Losing Friends?


Anyone else afraid they are losing their friends since losing their baby?

I was out with a girlfriend last night that I have know for over 25 years. We have been best of friends even in different countries, tons of relationships, sickness, deaths and celebrations. But last month she let me know that she is pregnant. I am truly happy for her, but can’t act happy for her without feeling fake.

I know she understand, and I know she feels for me, but I just don’t know how to be with her. How do I talk happy baby talk? How do I talk about baby names? How do I act happy when I want this so badly for myself.

So I broke down today thinking that I am going to lose a friend I have know for so long, because of me.


If you’ve been friends for this long, you’ll make it through this, too. I think you should be honest with your friend and let her know that, although you’re trying to be happy for her, it’s causing you some pain. Hopefully, your friend will understand and be sympathetic. My fertile friends were.



Its not you its me!

The problem is not my friend, she did nothing wrong in getting pregnant. The problem is me! The problem is I have to learn how to be with her. That is the most depressing part, knowing that I am losing my friends and it is all my fault!


I still think you should tell her how you are feeling. Maybe you need time away from her right now for your own sanity. But this doesn’t have to mean losing your friend forever. It just means that right now it’s hard for you to deal with someone else’s happiness over their pregnancy. I think it would the worst if you backed away from her with no explanation after all you say you’ve been through.



I’m so sorry that you’re feeling upset and sad. I know you want to be happy for her but it’s really hard. You wonder if this will ever happen for you or why is it so hard for you to conceive while it’s a piece of cake for others. I think all of us on here understand what you’re going through.

I agree with the comment above. Be honest with your friend and she will appreciate that more then not hearing from you anymore. I’m sure she will understand because she personally told you instead of you hearing it from the grapevine. Even though she didn’t have to go through what we are all going through, I’m sure you would want her to enjoy her pregnancy as well. You are concerned about your friend, that’s why you posted this question.

It’s been hard for me too. We were the first ones to get married but seems like will be the last ones to conceive. It’s tough. I know. I’m sorry but try to hang in there and one day, it will be our turn.:grouphug:


I do want her to enjoy her pregnancy and that is the other reason I am not sure that she would want me around her. I am afraid I am going to remind her of what could go so horribly wrong. My baby boy was born at 5 and 1/2 months and died soon after birth.