ivf with donor egg


#1

Hello ladies! I’ve been reading this forum for a couple of months now. Today I finally decided to register and ask for help. I will start from the beginning so it will be clear what I’m asking for. When I was 20 I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure. I couldn’t understand why it happened with me. I’ve been always dreaming about big family. I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers. My parents have been together for 40 years already! They’ve always been an example for me. But my diagnose changed me completely. I thought I will never meet a man, who will love me with my problem. Who wants to be with a woman, who cannot have children? That what I was thinking about. I closed in my room and I was trying to go outside as rare as possible. I started to be afraid of people. I didn’t hang out with friends. I put an end on myself. But one day husband of my older sister came to visit parents. It happened so he was with his friend. When I remember that day i can’t hold back my smile)) It was love from the first sight! I don’t know how but it cured my heart and my mind. Suddenly I realized that my problem is not that huge anyway. There are so much people, who have problems much more worst then mine and they keep on living no matter what! We start dating soon after we met. And i told him the truth. Of course I was afraid to loose him. But he supported me and said ‘We’ll figure it out together!’ We’ve been married for 3 years already. We think it’s time for us to have children. The only solution for us is IVF with donor egg. But we are confused and don’t know what clinic is better to choose? What should be considered? I will be grateful for any help!


#2

Your story is so romantic! I think love really cures people. When you find your soul mate, together you can do impossible! I also can’t have kids without medical help. I was diagnosed with PCOS almost 10 years ago. My only solution was egg donation. I had doubts, all these thoughts you are talking about never left my mind! The greatest fear was that I will not be able to love child, who is not genetically related to me. It’s much more easier for man to accept this procedure, because a baby will be from him. As it was my only way out, I decided we should try. It was difficult, but the result changed our lives! When we were looking for clinic, the main criteria for us were positive reviews, professional doctors and good service. We’ve chosen Ukrainian clinic. Our neighbors tried donation there and the procedure was successful. They shared their thoughts about the clinic and the process with us. Also we’ve read many positive reviews about other couples experience with this clinic. It has good specialists and high rates of successful treatments and fertilization procedures. I wanted a baby who I will carry and give birth by myself. I wanted to be with her from the moment of her birth, from her first breath. Of course, I wanted baby to look like us. But as soon as the doctor made an embryo transfer, the only thing I was thinking about was pregnancy to be successful and my baby to be born healthy! Now, when I remember how I suffered and couldn’t bear the thought that I have to resort to donor eggs, I cannot help laughing. I’ve got pregnant from 2nd attempt. Now I have my precious girl. We asked our doctor to find egg donor, who will have same features with me. Now I have absolutely no feeling that my girl is not mine genetically! No one can ever tell she is from donor egg. We decided not to tell our parents the whole truth. For them we had ivf with my eggs and my husband’s sperm. If you have firmly decided to become a mother, no difficulties will stop you. I’m not going to tell my daughter that I used donor egg to get pregnant. I’m sure she doesn’t need to worry about this in the future. I hope I helped you a little) I wish you luck in your search!


#3

Hello haileYhi! Thank you for your support. Your story makes me believe that my mind will also change. I want to love my child and I’m afraid that my kid will feel that I treat him/her differently… But your words calmed me a little. I really hope that as soon as I’ve got pregnant, my feelings will be different. Do you mind if I ask you a couple of questions about this clinic? It’s situated in Ukraine and there is war now. Is it safe to go there? I’ve seen so many horrible videos and reports from the news. Innocent people die there, whole cities turn into ruins. There are so many homeless and poor people, who became so because of this war. I pray for those people, I hope that situation there will change. But I should think first about safety of my family. What’s the name of this clinic you’ve chosen? What did you consider during your search?


#4

You’re welcome Mellany) Sure, you can ask me about the clinic. You can set your worries about war aside! We were in Kiev in August 2015 last time. We were nervous too. We didn’t know what picture we’ll see after we leave our plane. Especially after watching some videos our panic was huge. But I assure you it’s one of the most peaceful and friendly cities in the world. It’s absolutely safe in Kiev. The hostilities take place in east part of Ukraine. So you have nothing to concern about. The only thing you should think about is de ivf procedure and your future baby. The clinic is called BioTexCom. I can advice you to find how clinics choose donors for their programs. Which diseases are they screened for? These are all very important questions because you want to be sure that your donor is free from any infectious or genetic diseases. Speaking about our clinic, all requirements to donors were specified in the package we’ve chosen. First requirement is age of donor. All their donors are 18 – 25 years old. Second requirement is perfect physical and mental health. And third requirement is absence of genetic diseases in the donor and her family. Don’t forget to find out if there are any hidden costs. Sometimes the headline price for treatment seems good value. But once you read further you find that certain tests are excluded or essential procedures are extra. For example, some clinics may not include embryo freezing in their price for treatment. A good idea is to have a set of criteria which you can use to compare one clinic with another. Speaking about our clinic, they have packages for all services. So we’ve chosen package, which was the most suitable for us. We paid that single price. There were no extra fees. Pay attention to reviews of a clinic you have a preference for. There’s nothing like finding out what others say about a clinic. I hope this info will help you)


#5

Thank you so much for all these useful tips! I’ll definitely consider everything you’ve said. I’m sure all this info will help me in my search. I was literally lost! I had no idea where to start my search. I didn’t what should I pay attention at. Thanks to you know I know in what direction I should move! Thanks for telling me about situation in Ukraine. I should know if it’s safe there before moving forward and looking for clinic there. May I ask you a couple of questions? Why did you choose exactly this clinic? What was the major factor which convinced you? Was there something you didn’t like? Maybe there was some inconveniences? I don’t want to find falls, please don’t take me wrong! I just want to know all details to be prepared if something goes wrong. I understand that you can’t be ready for everything and foresee each event. But still it’s nice when you know what to expect. How was the service? How did you communicate with doctors and staff? Neither my husband nor I know Ukrainian. Of course it’s not a big deal! We can hire translator. The only thing is he should have some medical education…And you’ve said that the clinic has packages for all services. What is the difference? Which one you’ve chosen? How much it costed? Sorry for so many questions. I’ll understand if something you don’t want to tell) Maybe some of these issues are too personal, so it’s ok) I don’t want bother you with my problems) Just hope for your help!


#6

You’re welcome, dear! Pls ask whatever you need. I’d love to help with everything I can. Who else can help with searching of clinic if someone who had this procedure. Why did we choose exactly this clinic? We found many reviews about it, which convinced us to go there. Also manager of the clinic responded quickly on our first mail. She answered all our questions and tell us everything we needed to know. I’ve looked through each forum, each thread, each comment about de ivf procedure. There were both good and bad reviews. But generally the clinic seemed to me professional and popular among infertile couples. Also their prices are much lower then in US or Greece or any other country. We are not greedy. But everyone should understand this procedure is only the beginning. After childbirth costs grow along with child. So why pay more? This clinic proposes same services for lower price. What was the major factor which convinced us? There were a couple of factors actually. But when we came to the clinic for the first time, we saw many people there. I should say we didn’t expect this at all. I never thought Ukraine is that popular. And since that moment I had a feeling that everything will be fine. Not for nothing people go there! First I was sceptical I guess. I thought their medicine stuck in the past. But after looking at the clinic and their modern equipment I changed my mind. You don’t have to hire a translator! The clinic have already took care about everything! We were met in the airport by taxi driver, who was carrying us across Kiev by his car. He was transporting us to the clinic and our apartment, which was also provided by the clinic. We had a manager and she translated everything for us. She spoke language fluently, so there were no misunderstandings. They even provided us with food supply. The only thing which we cared about was the procedure.


#7

I forgot to tell abour prices and packages. We chose package called ‘Guaranteed success’ for €9 900. This package includes 5 attempts. Also the clinic has package for €4 900, which includes 1 attempt. One more package for €6 900 and it includes 2 tries of de ivf. There is also a package with transfer from donation to surrogacy. I might miss something… All terms and conditions you may find on their website.


#8

haileYhi, everything sounds good! It’s nice the clinic found translator and housing for you! I didn’t know clinics provide such services. Did you hire taxi by yourself or it’s also the clinic’s service? I really had no idea how to find all this by myself. It’s seems impossible to organize all this without knowing language. I understand these services are not for free. The clinic counted each detail so foreign patients will be in absolute comfort in another country. How much did this services cost? Was there some additional fees? I’ve read some clinics start to pull more money after signing a contract. And what can we do in such situation? We pay, because process has started already. How do they choose egg donors? How can you be sure they are healthy? Did you choose donor by yourself? I watch some videos about unhealthy egg donors. Some clinics don’t make tests so baby may be born with genetic diseases. This scared me to death! I don’t want my child suffer physically and mentally from bullying and reproaches.


#9

Mellany, there is no need to look for such services by yourself. The clinic has already counted such details. It considered everything which related with comfort of foreign patients. Those services were already included into our package. We didn’t pay some extra fees not a single time. The clinic has 3 packages in general. We chose ‘Guaranteed success’ for €9 900. There were also packages with one or two attempts of de ivf. They costed less. You can see all services and prices on their website. I don’t remember all details. We had 5 attempts. In case of failure of all tries, the clinic gives money back. So there was no risk for us. That’s why we chose exactly this package. I’ve got pregnant from second attempt. I can freely talk about this with you! So please ask whatever you need. We didn’t pay all sum at once! I think it’s too risky to do so. We don’t know what will happen tomorrow. So it will be stupid to pay all sum right away! The payment was divided into 2 parts. We paid €4500 after we signed contract during our first visit. On the day of the first embryo transfer we paid second half. We were never asked to pay some additional charges. You can’t choose donor by yourself. We were told that contact of clients with donor is prohibited by law. But we had an opportunity to provide desired phenotype. We sent information about the desirable characteristics of the donor to the clinic. We indicated height, weight, hair color, eyes color, nose, face and lips shape. Generally saying, all features we needed. Then the clinic found three donors corresponding to our phenotypes and sent us info about them. And then we chose the one, who suited us the most. Speaking about egg donors and their health. All requirements to donors were specified in the package we’ve chosen. First requirement is age of donor. All their donors are 18 – 25 years old. Second requirement is perfect physical and mental health. And third requirement is absence of genetic diseases in the donor and her family. So we were absolutely sure in health of our donor.


#10

Thank you for so detailed answer! I’ll definitely visit their website. I understand that you don’t know every single detail about all packages. I’m glad to hear that the clinic checks both donors and their families’ health. The possibility that child will have genetic disease is very low. How much time did you visit the clinic? And what was with transportation and housing? I mean the clinic provides all these services during first visit. But what with other times? What about medical tests and ultrasounds? Did you have to do them each time in biotexcom? I’m asking all this because I want to count all spendings. Or at least an approximate sum) Tickets are not cheap too. That’s why I need to know how much we’ll need for this procedure in Ukraine.


#11

You’re absolutely right! There is no spare cash. We made ultrasounds and tests at our local clinic. Then we’ve just sent all results to our program coordinator by mail. So there was no extra waste of money. We had three visits in a framework of our procedure. The clinic provided us with taxi and accommodation during all our visits. By the way, we were provided with food supply too. And again all these services were already included into our package. We didn’t pay additional charges. Our doctor assigned the treatment plan for us. Also she gave us all needed instructions. The first attendance lasted 2 days. During this visit we had medical examination. Also we were provided with information about the program, organizational and medical parts and terms of the contract. Our second and third visits lasted for 6 days. We had sperm pick-up, fertilization of donor’s eggs and embryo transfer.


#12

Thank you so much for help! You’ve answered all my questions and gave me lots of knowledge in this sphere! I’m very grateful for your support. I hope I didn’t bother you too much) I’ll definitely consider everything you’ve told. I’ll talk to my husband about this clinic. I think it’s a very good option for us. We’ll contact the clinic and will see, what to do next. Thanks a lot!


#13

You’re welcome! You didn’t bother me at all. I’m always ready to help. If you have more questions, please feel free to ask. I remember when I was in my search. I’m grateful to women, who underwent the procedure. They helped me to find reliable clinic. So now it’s my turn to help) I wish you all the best! Good luck!


#14

My dh and I were ttc for a very long time. I’ve got pregnant in 2009 and we thought that finally our prayers were heard. Unfortunately my pregnancy ended with a miscarriage. We’ve lost our son and it was shocking for whole our family. I couldn’t get back to life for a long time. I’m glad I have my dh. He gave me support I needed the most. We wanted to have kids so much, it was our only dream. Living childless life wasn’t a variant for us.

We were thinking about adoption at first. But we wanted our child to be genetically related to our family. Still I had some doubts. My dh looked at this procedure positively. It would be his child anyway. I thought I would be just some woman, who will carry a baby. I have a fear, that everyone will notice it’s not mine. I thought it will be obvious and people will talk about it… Also I watched a tv show about de ivf. Some children started to look for women, who shared eggs with these kids’ mothers. That was so sad. Those mothers didn’t deserve such attitude. They made everything possible their children to have all they need and even more. And here is gratitude. But as this procedure was our only solution of our problem, I made a decision to do it.

I should say de ivf is a very good option. I had this procedure in 2014. I’ve got pregnant from first attempt. We were on seventh heaven! Our girls were born in May 2015. We’ve just celebrated their first birthday. We used Ukrainian clinic BioTexCom. We are happy parents now! I have no regrets. As soon as I knew I’m pregnant all doubts were wiped out. We decided not to tell our daughters we used donor eggs. I think children’ mind is not ready for such info. This fact will change nothing for them. The most important is to give them love and care. I consider myself as their only mother. This is everything they need to know.