IVF results negative


#1

I pretty much never post on these sites (although I can say I’ve read pretty much everything on here thanks to Google) because I don’t know all the acronyms and such. My husband and I just did our first cycle of IVF. We have been trying to conceive for almost 10 years. I’m 35 and he’s 38. Everything seemed to go as planned. We did do a transfer on day 3 because only 7 eggs fertilized (one was late so that one didn’t really count) and the doc felt like it would give us a higher chance of a positive outcome. We both felt so positive about all of this. I was terribly sick through the entire BCP (which was like 5 weeks long - ugh) and I did have one small tubal cyst (which I have had issues with in the past and have had them surgically removed - although that did give the doc a chance to look at my ovaries which he said did not look cystic even though I’ve been “diagnosed” with PCOS). Of the three embryos transferred, 2 were 8 cell and 1 was a 6 cell. Unfortunately, today, my beta number came back at less than 1. We were instructed to stop taking the meds and that the doc would be in touch with us in a month or two to talk about future treatment.

I don’t have to say how I’m feeling right now because I know many of you probably know. I’m frustrated and mad and I just want to know why. I don’t know that there is anything they can tell me about why it didn’t happen other than it just didn’t. So… since we have at least one cycle off (and I don’t know if we’ll do IVF again because honestly - that was terrible for me), please tell me, what did would you do to increase your chances of naturally conceiving? Part of me wants to just go to Hawaii for a couple of months - but the realistic side of me knows that’s not going to happen (plus I’d feel guilty spending money on that and not the next round of IVF). Physically, can I do something to increase our chances? Should I be taking something? Eating something? I’m desperate to not feel like it’s over. 10 years is a long, long time and a negative after all of this, well, let’s just say we’re not taking it well. So any encouragement or advice is really appreciated.


#2

Although there really are no words for this, I am so very sorry this IVF did not result in a pregnancy for you.

I am afraid I don’t have any knowledge of the “silver bullet” that would help us to conceive, as I have sadly never been pregnant. We are just beginning our first IVF after 4 years of TTC, and I don’t know what our next steps will be if this doesn’t work. Although the treatments are terrible on so many levels, there is a lot of evidence to suggest that if we CAN stick with them we will eventually reach our goal.

Infertility-Success Rates


#3

Don’t give up!

I know this is a terribly hard journey… I have basically spent the last 5 years trying foe either my dd or a sibling.

They say on average it takes about two- three Ives before you have a successful pregnancy. Infertility sucks in the worst possible way but the outcome is beyond amazing. I’m head over heels for my child even tho she is current,y screaming at the top of her lungs cuz she doesn’t want to go to bed.

Keep trying and tell yourself daily you will be a new parent!

Some questions - what was your protocol? How long did you stim for? What’s your clinic? Tell us more and I am sure you will get some great suggestions! :grouphug: IVF is not for the weak! :grouphug:


#4

I just wanted to reach out with hugs. I hear the hurt in your heart in every word of your post. Infertility is among the most difficult emotional roads to travel and it’s worst when you feel basically alone in it. I’m glad you reached out :slight_smile:

I’m not a doctor of course but I can volunteer this in case it helps: I have slight PCOS too and I’ve had two rounds of IVF, one with microdose lupron and the other with estrogen priming, and I’ve never had to suppress with BCP beforehand. Some clinics don’t do that for everyone. Consider asking about protocols without BCP and maybe consider a second opinion at another clinic. Would it be easier to face another round without BCP? I hope so.

Thinking about you!


#5

So sorry to hear this. IF is the pits and only people who have been through it understand. I just wanted to let you know that there is hope. my first IVF in march was abysmal and ended with a :bfn:. I had my second this may and got a :bfp:2 days ago. It can (and will) happen for you.

My advice is to be proactive in your treatment-- ask as many questions as you want (even questions you think are stupid). Also,I would advice meeting with your RE sooner than later to discuss what he thinks went wrong with this cycle and what he plans to do differently in the next. 2 months(even 1 month) is too long to go before having that discussion to help you and your dh decide on how you want to proceed with treatment. If your RE won’t meet with you before then, find a new clinic/new RE.
I hope things turn around for you and your next cycle is more successful. hang in there.:grouphug:


#6

As you can see from my signature, 19 years of infertility treatments for me.
Everything I can say to you, believe and don’t give up!!!


#7

I’m so very sorry for your disappointment. We have been trying for a very long time, too and I remember vividly how broken I was after our first IVF failed. I knew that it was only a 50/50 chance, but nothing prepared me for the devastation I felt.

To answer your question, the main thing I would suggest is that you make sure you are being treated by the very best clinic. Looking back, I know that my treatment was just cookie cutter, out of the box and after several failed cycles I am with a doctor who is giving me a more individualized approach. Don’t read too much on the internet. There is so much information out there about diet changes, supplements, acupuncture, yoga, bedrest, blah, blah, blah. It gets too overwhelming. The bottom line is you need a doctor who knows why you’re not getting pregnant and has experience and expertise in treating that issue. Don’t be afraid to shop around and get more opininions. I’m doing a free consult with another reputable out-of-state doctor in 2 weeks. I won’t be cycling there, but I want to get as much advice as possible before proceeding with my local clinic. Best of luck to you. This process is not for the faint hearted, but I can say that after all we have been through I have come out stronger and with better perspective, and complete resolve to explore any and all options to become a mother. Take care :grouphug:


#8

I’m so very sorry for your disappointment. We have been trying for a very long time, too and I remember vividly how broken I was after our first IVF failed. I knew that it was only a 50/50 chance, but nothing prepared me for the devastation I felt.

To answer your question, the main thing I would suggest is that you make sure you are being treated by the very best clinic. Looking back, I know that my treatment was just cookie cutter, out of the box and after several failed cycles I am with a doctor who is giving me a more individualized approach. Don’t read too much on the internet. There is so much information out there about diet changes, supplements, acupuncture, yoga, bedrest, blah, blah, blah. It gets too overwhelming. The bottom line is you need a doctor who knows why you’re not getting pregnant and has experience and expertise in treating that issue. Don’t be afraid to shop around and get more opininions. I’m doing a free consult with another reputable out-of-state doctor in 2 weeks. I won’t be cycling there, but I want to get as much advice as possible before proceeding with my local clinic. Best of luck to you. This process is not for the faint hearted, but I can say that after all we have been through I have come out stronger and with better perspective, and complete resolve to explore any and all options to become a mother. Take care :grouphug:


#9

I’m so sorry your IVF didn’t work. My first one failed too and I was absolutely devastated. The pain I felt was overwhelming, I think in part due to the fact we had just gone through the most aggressive treatment and still came up with nothing.

Believe me, I know IVF is no picnic but it gives you a much higher chance of having a baby than doing nothing. For my 2nd IVF we fortunately had insurance that covered it, so at least the financial burden was lifted. My RE said my chances of becoming pregnant via IUI were 10-12% and with IVF 40%. I was 39 years old at the time.

I think if you are really stuck on having a biological child then you need to commit to the idea of having to endure more than 1 IVF (as sucky as it is)! The truth is, I do think most REs learn a lot from failed cycles. We had different REs for the 1st and 2nd IVFs and the 2nd RE said that she would have done a different protocol. At times, I really questioned her, but figured hey, she is the doctor and in the end, she was right!

I wish I could tell you to eat something or drink something that would increase your chances of getting pregnant naturally but in my case I think I tried everything (royal jelly, acupuncture, not drinking caffeine, avoiding dairy, not avoiding dairy, you name it) and nothing worked in 6 years except the IVF. That said, there are many women on this forum who have gotten pregnant naturally between treatment or after treatment. So, it certainly can happen. I think you just need to figure out how proactive you are willing to be and what you can live with. I am pretty anal and wanted to exert some control over my situation and what I felt was my broken body. I knew if I didn’t I would always regret not trying. For some, it means committing to x # of IVFs and then pursuing adoption if the treatments fail. For others, it means trying to come to terms with living child free. The bottom line is everyone is different and it is a very personal journey a couple has to make. However, this community is wonderful no matter what path you choose. You will always find so much hope and support here. The previous posters have offered great advice. Big hugs to you and I wish you the best no matter what you decide!


#10

Thanks for all the responses. The last 24 hours have been very difficult as I’m sure you all know. My husband wants to talk with our doctor tomorrow so hopefully we will have more info then. Unfortunately, my doctor is in California and I’m in Utah. He comes here every other month to do a cycle of patients and then returns to California to resume there. There’s really only two other options here locally, and after looking at all of them, we decided this was the one with the most reputable history. I do like my doctor and I do feel comfortable with him. I do however, feel like it’s incredibly hard to talk to him and I always get his nurse (who also happens to be his daughter). I definitely get a vibe that I’m bothering her and that she would rather not waste her time with me.

More info on my particular treatment… I did 5 weeks of BCPs with metformin (for PCOS which has never been diagnosed and before having tubal cysts which they thought at the time were ovarian cysts, the surgeon/obgyn asked me who told me I had PCOS… it was him… when he put me on clomid for a year and never once had me come back in for a check up). The reclipsen (BCPs) make me super sick. I actually think they are causing the cysts but the nurse keeps saying that’s impossible and that it’s really the metformin (although I’m currently taking the metformin and other than being really depressed, I feel fine). I started on Lupron before I stopped taking the BCPs. I really didn’t have any side affects from the Lupron (other than feeling really hot). I took Follistim and Menopur from April 29th through May 8th at varying dosages. At each ultrasound, they adjusted the amounts I should be taking. I took my last Lupron shot on the 9th (noon) and then the “trigger” shot that evening. Then on the 10th I had to come in for a booster shot because they said the HCG shot wasn’t doing what it was supposed to (although they said it was boarder line). Egg retrieval was on the 11th. I had 12 follicles so I was expecting 12 eggs. The girl before me had 21 (I overheard and immediately began thinking my 12 must be a really low number). Then after, they told me I really only had 11 because one was empty. :frowning: They performed ICSI with 9 of the eggs (two were immature) and of the 9, 6 fertilized. They did a day 3 transfer because I had such a low number of eggs. On transfer day, they did tell me I had a late fertilizer and so I now had 4 embryos hoping to make it to day 5 for freezing. They transferred 3 embryos, 2 that were 8 cells (one they said was perfect) and then 1 that was a 6 cell. Sadly, the remaining 4 didn’t make it to day 5. I was on progesterone 4 times a day and estrogen patches (every other day) with the baby aspirin and the metformin. I did the whole bed rest thing and taking it easy. Everything seemed like it was going great.

Insurance doesn’t cover any cost of our IVF. It didn’t even cover our bloodwork ($3000 - isn’t that insane?!). So far this has been an extremely expensive process and I feel like I’m running out of time. It’s frustrating because I feel like doing it again would yield the same results. And since everything went so well, I can’t imagine that they will know why we didn’t get pregnant.

Someone asked me if I felt like doing IVF again without the BCPs would be easier and I would say - definitely. There is certainly a 2-3 week period in there that I felt terrible (swelling from the ovaries, after egg extraction, being on pins and needles with the whole bed rest and not wanting to ruin our chances) but with the BCPs, I really was in bed sick for more than 2 months total. That seems like an awful long time to be out of commission. :confused:

I do appreciate the positive comments. It makes me feel like I should give it another try. Although this drained us financially… yeah for credit cards! I honestly don’t know how people afford this. It’s ridiculous that BCPs are free and IVF is so expensive. :frowning:


#11

LoriF

I am so sorry to hear your devastating news. My husband has been telling me for months that if our first cycle doesn’t work then we are booking a trip to Disney world immediately after because we need some fun after all the crap we’ve been through. I thought he was kidding, but I realize as the time to start our first cycle becomes closer that I have invested everything in this and if it doesn’t work I will be inconsolable. Maybe it sounds silly, but taking a little vacation may not help our fertility, but it is still good for a grieving soul.

Things that people have told me that might help improve a cycle are acupuncture, royal jelly, CoQ10 and antioxidants. I’m not sure they work, but some people swear that one or more of those were the only difference between a failed cycle and a BFP. Whatever you decide, Hawaii or not, another round of IVF or not, I will be praying that God is with you in your sorrows.


#12

I am so sorry you are going through this.

Honestly, I’ve only been through one IVF but from what I’ve read, your response seems pretty typical. Some women do get a ton of eggs, but the best cycles are those with decent but moderate numbers (I think I read that 8-14 is ideal). You had a good fertilization rate and good embies on day 3. Does your clinic do a day 5 transfer? That might give you more insight as to which follicle truly is the shining star. Our numbers were similar to yours…we retrieved 10 eggs and only one of them was really good quality on day 5, even though 6 of them were excellent on day 3. If they had transferred on day 3, they might not have used the best ones. I know each clinic has different protocols, but I’m glad we did the day 5.

Anyway, we only had to pay for the actual procedure (“only” $7700), but it’s sooo stressful!! ANd then with none to freeze, it stinks to have to start all over again. We were extremely fortunate that it worked the first time, but I have read that the average number is 2.5 IVFs :frowning:

Best wishes to you…I really hope your dream comes true, and soon!


#13

LoriF - Since your local options are limited have you considered traveling for IVF? I really don’t like the vibe you get from the nurse and that the MD is hard to talk to. Even with the cost of airfare, hotel, etc it may still be cheaper to fly somewhere to have it done. For example my clinic here in the Dallas area ( Reproductive Care Dallas ) charges $6500, which I know is considerably cheaper than a lot of clinics and people travel from out of town to see them. I don’t know what could be done differently but my clinic has an interesting article on their blog that I found really informative about all the different things that could cause IVF failure:
Why Did My IVF Cycle Fail | Dallas
I wish you all the best in this journey


#14

@Francesca13, they do offer day 5. We were originally scheduled for a day 5 transfer but since originally only 6 fertilized, they felt that on day 5 we might have only one good embryo. Thus, on day 3, they put all the embryos that looked good in (3) and then left the remaining 4 (including the one that was slow to fertilize) to incubate and hopefully make it to day 5 for freezing. None of them made it so that left us with the 3 that they transferred to me. They said the day 3 transfer shouldn’t affect our outcome but I felt like it did. It seems like day 5 has better outcomes (maybe because the embryos are better?).

@hlaine, thanks for the link! That is very good information. I have to wonder if there was something wrong with the lining and that is why they didn’t implant (assuming they didn’t because really from the day of transfer to yesterday, I don’t know what happened). I don’t think they checked it after the last ultrasound which was two days before extraction. So I guess anything could have happened.

I’d love to think that traveling elsewhere might make it cheaper, but I don’t think that’s possible. Our IVF procedure was $9000 (with the ICSI) and then our medications were another $3000 (of course not covered by insurance - any of it). Then there were loads of other little things like an ultrasound here and an ultrasound there and extra meds. We also had to do bloodwork before they would do anything and that wasn’t covered ($3000 because we have gold in our veins…) and then the HSG which I don’t remember how much that was… Anyway, the next cycle will be cheaper because we won’t have to do the HSG or the bloodwork. But we will need to purchase all the drugs again and of course, pay for the procedure. It’s frustrating. We did consider going to LA where my doctor is most of the time, but eventually decided that wasn’t a good idea. I love being around my husband and he can’t be that far from work for that long (and yes, some might roll their eyes, but we’ve never spent a night apart in the 10 years we’ve been married and we both try to avoid that from happening although it likely will should we have children one day).

@HumDucky, I think a trip to Hawaii would definitely help. I love the islands (although I prefer to go in winter because it’s a break from the cold and there’s tons less tourist!). We’ve been discussing going in mid June since our 10 year anniversary is June 20th. I wanted to go up in the mountains and camp for a few days (in a trailer - I’m through with tents!) but cold front came in and it’s snowing up there. So with the rain, I’m stuck in the house. :confused: At least my husband took a couple of days off to be with me. He’s a good man and I feel terrible that he was so excited for this and I feel like I’ve failed him. :frowning: He’d never say I did, but I feel like I did.


#15

Maybe see if they do a mini IVF. It’s less meds and about 1/2 the cost and they focus on egg quality.


#16

Lorif- am sorry your going thru this. I’ve had two failed cycles one ivf and one fet and both times felt the same but we are on our 2nd ivf and I know if I get a bfn I will be devestaded but I can honestly say that atleast I tried and didn’t give up my dream of having another baby. And we are paying out of pocket no insurance at all. So financially we are done, emotionally almost but I pray everyday it works and I know that we have a better chance now because our doctor knows us a little better and knows what didn’t work with us. So my opinion is that you try again if its financially possible. And I also agree with the other lady that said she don’t get a good vibe from your md or his nurse just something dont seem right maybe you should look in to another clinic? I know it’s so difficult right now and you need time to heal your body and your heart and when your ready you will do what’s best for you. Keep us updated and don’t loose hope. Wish you the best and we are all here for you so please don’t think twice about
Posting. Hugs and god bless you :grouphug:


#17

I know what you mean about the guilt…my DH is “perfect” and I seem to be the reason we are not getting pregnant. There have been times in our TTC journey that the guilt I felt was nearly unbearable. He wants this so much, and I’m afraid I may never be able to give it to him. But I know in my heart he doesn’t blame me or love me less. He sees this as “our” problem, that we face together.

It sounds as though your husband is a great man who loves you tons!!! I’m sure he feels the same way, and just wants to stand by your side and face your trials together, without any “fault” ever even thought of. Remember to be so very thankful for each other! No matter what, we have that. :grouphug:


#18

[QUOTE=LoriF]I pretty much never post on these sites (although I can say I’ve read pretty much everything on here thanks to Google) because I don’t know all the acronyms and such. My husband and I just did our first cycle of IVF. We have been trying to conceive for almost 10 years. I’m 35 and he’s 38. Everything seemed to go as planned. We did do a transfer on day 3 because only 7 eggs fertilized (one was late so that one didn’t really count) and the doc felt like it would give us a higher chance of a positive outcome. We both felt so positive about all of this. I was terribly sick through the entire BCP (which was like 5 weeks long - ugh) and I did have one small tubal cyst (which I have had issues with in the past and have had them surgically removed - although that did give the doc a chance to look at my ovaries which he said did not look cystic even though I’ve been “diagnosed” with PCOS). Of the three embryos transferred, 2 were 8 cell and 1 was a 6 cell. Unfortunately, today, my beta number came back at less than 1. We were instructed to stop taking the meds and that the doc would be in touch with us in a month or two to talk about future treatment.

I don’t have to say how I’m feeling right now because I know many of you probably know. I’m frustrated and mad and I just want to know why. I don’t know that there is anything they can tell me about why it didn’t happen other than it just didn’t. So… since we have at least one cycle off (and I don’t know if we’ll do IVF again because honestly - that was terrible for me), please tell me, what did would you do to increase your chances of naturally conceiving? Part of me wants to just go to Hawaii for a couple of months - but the realistic side of me knows that’s not going to happen (plus I’d feel guilty spending money on that and not the next round of IVF). Physically, can I do something to increase our chances? Should I be taking something? Eating something? I’m desperate to not feel like it’s over. 10 years is a long, long time and a negative after all of this, well, let’s just say we’re not taking it well. So any encouragement or advice is really appreciated.[/QUOTE]

Welcome Lori, and sorry for the disappointment. I wish we could greet you on better circumstances. You are right, plenty of us know exactly how you feel, and that can sometimes be some comfort to be amongst peers in that regard.

The best advice I can give you is to be as fluent in the language of IVF and reproductive health as you possibly can. Be as informed as you can. Most infertility doctors will not answer many of the “hard questions,” even if they are good doctors, so you need to be able to answer many of them yourself.

For example, the RE of my wife and I is an incredible, accomplished expert in his field, but even we had issues with him being forthcoming. He never told us that weight can be a major stumbling block to IVF treatment. When we confronted him on this point later, he confessed that most doctors won’t mention that a patient should lose weight if they are overweight or take certain measures to improve their odds, because often times, patients will get offended and then take their business to a different practice.

The best thing you can do is be your own advocate in your IVF journey. Don’t give up yet. Your first IVF is the trial run. It’s supposed to inform you so that the next one is better. My wife and I had a miscarried first IVF attempt and we were told, “shucks, who really knows for sure why it went wrong?” After a lot of our own research, it turns out that answer was bogus. The reason it went wrong was in fact quite obvious.