Long ttc, I'm tired(


#21

[QUOTE=“Gwineth, post: 1870525, member: 87471”]you are soon to see her again right? it’s 31 week that means that your precious baby is almost here with us. :slight_smile:
I am due to the end of the summer so there’s some time to wait still but I guess I am almost there too.
Have you been to your clinic? when is your SM going to the maternity hospital?[/QUOTE]

last week she went to maternity house and be there untill the end of July when the birth is supposed to be. I have two months to be prepared!
I’m going to come there in a month, I guess…but don’t know for sure. I’ll ask my manager how ealry I need to come. Happy but scary!


#22

Oh that’s cool! Congratulations!
Oh I do not know really know when you should come there but make sure that it is not too late or too early even. Your manager will be telling you when you should be there but it is better to make sure
Good luck!


#23

[QUOTE=“Gwineth, post: 1870546, member: 87471”]Oh that’s cool! Congratulations!
Oh I do not know really know when you should come there but make sure that it is not too late or too early even. Your manager will be telling you when you should be there but it is better to make sure
Good luck![/QUOTE]
Thanks! I’ll find out about arrival! I want to be present on labour, I want to be sure that everything’s fine with my twins. In addition, There we will need to clear up some legal issues.
P.S. please,don’t be offended, I’m so sorry but at one point I lost your story. remind me please where are you in your treatment?


#24

IS that even possible? to be present on the labour? It is supposed to be a very private moment and is it ok? I think that you should trust your doctors more with this…
I am expecting a baby! That’s fine, there are a lot of people and no one is expected to be aware of others’ progress. :slight_smile:
xx


#25

Well yeah! I mean I want to be near the room when the labour starts. I want to be with them on there first minutes of life. I want them to see me, there mom.
that’s wonderful! how is your pregnancy going? I hope everything’s fine?


#26

Being present at the labours is very contradicting thing. I’m waiting for my surrogate to deliver a baby for us, but I doubt I would want to see my baby being born. You know the thing is that the doctors might allow you to be there… but you must be absolutely convinced that you would help being present there… or at least won’t do any harm… I mean those people who chose to witness such a process more often just make the mother feel more nervous instead of reassuring her and making her feeling calm and peaceful… and thinking about what’s going on with her and not being distracted with the strange person in the room that is about to faint :slight_smile: or something like that… I know that is mostly about men’s behavour while watching the wive’s labours … a woman would cope with the emotions much better in the case… but still you might think twice here…


#27

[QUOTE=“kellysweet, post: 1870563, member: 87564”]Being present at the labours is very contradicting thing. I’m waiting for my surrogate to deliver a baby for us, but I doubt I would want to see my baby being born. You know the thing is that the doctors might allow you to be there… but you must be absolutely convinced that you would help being present there… or at least won’t do any harm… I mean those people who chose to witness such a process more often just make the mother feel more nervous instead of reassuring her and making her feeling calm and peaceful… and thinking about what’s going on with her and not being distracted with the strange person in the room that is about to faint :slight_smile: or something like that… I know that is mostly about men’s behavour while watching the wive’s labours … a woman would cope with the emotions much better in the case… but still you might think twice here…[/QUOTE]

I didn’t think about it by the surrogate mother’s side…Maybe you are right…I definetely want to be present, because she will give birth to twins and it means it has more risks, but I’ll ask the doctors and most important I’ll ask our SM. But I don’t think she would be against us. Anyway I want to be just near the labour room, not inside.
When will be your due date?


#28

That’s not about whether your sm or the doctor against your presence or not… I meant you might be absolutely sure you would cope with the emotions youself and wouldn’t have any negative influence on the whole process… Anyway think twice here…
As for our pregnancy we’ve just got our 21 week scan and are soooo excited …That’s the mid-pregnancy scan and we could easily get the information on any abnomalities that might exist… We were happily explained we don’t have any of them …The picture is sooo cute… I’m the happiest mother in the world…And we made sure all the babies organs and limbs etc are developing as they should… :slight_smile:


#29

Well, that’s not a problem at all! I can cope with my feelings and emotions! I waited so long and that exhausting fight with infertility made me strong! So now I won’t miss any moment with my babies. I’m ready to everything! I’m ready to be a mother!

Good news, hun! I’m happy for you! the first half has passed successfully! now it is time for the next 20 weeks. I wish you patience and happy waiting!


#30

[QUOTE=“kellysweet, post: 1870565, member: 87564”]That’s not about whether your sm or the doctor against your presence or not… I meant you might be absolutely sure you would cope with the emotions youself and wouldn’t have any negative influence on the whole process… Anyway think twice here…
As for our pregnancy we’ve just got our 21 week scan and are soooo excited …That’s the mid-pregnancy scan and we could easily get the information on any abnomalities that might exist… We were happily explained we don’t have any of them …The picture is sooo cute… I’m the happiest mother in the world…And we made sure all the babies organs and limbs etc are developing as they should… :)[/QUOTE]
wow, I’ve just noticed your reply here. My congrats dear, your 21 week scan, Gosh, it means you have passed a half of your journey. Lucky you!!! we’ve just started our program and got the confirmation from the clinic. Probably you didn’t read my post, in short my surro is pregnant and we are waiting for the scan.
By the way do your surrogate has one or two babies? Do you know the gender? Will you have a chance to choose the gender as well?
Sorry if I ask too much questions, it’s my first time though ( I mean a surrogacy)


#31

[QUOTE=“Am_elia, post: 1870556, member: 87506”]Well yeah! I mean I want to be near the room when the labour starts. I want to be with them on there first minutes of life. I want them to see me, there mom.
that’s wonderful! how is your pregnancy going? I hope everything’s fine?[/QUOTE]
Sorry it seems like I completely ignored your comment, but I really forgot that I did not reply to you, as I was 100 percent sure that I did write something here…

Well, anyways, I think that this is better than I thought, because I definitely imagined you standing near your SM and watching her giving birth. But it is your right to be near your surrogate mother and get to your child as quickly as possible.

I am fine! I am anticipating the date of my labor. It is so exciting! :smiley:

xoxox


#32

I’m so sorry you have been thought this. I know how it hurts as I have faced fertility issues too. I’m not able to give a birth to a child due to many abortions. You will say how it could be? Yes, i was really stupid and I didn’t pay attention to my mom’s words. I had my first abortion when i was only 15. I felt in love with one nice boy( as i thought at that time) Unfortunately he has left me as he got to know I was pregnant. My mom has forced me to do an abortion and I supposed it was right. After that I did it 3 more times. I believed it would not cause any harm to my health, I was listen to my mom and that played a bad game to me. I’ve lost a chance to conceive naturally. I had to move to another country to forged everything what I’ve done before. At new place i met a nice guy and we got married but he wants to have kids. I don’t know how to tell him that I’m not able to do it. I really didn’t want him to know everything… So I decided to gather some information about surrogacy in order to have a baby via it. Hope one day my husband will understand me…


#33

Learn that you should not despair. Giving up is one thing that will bring you close to your failure. Keep on trying. Your family is saying all that because thy have never been through your road before. It is okay for them to discourage you. They don’t know the pain one faces when undergoing infertility. But what shall remain us how you deal with that. Are you going to listen to them and remain infertile for the rest of your life? Or are you going to search your own happiness. The decision lies entirely in your hands. I remember my family members also told me the same thing. But I wanted a family of my ion. That’s why I had to go to Bio tex in Kiev for a child. And I can tell you there is no greater feeling like being a mother. I did it through surrogacy and saw nothing bad. So all those fake stories your family is feeding you is to discourage you. I hope you will make a wise decision.


#34

Learn that you should not despair. Giving up is one thing that will bring you close to your failure. Keep on trying. Your family is saying all that because thy have never been through your road before. It is okay for them to discourage you. They don’t know the pain one faces when undergoing infertility. But what shall remain us how you deal with that. Are you going to listen to them and remain infertile for the rest of your life? Or are you going to search your own happiness. The decision lies entirely in your hands. I remember my family members also told me the same thing. But I wanted a family of my ion. That’s why I had to go to Bio tex in Kiev for a child. I found about them here


. And I can tell you there is no greater feeling like being a mother. I did it through surrogacy and saw nothing bad. So all those fake stories your family is feeding you is to discourage you. I hope you will make a wise decision.

#35

Hello dear! I think you made the right thing that you came here. I have same thoughts on my mind. I’m so tired because of infertility. I know exactly how you feel. I should say this is really hard not to give up and just accept the situation. But when I think that I should accept childless life it makes me even more depressed. It seems like nothing can help and I will always be miserable. I was trying so hard to distract myself but nothing worked. I think about children 24/7. I think about my infertility, about my kidney disease, about my relationship with my husband. Even when I go out with friends or spend time with my family and relatives or watch TV or work I think about that stuff. I know exactly what you’re talking about when you say you want to change how people think about you. I’m 47 and I have no children. Everyone around me had already become parents and grandparents. When I meet old friends of course the first question they ask is about children. At such moments I just want to disappear. I understand that this is not important what other people think about us. Everyone should mind their own business. We should always think about ourselves and what we think about our lives. But sometimes I just can’t stop analyzing how people think about me. I am so afraid that someone will judge me or discuss me and my childless life behind my back. Recently I met one of my old friends and she was with her kids. Obviously she asked me if I have children. When I told her that I’m thinking about using the services of surrogate mother, she just smiled and told me this is too late. And then she told our common friends about my surrogacy because when I met the other friend she asked me if this is true. To be honest I was shocked. I regret it I told about my surrogacy to someone who means nothing for me and who knows nothing about my life. One part of me understands that people going to judge you no matter what. So we should do everything what we think is right for us. The other part of me feels so vulnerable. This situation made me feel depressed. I don’t want people to think about me in a bad way. I feel like I want to justify myself. Why I should feel this way? Those people will never understand how I feel and why I made my choice. Despite of the whole situation I decided to keep going no matter what. Surrogacy seems a very great opportunity for us. I won’t let anyone to destroy my happiness.


#36

Sorry to hear all this, honey. I’m so sad about it. A lot of researches were done on the point of self education, so that I can share loads of things I was concerned about when learning about surrogacy. First we looked onto the UK. The birth mother there is the legal mother irrespective of the conception method and genetic make-up of the baby. The surrogate’s husband if married is considered the legal father and neither can surrender parental duties. If the surrogate has no partner or they are unmarried and not in a civil partnership, the child will have no legal father. Another thing – The Parental Orders – This allows intended parents the opportunity to become the child’s legal parents. The following criteria must be met in order to apply for a Parental Order: Over 18. Commissioning parent must be resident in UK. At least one of the applicants must be genetically related to the child. Apply after 6 weeks of birth and before 6 months. The surrogate parents must consent to the making of the order. No money other than expenses must have been paid in respect of the surrogacy arrangement. The child must reside with the commissioning parent under English law once the Parental Order is granted the intended parents will receive a new birth certificate stating that they are the legal parents of the child. This shows the matters with long lasting paper work and other procedures you’ve written about. I’m going to continue with the next post


#37

There are many reasons why more and more IP are moving to eastern Europe to seek surrogacy luck. Their law seems to be more stable and favourable to IP more than to surrogates. Firstly, this is the low cost of surrogate pregnancy. Would-be parents from nearby west European countries including the UK and from as far as Australia and the USA are seeking surrogacy there for this very reason. The process is well regulated. Only women who have given birth before are qualified to become surrogate mothers. Agencies/clinics usually don’t accept surrogates who drink, smoke or take drugs and that’s obvious. Typical surrogate moms are between 20 and 40 yrs. IP are usually given several profiles they can choose from. Before going straight for pregnancy a surrogate has to undergo extensive medical testing. Usually these are gynecological examinations, blood tests, and screening for various sexually-transmitted diseases among many others. She also has to go through psychological screening to make sure she’s mentally healthy. Usually a surrogate is given continual counseling along with the parents. In countries where commercial surrogacy is legal like Ukraine a surrogate will have zero parental rights over the child. It may only require some paperwork so that you can be legally named parents of the child. All you need to worry about is acquiring an exit visa for the child. Before going into the actual process with a clinic make sure your agency/clinic performs regular checks and ‘home visits’ on the surrogate since you can’t be there physically to do it on your own. For those countries that allow surrogacy, the laws typically give all parental rights to the surrogate until a court process transfers the rights from her to the IP. In these countries the surrogate has the right to keep the baby if she chooses.But this is not the case with surrogacy in Ukraine.


#38

Will finally end with the following. Friends of mine are through surrogacy with Ukrainian clinic. From what I’ve heard they’ve never been near the hassle. Of course this doesn’t show the clinic has this route perfect for every couple, but I think guys know what they are aimed at. They all worked on the priceless…And achieved success. This decision is very personal though.


#39

I also have fertility issue. I even don’t know what is the reason for my infertility. I went to a number of clinics regarding fertility. They don’t even know the reason behind this.
I am tired now of going to different clinics. I have been TTC from last 10 years. Now i have decided to go for surrogacy as a ultimate resort. I live in Bulgaria surrogacy is ban here. So i will have to move to anoother state to have a baby via surrogacy. I have heard there are many good clinics for surrogacy in Ukraine. I will surely now move to Ukraine for surrogacy. My husband is also with me. As we have been waiting too long for baby. He is super excited about our start. I hope everything goes well. I am also that finally we will have a baby. Someone has some experience about surrogacy??
Do let me know if you have.


#40

Hey there. How are you doing? I hope its all great. I am really sorry to hear about your situation. I wish things get good for you. i wish you goo luck. Take care.