Looking for advice & info on DS process


Hello. I’m not single but thought I might get some helpful info here. I’m hoping that someone who has undergone the donor sperm process would be so kind as to answer some questions for me. The DH and I are cautiously exploring the process.

Is there a recommended donor bank that many here have used and been happy with?

Those of you who have had a child via DS, how have you dealt with informing your child about it? How have they handled it?

Any other info/suggestions welcomed. I’m finding this decision to be incredibly difficult. I want a family but fear any challenges that may come along with DS.



I used Xytex which has been around for many years! I had excellent quality and counts and highly recommend them to anyone needing to use the DS route.

There are other banks out there, Calif. Cryobank and Fairfax. I know a few people that liked Fairfax, but also know some with awful counts/quality.

I think using DS is not really an issue. If you are choosing to tell your child, you simply say that you needed a ‘helper’ because you wanted them so much and are so happy you could find a helper to bring them into your life. I think there are even some very simply written children’s books that address the issue in this type of manner as well.

Hope this helps you some! I have been on the forums for a long time, and know many couples that made the decision to use DS, and have their children now. Good Luck! I know there are other threads out there on the forum with similar discussions from a while back.



I just saw your post and thought I might be able to help. As you can see by my signature I have been trying for awhile and have been using donor sperm. I used Fairfax Cryobank. What I liked about Fairfax is that the made the donor profiles, which included medical info, available for free. You could also download baby pictures for a $5 fee. However, as Godiva mentioned, I had several samples with questionable counts. Most of the time they would refund the cost of the sample but not the shipping which could run $150-$200 dollars. My last sample had low counts which required me to be converted to ICSI for my IVF cycle. This added $2500 out of pocket expense for me. They also will not refund any money since I had a positive beta test and am pregnant (although it could be a chemical pregnancy).

There are lots of other banks out there. Many will match your husband’s pictures with available donors. There are lots of people who have to use donor sperm or donor embryos in their quest to have a baby. But, it isn’t for everyone and only you and your husband can decide that. Many couple choose not to tell that donor anything was used.

I look at using donor sperm as like adopting. If I adopted a baby, I would not know anything about the biological parents and so by using donor sperm I sort of adopted half of a baby.

I am not sure if I helped or not. But, there are threads on here about couples that used donor sperm that may help.

Good luck to you!!


I used Xytex. and i would never use any other bank. Even tho i had to pay to see all the pictures and full profiles it was WELL worth it. They had donors that had child AND adult pictures. Had i not seen the adult pics, i would have went with a donor who was an adorable baby, but a very ugly man. lol. They even have a Photospan option that some donors use. it has photos of the donor at different ages. our counts were good, you can see in my siggy. those numbers are AFTER the thaw at the dr’s office. Good luck!


Just wanted to add that my embryos were all top quality and I have gotten pregnant each cycle. Sadly I had 3 m/c due to other blood issues I wasn’t aware of that I had.

Xytex lets you look at alot of info. for free, and I opted to pay extra to see photos. I haven’t been to their website in quite a while, but it was easy to navigate and use. I found their prices to be reasonable as well. My RE likes working with them. You may also want to ask your RE to give you names of 3 sperm banks they have had good specimens from in the past.

Again, Good Luck, and it would be super if you update once you make some decisions. Always good to hear updates! :slight_smile:

13charm- TOY and hope all goes well for tomorrow’s test! I’m happy to hear Fairfax credited you a bit of a refund.


I’m using Fairfax. My primary reason for choosing them is the ID option program. I wanted to give my child the option of finding out about their biological father if they wanted. Fairfax’s ID program is completely optional for the donors and they get no additional pay for participating. This says to me that those who participate would likely be open to some type of future communication. Unlike some other similar programs, Fairfax releases the donors name, DOB, last known address, phone number, email and any other identifying info they may have by request of the child once they reach 18 years old. I believe for me that this is vitally important. I also found that Fairfax had a decent selection and high quality donors. I’ve only done one IUI so far but had good numbers as you can see by my siggy.

I would also recommend that you ask your doctor which banks they prefer and why. Also, there is a donor use board on the IUI forum. Just click on “infertility treatments” above then click “intrauterine insemination”. Under that forum you will find a donor group. GL and :babydust: :bsv: To you!