Just blah......feeling sad


#1

I am going through my first cycle of IVF and my blood test is this Sat. I have just been trying to keep it together the best that I can, but that’s easier said than done. My husband and I had two unsuccessful IUI procedures and because I am 35, we decided to move on to IVF. Up until this point, our infertility issues were unexplained, even though I had been diagnosed with endometriosis at 30. I had every test that needed to be done completed and the doctors said I looked fine. At my egg retrieval, they were able to get 14 eggs, and we were really pleased, as my RE said anything over 10 was pretty good. Imagine my shock when we went in for the transfer on day 3 and my RE told us I only had 3 embryos (2-4cell and 1-3cell) which are not high quality and that they were pretty sure that none of the rest would make it(which they didn’t), as my egg quality was poor, probably due to the endometriosis. I also got a pretty bad case of OHSS after my egg retrieval that really escalated after the transfer. However, my OHSS symptoms are pretty much gone and even though I was miserable, I heard from my RE and read that having OHSS is a good sign of pregnancy and that if it goes away, that usually means you are not pregnant. So, now I’m at this point where I am just feeling a bit hopeless. I am trying not to be negative about it, but it’s just so hard when we weren’t given that great of chance from the get go. I don’t want to talk to anyone or really be around anyone except for my husband until after our blood test, because no one really understands what we are going through. I guess I am just looking for some words of encouragment from people who actually do understand what I am going through because they have experienced it too. Thanks y’all :slight_smile:


#2

You can still try again, as long as we believe…nothing is impossible, right?! Everything is gonna be ok…


#3

Hearing stories like yours is one of the reasons that my wife sometimes thinks it would be better for us to just skip all the infertility treatments and interventions. These things just seem to get your hopes up and let them come crashing down. I’m not sure we want to be on that roller coaster of emotions. But we both still want to have our own child and it has been frustrating that we have been unable to do that. There are days when we both just get so depressed, especially after family gatherings and reunions at school. We see all our relatives and friends have kids like it is no big deal, and here we are unable to do that. It is good that I can come to these boards and commiserate with other people. It can be really tough when you are feeling - as you said - blah.


#4

Praying for you. Just have faith and believe


#5

[QUOTE=meldmax]I am going through my first cycle of IVF and my blood test is this Sat. I have just been trying to keep it together the best that I can, but that’s easier said than done. My husband and I had two unsuccessful IUI procedures and because I am 35, we decided to move on to IVF. Up until this point, our infertility issues were unexplained, even though I had been diagnosed with endometriosis at 30. I had every test that needed to be done completed and the doctors said I looked fine. At my egg retrieval, they were able to get 14 eggs, and we were really pleased, as my RE said anything over 10 was pretty good. Imagine my shock when we went in for the transfer on day 3 and my RE told us I only had 3 embryos (2-4cell and 1-3cell) which are not high quality and that they were pretty sure that none of the rest would make it(which they
didn’t), as my egg quality was poor, probably due to the endometriosis. I also got a pretty bad case of OHSS after my egg retrieval that really escalated after the transfer. However, my OHSS symptoms are pretty much gone and even though I was miserable, I heard from my RE and read that having OHSS is a good sign of pregnancy and that if it goes away, that usually means you are not pregnant. So, now I’m at this point where I am just feeling a bit hopeless. I am trying not to be negative about it, but it’s just so hard when we weren’t given that great of chance from the get go. I don’t want to talk to anyone or really be around anyone except for my husband until after our blood test, because no one really understands what we are going through. I guess I am just looking for some words of encouragment from people who actually do understand what I am going through because they have experienced it
too. Thanks y’all :)[/QUOTE]

Big hug sweetie!!! Ivf is a long road in general and very disheartening at times. Dont lose hope. I know i felt just awful after my first failed ivf, but a close friend of mine who did ivf many times told me to just keep trying. That is how ivf works she said. She now has 4 ivf babies. Its the nature of trying to find a good quality egg…you have to keep scooping into the cherry jar to spoon out cherries. Many will be smashed…but there could be a perfect one in one of the scoops…thats what you are looking for.

You are now part of an elite group of infertiliy warriors. There are very remarkable ladies on here who are battling. You will get pregnant…adjust your helmet and keep fighting. We are all here for you!!! :grouphug: :flower:


#6

HI Meldmax…
I can completely relate to your story-- My first IVF try had to be stopped due to the high risk of OHSS as a result of too high a dosage of stims. I recall feeling miserable- my ovaries felt like golfballs, so heavy, sore when going over bumps in the car etc- I remember going into my RE on Friday and she had said I was progressing well but that my eggs would have to double in size! I nearly broke down right there and then as I could not understand how I was going to take it!!! Low and behold I got a call from the RE that day to say they had to cancel the cycle… I was devastated!!! It took me a couple of days but I picked myself back up and thought there must have been a reason for all of this.

45 days later of waiting for :af: and being completely unaware of my chances for my next attempt as well as extremely bloated and uncomfortable I eventually reached Day 1 of my cycle…
As you can see from below I am now on my 2ww and trying to stay positive-- I suppose what I am trying to say is that as hard as this process is with the meds, physical and emotional strain all of that will be forgotten with a :bfp: …

Best of luck on your journey and please let us know how you do…