In need of moral support


#1

Hello everyone!

My husband has been posting on this forum for a little while and now I’ve decided to jump in as well!

So far we have had four unsuccessful IUI cycles with donor sperm. Our first cycle was natural but the others have been medicated. We are going to try another medicated IUI cycle. I am trying to stay positive but it is difficult. I hold back my hopes so that if it fails, I won’t be let down so much. I know that being positive helps but how do you all balance that with trying not to get hurt when you get a BFN? Any support/help/advice would be appreciated!


#2

I know what you mean about holding back excitement to keep yourself from getting hurt. I think we all do that. I can only wish you luck & tell you I’ve seen plenty of woman on here who have success on IUI 5, 6, or 7. Don’t lose hope, but try to focus on other positive things in your life (like your supportive husband) and I hope this time around is your lucky cycle :slight_smile: :grouphug: :cross:


#3

The truth is, it’s not easy when you are going through it. I personally found that reading up on successful IUI’s of others, getting informed about the timing, asking your RE and/or Doctor about certain medications, procedures, etc. to get his or her opinion as to whether it is right or wrong for you is a good idea. This in short is what I did. Ultimately, I found doing back to back IUI’s really worked for me and within 5 cycles we got a successful pregnancy.

I feel like if I’m actively involved in my medical care then it feels as if I’m being more hands on.


#4

I wish I had the trick for everyone on the 2ww. I know my last 2ww was the easiest one I’d had (IUI #4). I think it’s because I assumed it wasn’t going to work. I mean, I hoped, but I assumed it wouldn’t and was ready to get the negative and move on again. That and I was on break from work (school) for a week of it, so I was more relaxed. I noticed the difference in my anxiety level, though.

Of course, once I got the BFP, alllll that anxiety came back as I hoped so hard it would stick.
(I’m at 7 weeks, 5 days today, so far so sticky! Ultrasound #2 tomorrow).

But things I did: I added meditation, and lots of walking. In other words, I did things that are healthy for my mind and body that also might serve as distractions.

Oh, and I still got pretty anxious right at the end of the wait. Some of you may remember how antsy I was the day of my beta, when I’d had a negative the night before but hadn’t quite given up hope…

Plan things to distract you. Do stuff that’s healthy and helps produce happy feelings. And keep the faith that there’s a path from here to motherhood.

Best of luck!


#5

Thank you for your responses!

sweet_pea: Thank you so much for the encouragement! It’s good to know that there are women who have had successful IUI’s on the 5, 6, 7th tries.

Gambler: I have been pretty passive in my treatments and just going along with what the RE and nurse have told me. I am going to try to get more actively involved in my treatment. After all, it’s my body! I think this is great advice.

Poenym: I know I get stressed out easily so distractions are definitely good. I have recently started meditating so I hope that is helpful! I will have to add walks on my list of things to do as well.


#6

[quote=SktlsFamTwo]Thank you for your responses!

sweet_pea: Thank you so much for the encouragement! It’s good to know that there are women who have had successful IUI’s on the 5, 6, 7th tries.

Gambler: I have been pretty passive in my treatments and just going along with what the RE and nurse have told me. I am going to try to get more actively involved in my treatment. After all, it’s my body! I think this is great advice.

Poenym: I know I get stressed out easily so distractions are definitely good. I have recently started meditating so I hope that is helpful! I will have to add walks on my list of things to do as well.[/quote]

Yup mine was try number 5. I also thought it wasnt going to work so didnt even bother to POAS until day of beta and that was just so I could get the bad news and deal withit before work… when I saw that double line I just about freaked out. Since then it has been a rollar coaster of ups and downs. DONT give up. One thing I did do different is day 5-6 after IUI ( days implanting should be taking place) I gave myself mandatory bed rest. The reason was… if for IVF they make you do bedrest to help with implantation I figured it couldnt hurt. Dont know if it made a difference or not, but this is the only cycle that worked.


#7

Lisse: Thank you for the encouragement! I hadn’t heard of bedrest but it may be something to try. I do have to work on those days but maybe I can take it easy? Thanks again.


#8

[QUOTE=SktlsFamTwo]Lisse: Thank you for the encouragement! I hadn’t heard of bedrest but it may be something to try. I do have to work on those days but maybe I can take it easy? Thanks again.[/QUOTE]

I think anything is worth trying, and as Gambler said, listening and trusting your own body is important, too.

Good luck!


#9

OlderMomNewTricks: Thank you! It’s comforting to know that I’m not alone!


#10

I also want to say, if it wouldn’t be a major issue, you may need to swich donors. We got preggo with donor #1 but m/c on iui round #3. We tried one more round with him and then switched donors. I got pregnant on the first try with the new donor from a new sperm bank. Our donor was $600+ a vial and we bought 6 vials. Moved on to a donor that was $200/vial, bought 2 vials for back to back iuis and bam success.

Try to see if you can find success stories from your current donor. Does your sperm bank have any reported pregnancies? Do a google search of his donor number. This can be really helpful. Ask your RE or doctor what the counts are. Does your SB offer a count min. gaurantee? All these things matter when using donor sperm.


#11

[quote=Gambler]I also want to say, if it wouldn’t be a major issue, you may need to swich donors. We got preggo with donor #1 but m/c on iui round #3. We tried one more round with him and then switched donors. I got pregnant on the first try with the new donor from a new sperm bank. Our donor was $600+ a vial and we bought 6 vials. Moved on to a donor that was $200/vial, bought 2 vials for back to back iuis and bam success.

Try to see if you can find success stories from your current donor. Does your sperm bank have any reported pregnancies? Do a google search of his donor number. This can be really helpful. Ask your RE or doctor what the counts are. Does your SB offer a count min. gaurantee? All these things matter when using donor sperm.[/quote]

Gambler - May I ask what bank you used?


#12

We used California Cyrobank first then switched ti Midwest Sperm Bank.


#13

We ordered 3 vials from CC - did our 2nd IUI May 25, so coming up on the end of our 2ww. Not feeling positive at all about them. And I’m thinking about switching banks, so thanks for letting me know where you went!


#14

To update on my wife’s post - started cycle for 6th IUI a couple days ago. First try with injectibles so we are keeping our fingers crossed she doesn’t make too many follicles. She always responded to clomid, but we figured we should try something else.

Switched donors and banks for this one! Of course, this is our third bank and fourth donor so we aren’t sure the donor was the issue. But, hoping that injectibles is the magic variable.