IVF Under 30?


#1

Anyone else belong to this club? DH & I are both 26 and starting our first cycle next month.

It’s a unique position to “defend” our decision to do IVF, based on age, as everyone assumes we have so much time to have a baby.

I’m looking for anyone who shares some of these same frustrations.


#2

My DH & I are 28. Were going through Ivf bc of my tubal issues. If we had the funds two years ago we would have tried ivf at that time. Best wishes follow your heart & don’t let anyone discourage you.

If you don’t mind me asking why are you seeking Ivf? What are your infertility factors? I’ll start stimming the 3rd week of April, how about you?


#3

I don’t even think you have to be young to understand this. Everyone and their dog has an opinion on your life and when kids are appropriate. For us, being 38 this time around we faced the too old scrutiny. It is sooo funny too because with our first it was “Wow shouldn’t you wait until you are married awhile first” (we got pregnant pretty quick after being married)? With our second it was “don’t you think you should be more financially stable?” And with our third it was “how many kids do you think you need?” So it is always something with some people. I just try to ignore them. They don’t live your life and are not the ones that will regret not having been more aggressive earlier if you were to end up later on still with no kids on the advice of these people who think you have plenty of time so…

There are plenty of ladies on here that are young and doing IVF too so you are in good company!! :flower:


#4

I am 23 and my partner is 21. We started our first IVF cycle back in 2011. I too get the good ol’ saying “you are so young, time is on your side so dont worry” Pretty frustrating. Good luck! :bsv:


#5

Yup we’re there too! We started IVF when I was 27 and everyone kept saying that we had plenty of time…however depending on your infertility issues, time won’t solve anything! So I’ve learned to just ignore most people! Good luck!


#6

[QUOTE=BrittEv0610]Anyone else belong to this club? DH & I are both 26 and starting our first cycle next month.

It’s a unique position to “defend” our decision to do IVF, based on age, as everyone assumes we have so much time to have a baby.

I’m looking for anyone who shares some of these same frustrations.[/QUOTE]

My wife and I are 30, but we did our first cycle when we were 28. We were high school sweet hearts and spent years and years planning for kids. I still remember talking to her about it when I was a sophomore in high school. We always wanted kids but thought that having kids too young would be irresponsible so we waited. Right before we started trying at around 25-26, she had a surgery that accidentally damaged her fallopian tubes and ovaries, at which point we had to start resorting to IVF.

So yeah, we certainly understand the frustrations. My wife and I felt like we did every last thing right when it came to having kids: we entered into a stable relationship when we were young and didn’t date other people (eliminates the chance of damaging STDs), we went through college and got decent jobs, we waited until we had a nice house in a good neighborhood, we started trying when we were still in our reproductive prime, and we never spent money on vacations or unnecessary luxuries so that we could have our kids in a timely fashion before we got too old.

But that’s just the way it is. The one thing that makes me feel better is how lucky I’ve been already. I suppose you can only really fit so much happiness in life at a time.


#7

Totally agree with everyone. Like Demian said you can do everything right and still end up in this situation. That is just life, but I think if you are ready for kids then go for it–why wait. It took us three years to get to our IVF that finally worked and I have seen ladies on here that have tried for 10+ yrs having started out very young so…you just cannot predict how long your individual journey is going to be.

Knowing this, I told my little sister not to wait. She is 23 and was also having trouble conceiving and being told by my mother and her in laws she needed to just wait it out, but I was worried about the underlying issue of why she was having issues and if she waited it out in my view she may never have kids because waiting is a gamble. She had already tried naturally for nearly two yrs and yet the advice of others around her, that clearly don’t get it, was to wait it out because she is still young. My thought was WOW–I mean after two years trying naturally don’t you want to at least look into why? And I cannot understand those that don’t get that. How long should one wait it out? Until they are 35 like I was? And if they do wait like that now they have just added age into the equation or as Demian pointed out his wife’s surgery that added IVF to their equation.

My sister did seek help! Her case turned out to be very simple and all she needed was her hypothyroidism diagnosed and treated. She got pregnant the following cycle after starting synthroid and bringing her TSH down. She is now 14wks and super excited of course and does not regret ignoring mom or the in laws advice. AND in her case it is a good thing she didn’t as undiagnosed and untreated hypothyroidism would have taken it’s toll on her health wise over time so it turned out not to just be about conception, but her overall health.

My story is similar as well because I had lots of symptoms of diabetes, thyroid issues and poly-cystic ovaries yet they went undiagnosed for years. It wasn’t until we pursued having more kids that these things were found so I credit my future health to this baby and I feel better even pregnant than I did previously being untreated for these things so…this process hasn’t just allowed us to conceive this beautiful blessing, but has also given me more quality years of life/health and I feel has helped me to direct my sister in getting her diagnosis as well. Nothing but good has come out of seeking help for both of us.

I guess my point is that I don’t think it is ever too early for adults to try for kids if it is their desire to have them and they know something isn’t quite right. Especially since often it isn’t just about conception, but also about overall health. Health that can get worse if left undiagnosed and untreated. If you come out being 100% with no problems then you have lost nothing in seeking the answer early on and at least know you are healthy and have learned some helpful things throughout the process.

That is my thoughts anyway! :flower:


#8

Wow, thank you for the overwhelming response. I’m at work so this will be short until I get home. My husband was diagnosed with no sperm (three years ago) the biopsy showed he has settling cell only, though his new urologist gave us about a 5-10% chance that with this procedure will find any usable sperm (the name of the operation escapes me).

We have known for three years and went through all the ups and downs together and finally decided to try IVF. One of my reasons for doing it now is that I have read so much about how fast a woman’s fertility drops off after 30 & both my maternal grandmother and my mom started menopause pretty early. Other than that we are just ready. We have been ready.

I think some of it comes from my insecurity about being singled out, I am the youngest of the woman I know so far that are starting at this clinic in this cycle (so far) . I feel like everyone (medical staff included) looks at us like we are still kids.


#9

[QUOTE=BrittEv0610]Wow, thank you for the overwhelming response. I’m at work so this will be short until I get home. My husband was diagnosed with no sperm (three years ago) the biopsy showed he has settling cell only, though his new urologist gave us about a 5-10% chance that with this procedure will find any usable sperm (the name of the operation escapes me).

We have known for three years and went through all the ups and downs together and finally decided to try IVF. One of my reasons for doing it now is that I have read so much about how fast a woman’s fertility drops off after 30 & both my maternal grandmother and my mom started menopause pretty early. Other than that we are just ready. We have been ready.

I think some of it comes from my insecurity about being singled out, I am the youngest of the woman I know so far that are starting at this clinic in this cycle (so far) . I feel like everyone (medical staff included) looks at us like we are still kids.[/QUOTE]

Ha, that’s funny that you mention how you feel going into the clinic, Brit, because I’ve felt the same way. When we did our first cycle, I was about 26 and still in grad school, so I brought my backpack with me so I could read some research documents. When I walked in with my backpack slung over my shoulder and saw all of the older men in suites and older women in business attire, I suddenly felt like I was a middle school student who had accidentally stumbled into the teacher’s lounge.

In some ways, though, it’s good to have started the IVF process early, because like Ahhny mentioned, you learn A LOT about your own reproductive health that you wouldn’t have otherwise known. Some of those things may have just gotten worse had they been left undiscovered.

I’m curious though, is the primary barrier to your success male factor? If that’s the case, then you as an individual will have some wiggle room, both temporally as well as your umbrella of IVF options (donor sperm is light years easier to get than donor eggs, for example).


#10

I was 27 when we went thru IVF and 26 when we started medical treatment with clomid and then IUIs.
Look at my signature, I now have a 2month old from my first IVF!
I wish we would have skipped thru the IUIs and went straight to IVF, but we hoped financially it wouldnt come to IVF But we made things work so we could have our miracle!


#11

[quote=Demian]Ha, that’s funny that you mention how you feel going into the clinic, Brit, because I’ve felt the same way. When we did our first cycle, I was about 26 and still in grad school, so I brought my backpack with me so I could read some research documents. When I walked in with my backpack slung over my shoulder and saw all of the older men in suites and older women in business attire, I suddenly felt like I was a middle school student who had accidentally stumbled into the teacher’s lounge.

In some ways, though, it’s good to have started the IVF process early, because like Ahhny mentioned, you learn A LOT about your own reproductive health that you wouldn’t have otherwise known. Some of those things may have just gotten worse had they been left undiscovered.

I’m curious though, is the primary barrier to your success male factor? If that’s the case, then you as an individual will have some wiggle room, both temporally as well as your umbrella of IVF options (donor sperm is light years easier to get than donor eggs, for example).[/quote]

That is exactly how I felt at our orientation. My husband (military) was in uniform and I was in jeans, t-shirt and sneakers. I felt like a little kid when I realized everyone was in heels and “dressed up.” It didn’t occur to me once to not dress the way I always do (I’m a Nanny).

As for our infertility, male factor is our main issue. With just a slightly elevated prolactin level, that was tested and had gone down to normal, I have no other issues. Although I’m pretty sure everyone can understand that it’s still “our” infertility, even though the diagnosis is pretty one sided.

Because of the likelihood that they won’t find any viable sperm, we will have donor sperm on reserve at the clinic the day of my egg retrieval and his procedure. We are clinging to hope that we won’t need the donor sperm but are very prepared to use it in case we do need it.


#12

[quote=JMiller10]I was 27 when we went thru IVF and 26 when we started medical treatment with clomid and then IUIs.
Look at my signature, I now have a 2month old from my first IVF!
I wish we would have skipped thru the IUIs and went straight to IVF, but we hoped financially it wouldnt come to IVF But we made things work so we could have our miracle![/quote]

Congrats! I’m glad you got your little miracle!


#13

[quote=Webelieveinmiracles]My DH & I are 28. Were going through Ivf bc of my tubal issues. If we had the funds two years ago we would have tried ivf at that time. Best wishes follow your heart & don’t let anyone discourage you.

If you don’t mind me asking why are you seeking Ivf? What are your infertility factors? I’ll start stimming the 3rd week of April, how about you?[/quote]

Our’s is male factor. DH was diagnosed in 2010 as having zero sperm count.

We just paid for our cycle today, so I haven’t gotten dates yet. I’ll definitely let you know when I have them.


#14

[quote=Demian]My wife and I are 30, but we did our first cycle when we were 28. We were high school sweet hearts and spent years and years planning for kids. I still remember talking to her about it when I was a sophomore in high school. We always wanted kids but thought that having kids too young would be irresponsible so we waited. Right before we started trying at around 25-26, she had a surgery that accidentally damaged her fallopian tubes and ovaries, at which point we had to start resorting to IVF.

So yeah, we certainly understand the frustrations. My wife and I felt like we did every last thing right when it came to having kids: we entered into a stable relationship when we were young and didn’t date other people (eliminates the chance of damaging STDs), we went through college and got decent jobs, we waited until we had a nice house in a good neighborhood, we started trying when we were still in our reproductive prime, and we never spent money on vacations or unnecessary luxuries so that we could have our kids in a timely fashion before we got too old.

But that’s just the way it is. The one thing that makes me feel better is how lucky I’ve been already. I suppose you can only really fit so much happiness in life at a time.[/quote]

Your whole entire post is exactly DH and I…except when we decided that we were finally ready with our perfect life of finishing college, jobs, nice house, ect then he was diagnosed with cancer. It’s the one thing that really upsets us the most because had we been irresponsible, we probably would have had our family but now we are grasping at IVF. But like you said, gotta be thankful for what you got and that’s about the only thing that we hold onto.


#15

Hi I am just letting you know I’m in the same boat me. And dh are 27 with unexplained infertility. My biggest problem is I had my whole life “planned” by age 20 I have been with dh for 11 years the plan was to get married, go back to school get a good job got a new home and I wanted to have 2 kids by age 26 I even had it planned down to the month the plan was I wanted to have a baby right after graduation in may so we started trying in aug 2009 and I thought we would succeed right away… Well here I am 3.5 years later and not one baby. Anyway my insurance runs out at the end of the year so I am doing an iui next cycle than moving to ivf. Good luck everyone :babydust:


#16

[QUOTE=BrittEv0610]That is exactly how I felt at our orientation. My husband (military) was in uniform and I was in jeans, t-shirt and sneakers. I felt like a little kid when I realized everyone was in heels and “dressed up.” It didn’t occur to me once to not dress the way I always do (I’m a Nanny).

As for our infertility, male factor is our main issue. With just a slightly elevated prolactin level, that was tested and had gone down to normal, I have no other issues. Although I’m pretty sure everyone can understand that it’s still “our” infertility, even though the diagnosis is pretty one sided.

Because of the likelihood that they won’t find any viable sperm, we will have donor sperm on reserve at the clinic the day of my egg retrieval and his procedure. We are clinging to hope that we won’t need the donor sperm but are very prepared to use it in case we do need it.[/QUOTE]

So Britt, just out of curiosity, do you think IVF is necessary in the event that you can’t find any sperm from your husband? I mean, you’ve paid for the first cycle and all, but shouldn’t artificial insemination work just fine in future attempts?

AnastasiaC, gosh, that certainly puts things into perspective. I hope its easily treatable… I can relate, in a way. Right before our first cycle, I started noticing that I had some peculiar symptoms. After the first cycle ended in a miscarriage, I did some research and determined that all of my symptoms (including my rare and unexplained sleeping condition I’d had since I was a child) was actually all symptomatic of early onset Parkinson’s Disease. I played it down to my wife, but boy what a low time. A tragic miscarriage, grim probability of children in the future, a possible neurological degenerative disease at 28… When it rains, it pours. We changed our lives, though. We ate better, got in shape, and stayed optimistic. Her egg quality got better and a lot of my symptoms receeded a bit, but not entirely. It just goes to show you that persistence and a raised chin can pay off.


#17

[QUOTE=Demian]So Britt, just out of curiosity, do you think IVF is necessary in the event that you can’t find any sperm from your husband? I mean, you’ve paid for the first cycle and all, but shouldn’t artificial insemination work just fine in future attempts? .[/QUOTE]

Demian, we will only find out on the day of egg retrieval if they have located any viable sperm or not and will of course change our plan of action based on that. If they find absolutely zero, we will finish out that IVF cycle using the donor sperm, as my body will have already been put through the entire cycle, in hopes that they do find sperm, and would it would be a waste not to complete they cycle.

If a few sperm are found, we will most likely try IVF again. Even if the quantity and quality aren’t that great. As long as the doctors give us the go ahead.

If they find zero, and I don’t get pregnant using the embryos created from the donor sperm, we will likely switch to just artificial insemination.


#18

Britt: We had a similar situation, however for my DH piece of mine, he wanted a full cycle with just his sperm even though we did not have much frozen and they did not think it would be good enough to use. So we had to go through a cycle that failed because we weren’t psychologically ready for a back up donor. We are now on round 2 with the rest of DH frozen but a back up this time. We’ve already told our RE that we don’t want to know what they are using, although as a medical professional, I know that if we get any fertilized…it will be with the back up. However I think that this is a rough journey for all involved and whatever the decisions on what methods are used, as long as your DH and you are happy and can live with them…then it’ll be ok!

Demian: You’re right…when it rains it pours but it always gets better! Have you been tested for Parkinson’s yet or just have the symptoms? Did they attribute the miscarriage to anything related to that? That is a horrible diagnosis and at such a young age. Yes, DH cancer was very treatable…just did a number on his endocrine system and ability to have children.


#19

[QUOTE=AnastasiaC] Demian: You’re right…when it rains it pours but it always gets better! Have you been tested for Parkinson’s yet or just have the symptoms? Did they attribute the miscarriage to anything related to that? That is a horrible diagnosis and at such a young age. Yes, DH cancer was very treatable…just did a number on his endocrine system and ability to have children.[/QUOTE]

Well, that’s good to hear about your husband, but unfortunate that it influences his ability to have children. My Parkinson’s scare had nothing to do with the miscarriage, though I wonder whether some of the symptoms were simply from all the IVF stress. The symptom that was a dead giveaway, though, was a sleep condition I’ve had since I was a child. It makes me wake up while I’m dreaming, but continue acting out the dream in real life as though I were still sleeping. Turns out that 2/3rds of people who have the condition will develop Parkinson’s within 20 years (I’ve had it for about 18). There, unfortunately, is no actual test for Parkinson’s other than observing that symptoms worsen over time. I’ve been to neurologists and they just don’t know at this point, because most of them have never seen a patient with this particular sleep condition at such a young age. Just about everyone with the condition is 50+ years old. So yeah, maybe that just puts me in an entirely different risk pool.


#20

[quote=AnastasiaC]Britt: We had a similar situation, however for my DH piece of mine, he wanted a full cycle with just his sperm even though we did not have much frozen and they did not think it would be good enough to use. So we had to go through a cycle that failed because we weren’t psychologically ready for a back up donor. We are now on round 2 with the rest of DH frozen but a back up this time. We’ve already told our RE that we don’t want to know what they are using, although as a medical professional, I know that if we get any fertilized…it will be with the back up. However I think that this is a rough journey for all involved and whatever the decisions on what methods are used, as long as your DH and you are happy and can live with them…then it’ll be ok!

Demian: You’re right…when it rains it pours but it always gets better! Have you been tested for Parkinson’s yet or just have the symptoms? Did they attribute the miscarriage to anything related to that? That is a horrible diagnosis and at such a young age. Yes, DH cancer was very treatable…just did a number on his endocrine system and ability to have children.[/quote]

:grouphug:I’m glad there is someone I can relate to, although I wish no one ever had to go through this, and even more so your given situation. My husband and I have had a long time to discuss our options, but getting to be “there” with donor sperm has been BY FAR the hardest part of this journey.

My husband is in the Navy and we were stationed 3,000 miles away from all of our family when we first found out about the infertility. It was a mess. We had such a hard time for a year and a half, my husband wouldn’t even talk about babies or go near any of the aisles at Target or Walmart. It was so hard because I had never imagined my life without children, ever.

Then we moved back east and got stationed at one of the few military treatment facilities that offer IVF and it opened up the conversation again. Five months later, we had a sibling of a friend approach us about adoption. At first it was really scary but we had gotten to a point where we were ready to have a baby by any means possible. A month later, the birth mom decided to keep the baby. We were heartbroken but had really seen that having biological children wasn’t the only option and went to urologist to discuss our options further. Still wounded from the failed adoption, we decided we’d like to try IVF before adoption again.

It’s been a lot of wounding and healing, the last few years. But it’s funny how now I can see that we needed to go through all of this to get to where we are now. We have such a more solid foundation now.