Infertility effecting sex drive?!


#1

I recently heard on TV another woman saying she has some of the same side effects of infertility that I thought was strange and wonder if others are effected as well and how you handle it.

Since finding out I am unable to conceive naturally my sex drive slowly decreased. I feel less than a woman. The one thing a woman, every woman, should be able to do I cant. No one around me understands or has any problems conceiving so I really have no one to turn to.

I often feel bad that I do wish to engage in sex as we used to. He has been very patient but its starting to wear off and he becoming frustrated. I literally have to have wine to get me in the mood. I spend too much time thinking and being sad.

Now I am trying to make changes. Even though my sex drive is still the same I try to just go along with it. I work out everyday and that helps with the stress but also tires me out. What are your thoughts and experiences with infertility and your sex drive??


#2

Oh geez definitely. It takes all the spontaneity out of it. And there is nothing so sexy as soon as you’re done rolling over and sticking some pillows under your butt… hey and while I’m at it, I’ll bicycle my legs for a few. Get that sperm in there real good!
Infertility is frustrating and demoralizing as a woman. There ain’t nothing sexy about it so definitely don’t beat yourself up.
Maybe on the days when you’re going to do the deed, spend the day doing some positive affirmations and do your best to push those other thoughts from your mind. Keep reminding yourself you’re a sexy goddess! Maybe make some tiger sounds. Ha ha. Whatever works. Get that brain to remember sex is sexy… and good luck! RAR! :wink:


#3

Yes, I have experienced this, too. Another terrible aspect of battling with infertility. My relationship with DH became so stressed after dealing with this for a few years that we just had to stop everything - all treatments and all thoughts of infertility. Between my sadness, lack of sexual desire, and the financial strains we reached a point where we nearly lost each other. Making the choice to take time off from treatments was a definite gamble in my case, as I am nearly 38 years old, but it has been worth the risk. In the end we will only have each other either way, and we ultimately decided to value that above all else. Our relationship is now better and stronger than it has ever been, and we are in the middle of our first IVF. I pray for positive results, but if we do not get them at least we have each other. We’ll pick up the pieces and move on.

In my case taking a break was the best thing for us. After some time away from it all I definitely was able to reclaim my life and my former self.

Good luck and best wishes to you!!


#4

I can totally understand how you feel. When we initially started TTC a couple of years ago- everything was pressure, sex was mechanical, and there was no shortage of stress. Once we decided to go to our RE and made the decision to do IVF we made some changes. We decided that we were going to do everything within our power and we would leave the rest to God. We decided not to talk about it unless we needed to. That is why I joined this forum because it gave me the release to talk about whatever I wanted with these ladies, get advice and support without worrying my DH to death. It helped us out tremendously. I sat my DH down and told him how I felt like a failure and that I am scared that I ruined his chances to have a baby. He told me that he didn’t marry me for my uterus and my ability to give him a child. He said if we never had children that I was enough for him. That made me feel so good and took the pressure off too. Finally, we decided to take a trip for a long weekend before we started our stims. All of that helped to get our sex drive back on track. Sorry for the long drawn out response. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone but you can still have a baby so don’t give up hope.


#5

[QUOTE=Heavensent]I recently heard on TV another woman saying she has some of the same side effects of infertility that I thought was strange and wonder if others are effected as well and how you handle it.

Since finding out I am unable to conceive naturally my sex drive slowly decreased. I feel less than a woman. The one thing a woman, every woman, should be able to do I cant. No one around me understands or has any problems conceiving so I really have no one to turn to.

I often feel bad that I do wish to engage in sex as we used to. He has been very patient but its starting to wear off and he becoming frustrated. I literally have to have wine to get me in the mood. I spend too much time thinking and being sad.

Now I am trying to make changes. Even though my sex drive is still the same I try to just go along with it. I work out everyday and that helps with the stress but also tires me out. What are your thoughts and experiences with infertility and your sex drive??[/QUOTE]

Yep, I think infertility issues can hurt someone’s sex drive for a variety of reasons. I find that the general malaise and sadness of childlessness tends to sap away a lot of the joy in life, and that includes the joy of sex to some degree. Not to mention, working long, hard hours so that you can AFFORD IVF can just sap your energy away. By the time I trudge in from teaching extra night classes at 10:30-11:00 P.M., I’m lucky if my wife is even awake, nonetheless in “the mood.”

So yes, this is a good point that you’ve brought up.