Infertile for about 6 yrs now


#1

Hi Everyone! I’m new to this sight but not new to the issue at hand. I’ve been infertile for about 6 yrs now. At least thats when I found out. I still fight it everyday. I tried everything and after 4 surgerys I was given the diagnosis from my OBGYN that I cannot have any children and that I’m in early stages of menapause. I’m 37. At the time though I was 31, so I was devestated. Still am. Though not having a period is not so bad :clap: I Feel as though I’m half a woman as well as half a wife and more angry that my “choice” was taken away from me. I know I should be more compationate but can’t. I don’t want to adopt, due to having a now 17yr old step-son and that alone was a trying relationship to get after 11 yrs with my husband, I just recently was able to obtain. But still not my own and very hard, left out of some decisions because of it and feel alot I can’t say things because of it. I do have a 4 yr old chocolate lab, named GIA :paw: and I thank god for her. She’s my daughter and without her I could of NEVER made it this far. It’s a struggle daily and no matter what I get annoyed with kids now, pregnant woman and have pulled myself emotionally away from my nephew (blood), and other niecies & nephews (inlaws). My husband and I fight over sex now and I hate it. The scar tissue alone makes it very painful and i’ve tried lotions, medicine everything no good. So sometimes I just give up.

PHEEWWWW ! Thank you for letting me vent everyone. I’ve been holding this for a long time.


#2

This is the place to vent! Sorry I can’t offer any words of advice…but we are listening : )


#3

[quote=GiaMommy07]Hi Everyone! I’m new to this sight but not new to the issue at hand. I’ve been infertile for about 6 yrs now. At least thats when I found out. I still fight it everyday. I tried everything and after 4 surgerys I was given the diagnosis from my OBGYN that I cannot have any children and that I’m in early stages of menapause. I’m 37. At the time though I was 31, so I was devestated. Still am. Though not having a period is not so bad :clap: I Feel as though I’m half a woman as well as half a wife and more angry that my “choice” was taken away from me. I know I should be more compationate but can’t. I don’t want to adopt, due to having a now 17yr old step-son and that alone was a trying relationship to get after 11 yrs with my husband, I just recently was able to obtain. But still not my own and very hard, left out of some decisions because of it and feel alot I can’t say things because of it. I do have a 4 yr old chocolate lab, named GIA :paw: and I thank god for her. She’s my daughter and without her I could of NEVER made it this far. It’s a struggle daily and no matter what I get annoyed with kids now, pregnant woman and have pulled myself emotionally away from my nephew (blood), and other niecies & nephews (inlaws). My husband and I fight over sex now and I hate it. The scar tissue alone makes it very painful and i’ve tried lotions, medicine everything no good. So sometimes I just give up.

PHEEWWWW ! Thank you for letting me vent everyone. I’ve been holding this for a long time.[/quote]

I don’t have any advice either, but I agree that you are venting in the right place. I’m 34 with normal labs, so it’s been a bitter pill to swallow knowing that I can’t have a baby that is genetically mine. It’s painful…period.

One thing I’m still trying to convince myself of, is that we are NOT “half of a woman.” We are more resilient and stronger than most women and we put ourselves through total torture just to try to have a baby. We are, in many ways, Superwomen… Most of society just has no idea as to what we endure.

Hang in there and try to find peace and joy somewhere in your life and marriage. :flower:


#4

I can’t offer words of advice, but I wish you peace.


#5

I appreciate all of you who answered me. Nice to know your not alone; even when it sometimes feels like it. Sometimes though it feels like your a disappointment to your parents, family, and spouse. That’s the feeling I hate. I’m doing my best to just go thru day to day. Just sometimes those people that have kids really shouldn’t, and the ones like us that should really can’t. WE will all be ok, thank god theres a place for us here. XOXOXO thank you everyone again for the vent session lol