none of them seem related to success or failure.

In specific response to some of your questions, here are my measly thoughts:

  1. I am trying acupuncture. Any one have any other tips on things they have done and it has helped conceive?

You’ll see a lot of mixed results about acupuncture, for me personally, I felt it made a difference, if only in that it helped me stay relaxed and feel like I was actively doing something to help in the process. It is important I think to choose an experienced fertility acupuncturists and also one that you can relate to and that understands you. I loved mine because while they truly sat down with you and took your history and symptoms and offered you a series of dietary suggestions and health activities/herbal supplements, they also really emphasized that at no point should following all these guidelines make me incredibly stressed out or miserable…and it makes sense to me that if you are not happy while doing the whole IVF process, it IS very feasible it will influence your overall health and success chances. I’m very pessimistic but doing acupuncture and meeting with my very friendly and supportive acupuncturists really helped keep me a lot calmer. I also tried to be prepared for all the weirdness with the meds and such associated with IVF and I think that attitude helped make them easier to bear. So, I guess I would recommend acupuncture IF you can find someone that is comforting and a good “fit” for you. IF you go to acupuncture gritting your teeth or dreading seeing the person or the cost, then don’t put yourself through it. If cost is a factor, find out what clinics are willing to do the most “critical” sessions only (before and after transfer), some won’t and some will.

  1. how do you move forward when you have no answers and no explanation of why this is happening?

Golly, I wish I knew, I knew what my problems were but I know two couples right now who had babies naturally and now are suffering from secondary infertility and plowing through ART and adoption processes. You might search in your area for therapists or groups that deal with fertility issues, I saw a therapist on my first IVF pregnancy, primarily because of losing a twin in first trimester, but she did counseling for couples dealing with infertility and I found her really helpful. On the other hand, I didn’t really find it comforting to go to a group setting and I even avoided message boards (except to spy) because I was so superstitious and strange…I wish I would have joined in some discussions though, aspects of the whole process probably would have been easier having wonderful folks like the women here to chat with.

  1. I am trying to cut out all artificial sweetener, caffeine, moderate work out and do yoga and eat only whole foods that are organic.

Limit what you can to not make yourself totally miserable. If it is a huge struggle to give up caffeine and you can’t switch to decaf (cold processed) or green tea options (“good” caffeine), then allow yourself a moderate amount. My first IVF cycle when I was producing eggs, my clinic was super strict on the no alcohol/caffeine-not even chocolate!/sweetners, etc. But on the FET, you may find that it isn’t as critical. I drank caffeine and was way more relaxed on my FET (for one thing, the whole process is easier and less meds, yay!), I know I even had some sips of wine and definitely ate chocolate…and I got pregnant…so the first time, I was super strict and pregnant and the second time, not so strict and pregnant…go figure! I would say that artificial sweetners are definitely probably good to avoid, but maybe that is just because I don’t like them myself!!! :^)

Just make sure that when you start on your next stage, whether FET or a new IVF, that you and your partner are in a good place (with exception of worrying about the infertility because we all know it is hard to shake that) in every other way possible. Do what feels most right for you in terms of your health and lifestyle choices during process, we all know that we are going to avoid the biggest dangers during the procedures so giving into temptation like a latte or chocolate bar or soda aren’t going to “do it in”. I emphasize staying relaxed and filling your soul with laughter as much as possible because I have friends that were so stressed out trying to get pregnant or got so freaked and uncomfortable with meds that they were miserable during process and didn’t succeed in getting pregnant. There have been some studies that show that clinics that had comedians or clowns perform had higher success rates, very preliminary studies and tentative, but I do believe “laughter is the best medicine”. I made sure to watch all my favorite funny movies and tried to avoid anything that would make me cry or remind me of the fact that I didn’t have family. I knew I was going to not be completely relaxed and optimistic, it goes against my nature, so I focused on just finding some things that could temporarily direct my attention away from that, and for me that was laughter and mindless entertainment :^)

But in all reality, despite all the amazing things medical technology can do to assist us, there are a lot of things that are just up to chance. I know a woman who ONLY did IVF because she didn’t want to use her own eggs because of potential for manic depression. I didn’t really understand that but to each their own. She and her husband had NO other reason for doing IVF …and yet it took THREE IVFS with THREE different donor eggs before they finally conceived their twins. But it did happen, as others pointed out, sometimes it takes a bit longer and the road is rougher and may lead in directions you didn’t expect (I ache when I read some of the stories here).

I hope some others can give you guidance on clinics and acupuncturists in area (I’m in TX so can’t help you there)! But I wish you well in whatever you decide and it sounds like you have some really good chances ahead of you with 3 Frozen Embies! I know there are a lot of stories about women who had no success with IVF but were successful with FET. Sometimes I think some women react too strongly to the IVF meds and perhaps that impacts things, but that is a totally unscientific and unsubstantiated claim, just a guess! FET is so much easier and has become so much successful than in the past thanks to techniques and technology! Best of luck to you and your partner!


#9

essemkay - which RE did u see

[quote=essemkay]I am also unexplained. After 12 years of trying and cutting out all the caffeine and alcohol and artificial sweeteners, etc., we finally had success with our first IVF. But we still don’t know why that worked when nothing before had.

I am in the DC/MD area. What type of specialist are you looking for? I went to Shady Grove Fertility and found them to be excellent (I may be a little biased, though :smiley: )

Don’t give up hope. As previous posters have said, there is nothing you did or didn’t do for your previous results. The right embryo is out there, just waiting to be created just for you!

Good luck!![/quote]


#10

My doctor is Dr. Mottla (based in Annapolis), but I’ve had many procedures with lots of different doctors over the years. To name a few, Dr. Levy, Dr. Kipersztok, Dr. McKeeby, Dr. O’Brien, Dr. Levens and Dr. Nair.


#11

I’m so sorry. I know how hard the failed cycles are. I had 7 iuis, 1 fet, and 3 IVF before finally getting :bfp:. Each one was heart wrenching and I’m still holding my breath on this one.

I live in MD and went to SGF. My Dr. is Dr. Sagoskin and I really like him.

This last cycle I started acupuncture and took royal jelly. They also just figured out I have a blood disorder called MTHFR. It can cause implantation failure. Have you been checked for any possible blood disorders. The fix is simple. You start taking lovenox with your treatment and have to continue throught the pregnancy.

I wish you the best of luck. I know its hard. Don’t give up. Hope you get a :bfp:in 2012.


#12

[quote=missjay]CareyPoppins -

I so can relate to how you are feeling…

i just found out its another BFN for me just yesterday on my 3rd IUI,see the rest of my signature… i will be doing a 3rd IVF and i am hoping for the best. I feel so devastated. Constantly questioning what is wrong with me, what is wrong… why hasnt it worked… for me i do suffer from endo, so it becomes trying at times. sometimes i do lose hope, because of all the disappointments of receiving negatives… i feel as if a black cloud is over me… why am i being punished. trying to ask why me, as if u are all alone in this world suffering… its tough.

i also change my diet, stopped working out so hard, started taking supplements, and going to acupuncture thinking it will all help and still nothing… im not going to lose hope, i will try not to… but we are going through the same and i hope for the best for us.

i am also in the same area. i have been going to shady grove in va… i wonder too if i need to change facilities, but i hear it is one of the best here in the area… i guess i need to believe and continue to remain prayeful and hopeful, and so do you… i

my acupuncturist in in va … i see dr. Eugene Zhang… he is pretty good. i started going to him when i started IUIs, but i will go a few more times because it is relaxing…

all the best carey… ur not alone…[/quote]

Thank you for your message. I am so sorry that you are going through this as well and that you received the sad news yesterday. Everything you wrote is exactly how I feel. I have been able to keep my spirits up through everything since February but this time, it just seems impossible. We are going through Columbia Fertility. You never know if you picked the right place. I picked them b/c I met someone with a beautiful baby and is pregnant again through IVF. She is two for two. Thank you again for the message and being able to articulate what I am going through. I’m so sorry for you sad news.


#13

[quote=essemkay]I am also unexplained. After 12 years of trying and cutting out all the caffeine and alcohol and artificial sweeteners, etc., we finally had success with our first IVF. But we still don’t know why that worked when nothing before had.

I am in the DC/MD area. What type of specialist are you looking for? I went to Shady Grove Fertility and found them to be excellent (I may be a little biased, though :smiley: )

Don’t give up hope. As previous posters have said, there is nothing you did or didn’t do for your previous results. The right embryo is out there, just waiting to be created just for you!

Good luck!![/quote]
I’m so glad it worked for you! I’m at Columbia. I have been told that Shady Grove, Columbia, Dominion are “big box” fertility clinics so they use the method that works the best for most people but when it really comes down to finding out why and what is happening or in my case, what is not happening, you are sometimes on your own. So I was looking for someone who could answer what is wrong and why this isn’t working. I really love my doctor and do trust him. Its just so hard when you don’t know why this is happening.


#14

[quote=G&PMom]CareyPoppins, I am so sorry for everything you are going through but as all the other posters mentioned, you can’t beat yourself up over this, it really isn’t anything that you did or didn’t do, I have many stories (including my own) of following diets, cutting out or adding things and none of them seem related to success or failure.

In specific response to some of your questions, here are my measly thoughts:

  1. I am trying acupuncture. Any one have any other tips on things they have done and it has helped conceive?

You’ll see a lot of mixed results about acupuncture, for me personally, I felt it made a difference, if only in that it helped me stay relaxed and feel like I was actively doing something to help in the process. It is important I think to choose an experienced fertility acupuncturists and also one that you can relate to and that understands you. I loved mine because while they truly sat down with you and took your history and symptoms and offered you a series of dietary suggestions and health activities/herbal supplements, they also really emphasized that at no point should following all these guidelines make me incredibly stressed out or miserable…and it makes sense to me that if you are not happy while doing the whole IVF process, it IS very feasible it will influence your overall health and success chances. I’m very pessimistic but doing acupuncture and meeting with my very friendly and supportive acupuncturists really helped keep me a lot calmer. I also tried to be prepared for all the weirdness with the meds and such associated with IVF and I think that attitude helped make them easier to bear. So, I guess I would recommend acupuncture IF you can find someone that is comforting and a good “fit” for you. IF you go to acupuncture gritting your teeth or dreading seeing the person or the cost, then don’t put yourself through it. If cost is a factor, find out what clinics are willing to do the most “critical” sessions only (before and after transfer), some won’t and some will.

  1. how do you move forward when you have no answers and no explanation of why this is happening?

Golly, I wish I knew, I knew what my problems were but I know two couples right now who had babies naturally and now are suffering from secondary infertility and plowing through ART and adoption processes. You might search in your area for therapists or groups that deal with fertility issues, I saw a therapist on my first IVF pregnancy, primarily because of losing a twin in first trimester, but she did counseling for couples dealing with infertility and I found her really helpful. On the other hand, I didn’t really find it comforting to go to a group setting and I even avoided message boards (except to spy) because I was so superstitious and strange…I wish I would have joined in some discussions though, aspects of the whole process probably would have been easier having wonderful folks like the women here to chat with.

  1. I am trying to cut out all artificial sweetener, caffeine, moderate work out and do yoga and eat only whole foods that are organic.

Limit what you can to not make yourself totally miserable. If it is a huge struggle to give up caffeine and you can’t switch to decaf (cold processed) or green tea options (“good” caffeine), then allow yourself a moderate amount. My first IVF cycle when I was producing eggs, my clinic was super strict on the no alcohol/caffeine-not even chocolate!/sweetners, etc. But on the FET, you may find that it isn’t as critical. I drank caffeine and was way more relaxed on my FET (for one thing, the whole process is easier and less meds, yay!), I know I even had some sips of wine and definitely ate chocolate…and I got pregnant…so the first time, I was super strict and pregnant and the second time, not so strict and pregnant…go figure! I would say that artificial sweetners are definitely probably good to avoid, but maybe that is just because I don’t like them myself!!! :^)

Just make sure that when you start on your next stage, whether FET or a new IVF, that you and your partner are in a good place (with exception of worrying about the infertility because we all know it is hard to shake that) in every other way possible. Do what feels most right for you in terms of your health and lifestyle choices during process, we all know that we are going to avoid the biggest dangers during the procedures so giving into temptation like a latte or chocolate bar or soda aren’t going to “do it in”. I emphasize staying relaxed and filling your soul with laughter as much as possible because I have friends that were so stressed out trying to get pregnant or got so freaked and uncomfortable with meds that they were miserable during process and didn’t succeed in getting pregnant. There have been some studies that show that clinics that had comedians or clowns perform had higher success rates, very preliminary studies and tentative, but I do believe “laughter is the best medicine”. I made sure to watch all my favorite funny movies and tried to avoid anything that would make me cry or remind me of the fact that I didn’t have family. I knew I was going to not be completely relaxed and optimistic, it goes against my nature, so I focused on just finding some things that could temporarily direct my attention away from that, and for me that was laughter and mindless entertainment :^)

But in all reality, despite all the amazing things medical technology can do to assist us, there are a lot of things that are just up to chance. I know a woman who ONLY did IVF because she didn’t want to use her own eggs because of potential for manic depression. I didn’t really understand that but to each their own. She and her husband had NO other reason for doing IVF …and yet it took THREE IVFS with THREE different donor eggs before they finally conceived their twins. But it did happen, as others pointed out, sometimes it takes a bit longer and the road is rougher and may lead in directions you didn’t expect (I ache when I read some of the stories here).

I hope some others can give you guidance on clinics and acupuncturists in area (I’m in TX so can’t help you there)! But I wish you well in whatever you decide and it sounds like you have some really good chances ahead of you with 3 Frozen Embies! I know there are a lot of stories about women who had no success with IVF but were successful with FET. Sometimes I think some women react too strongly to the IVF meds and perhaps that impacts things, but that is a totally unscientific and unsubstantiated claim, just a guess! FET is so much easier and has become so much successful than in the past thanks to techniques and technology! Best of luck to you and your partner![/quote]

Thank you so much for all the information. I am looking forward to doing the acupuncture. I’m hopeful that they will be able to help me and if nothing else, help me relax. I also have a spa day planned in a week so that I can try and relax - again, nothing I have ever done for myself. I think over all its not a bad thing to cut out excess caffeine and artificial sweeteners and over processed foods. So i’m okay with switching that up. I have to stop being so hard on myself but I have no one else to blame so I blame myself. I know its just poison in my system and isn’t going to do anyone any good, but I can’t seem to help myself. I’m just so sad. We aren’t going to do anything until at least March so I have some time to feel better emotionally and physically. Thank you again for the wonderful post.


#15

[quote=buckeyegirl918]First I want to say that I am so so sorry. I had one failed cycle and one successful one, so I kind of know how you feel. We had really bad embryos and I was 26 with perfect test results. No answers. Dr said there are literally a million things that need to go right for it to work. Then we tried it again with a different protocol and had a perfect cycle (see sig). The first ivf I ate healthy, didn’t move, stayed on bed rest for 3 days etc… Then i slacked on the second ivf because I just didnt have faith and I did only 1 day of bed rest, didn’t eat or drink anything special, had a few pepsis, etc… And I got pregnant. So to answer your questions…it’s a dang crapshoot. Even when you get a ‘reason’ or are ‘unexplained’ things can still happen that weren’t scientifically supposed to. My RE said if it’s a good embryo, it’ll do what it has to do.

I have read about immune issues that can cause perfect embryos to not implant. Try going to ivfauthority.com and read up on it. Also, google SIRM west and you can see a forum with dr answers. You can even sign up and ask this specific question and get an answer from Dr. Sher (main dr). You have to sign up and get an email. But I’ve used this a lot.

What about ugh testing of your embryos? I read 60% of blastocysts that look good can still be incompetent, so ugh could help pick the best ones maybe?

All in all, please know it’s NOTHING you did or didn’t do. You didn’t stretch the wrong way, you didn’t eat the wrong thing, I promise. After my m/c I struggled with what I did wrong, but have learned when pregnancies don’t work out, it’s because the embryo wasn’t right, nothing we could control.

I know this doesn’t ease the pain or give answers. I hope other girls can help, too.[/quote]

Thank you so much! I will look into that testing. We have been told our embryos are all very strong and healthy. But I want to get to bottom of why this is happening so I am going to ask my doctor about the testing.


#16

Spa days rock! I think we all need them, whether or not we are trying to conceive/are pregnant/or already have kids. Life is always crazy no matter what you are doing in this day and age (well, heck, maybe even thousands of years ago when you had to make sure the sabertooth tigers didn’t get you and find your food the old fashioned way!)…but thank goodness for the “invention” of spas :^)


#17

[quote=CareyPoppins]Hi everyone,

A brief history, since Feb we have had 3 IUI’s and 2 IVF cycles with 2 blastocell embryos transfered fresh each time. The first IVF, I was chemically pregnant which I understand means they implanted but then stopped growing. This last IVF cycle, I literally was on almost bed rest for 2 weeks as it was over the holidays, was off of work, and just stayed home enjoying Christmas movies and relaxing. And this last IVF cycle did not work. Nothing. So i’m at a loss and struggling with a great deal of guilt.

I feel like if I wouldn’t have eatten this thing, it would have worked. Or if I wouldn’t have reached for that thing, it would have worked. But I know none of this is true.

On paper, we have no reason why we shouldn’t get pregnant naturally and we have 3 frozen embryos. So before starting the next round, I am hoping you can help me with finding some answers.

  1. does anyone know of a specialist in the DC/VA/MD area?
  2. I am trying acupuncture. Any one have any other tips on things they have done and it has helped conceive?
  3. how do you move forward when you have no answers and no explanation of why this is happening?
  4. I am trying to cut out all artificial sweetener, caffeine, moderate work out and do yoga and eat only whole foods that are organic.

But will any of this make a difference? I keep going back to people who are on drugs get pregnant so having a cup of coffee shouldn’t make that much of a difference but I am desperate to try anything.

I am just so frustrated and feel like I am at a total loss and don’t know what to do next. Please help.

Thank you so much for any and all information and advice.[/quote]I’m kind of in a similar place with you right now. I’ve had four embryo transfers with embryos from donor eggs, miscarried two of them and one resulted in chemical pregnancy. So right now we’re doing a lot of blood work to try and find a cause for my recurrent losses. I found a pretty good blog post that outlines a lot of the tests you should get when looking for possible causes. The Survival Guide to Recurrent Pregnancy Loss and Testing | Whitney & Erick

I’m so with you in thinking, did I eat the wrong thing? Did I move the wrong way? Did I [I]breathe [/I]wrong? I think it’s too easy and not unusual at all for us to want to reach for the things we can control when we go over in our minds what must have gone wrong. Because we can’t do anything about those things we can’t control. It’s hard, I have to remind myself all the time that 99% of this is totally out of my hands.


#18

[quote=SassyMollassy]I’m kind of in a similar place with you right now. I’ve had four embryo transfers with embryos from donor eggs, miscarried two of them and one resulted in chemical pregnancy. So right now we’re doing a lot of blood work to try and find a cause for my recurrent losses. I found a pretty good blog post that outlines a lot of the tests you should get when looking for possible causes. The Survival Guide to Recurrent Pregnancy Loss and Testing | Whitney & Erick

I’m so with you in thinking, did I eat the wrong thing? Did I move the wrong way? Did I [I]breathe [/I]wrong? I think it’s too easy and not unusual at all for us to want to reach for the things we can control when we go over in our minds what must have gone wrong. Because we can’t do anything about those things we can’t control. It’s hard, I have to remind myself all the time that 99% of this is totally out of my hands.[/quote]
I am so sorry you are going through this. It is so hard. Thank you for the link to the blog. I will definitely check it out. I’m anxious to start testing although I do not look forward to the process. But I am anxious to get some answers. Its weird, I don’t want anything to be wrong, but having something wrong will be answers and then maybe can be fixed. I don’t know…its at least something. I know in my head that it wasn’t anything I did, but in my heart, i’m beating myself up. Hang in there and I hope that 2012 will being you your :bfp:.


#19

I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. I don’t really have any advise but hopefully you can get hope from my experience. I had 2 failed iui’s, 1 failed ivf, 2 early m/c wit FET and IVF. So this was try # 6 for me. I did genetic, clotting, immune, and chrom testing and had two hysteroscopy’s. They never found anything wrong. I chose to have a small septum removed before I started but they said it wouldn’t be causing infertility and when they rechecked I had the perfect uterus. My body responded perfectly to all the meds, had what looked like good quality embryos. My uterine lining was always great. All of my embryos made it to blast.
So basically they could find nothing wrong, I never got any answers and went through the hardest 2 years of my life. So just this past week I found out I am pregnant with twins and saw their little heartbeats. That was a first for me so I am very hopeful after 6 tries we finally have success. I know it sucks but some of us just have to wait longer than others. I hope you get your happy ending soon.


#20

[quote=Kinnejoc]I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. I don’t really have any advise but hopefully you can get hope from my experience. I had 2 failed iui’s, 1 failed ivf, 2 early m/c wit FET and IVF. So this was try # 6 for me. I did genetic, clotting, immune, and chrom testing and had two hysteroscopy’s. They never found anything wrong. I chose to have a small septum removed before I started but they said it wouldn’t be causing infertility and when they rechecked I had the perfect uterus. My body responded perfectly to all the meds, had what looked like good quality embryos. My uterine lining was always great. All of my embryos made it to blast.
So basically they could find nothing wrong, I never got any answers and went through the hardest 2 years of my life. So just this past week I found out I am pregnant with twins and saw their little heartbeats. That was a first for me so I am very hopeful after 6 tries we finally have success. I know it sucks but some of us just have to wait longer than others. I hope you get your happy ending soon.[/quote]

Congratulations on your wonderful news. It is inspiring. I pray that I will be able to post something similar to this soon. Thank you for sharing!