Just Starting the Process


#1

Hello everyone. After reading previous postings, I found it comforting to realize that I am not the only one going through this. My husband and I have experienced 1 ovarian ectopic, 1 blighted ovum (miscarriage) and a ruptured corneum ectopic. My right fallopian was taken after the last ectopic. We waited a whole year before thinking about seeing a specialist. I am in the Army and the process to seek out Infertility help is a rather long and complicated one. We have to go through referrals and be extremely patient. I was diagnosed with PCOS on top of my tubal disease at the first appointment. HSG showed a blocked right fallopian…which bummer for us…we were really hoping that it was still good. Clomid challenge turned out well…aside from my PCOS and my tubal disease…both my husband and I are pretty healthy. Follow up appointment was last Wednesday and it was confirmed that IVF is definitely my only choice. Guess how long the waiting list for IVF? 1 long year :grr:

I am sooo frustrated and sad and just desperate! I don’t understand sometimes why i have to go through this. My best friend is pregnant and having a great ol’ time. I am dragged into baby showers and babys r us…and I find myself so angry inside. I hate that i feel so envious and so sad. I have been slowly distancing myself from her…avoiding phone calls…because I just don’t want to hear about it. In the midst of being poked and prodded…the last thing I want to hear about is how much her baby is kicking. I am such an *******!!!

With that said…I’m desperate to get the ball rolling. We are thinking about seeking IVF help from a civilian facility. IVF treatments are a huge financial responsibility…of which I am willing to take…but I’M SCARED! I don’t want to face another disappointment. I don’t think my heart can take it.

All I have is a prayer.

BTW…thanks for listening!


#2

I’m so sorry about what you are going through! I completely understand, though, as do probably most of the women on this forum.
Why do they say IVF is your only option? Is your left tube damaged/blocked also? As you can see from my siggy, I only have one tube as well, and my RE said that IVF is our best choice, but definately not our only choice. We are doing Follistim right now to try to get more follies to grow on my good side.
If you are considering going to a different facility for treatment, why not get a second opinion? There are so many options available to infertile couples without having to jump to IVF if you’re not ready.
As for your pregnant friend, I understand how you’re feeling. My SIL is preggo and I couldn’t even talk to her for weeks after she told us because I was so angry that we have been trying for so long and they get pregnant as soon as they start trying. Hell, I’m STILL angry! I’m just hiding it a bit better, but every time she sends a “pregnancy milestone” text I scowl at my phone. It sucks to feel that way because I’m not a mean or bitter person, but this journey HURTS and we need to feel what we’re feeling so that we can move past it.

Good luck with whatever decision you make and know that there are people who you can turn to that will listen and understand you.