Loss upon loss upon loss.. Gettin me down


Hey Everyone,

So, I’m new here. I’ve had a lot of loss and it’s finally really catching up with me.

2008: I got pregnant and had a miscarriage. It was really messy and traumatic. :wings:

2009: my mom was diagnosed with cancer.

February, March and April of 2010: three failed IUIs :bfn: :bfn: :bfn:

June 2011: my mom died. :wings:

May 2012: IVF cycle with fresh transfer :bfn:

May 2012: my dad is diagnosed with cancer (recurring after seven years)

July 2012: my dad dies

In our second and third IVF cycle we made four embryos, which are now frozen, and I have a FET on October 22.

I just… am tired. So much loss after loss after loss. I am not sure what to do or say, because I’m not sure there is anything to do or say. I just keep going forward because that’s all there is to do.

I am scared to defrost the embryos. I am scared that if I get pregnant I’ll have another miscarriage. Part of me feels like as long as the embryos are frozen, they are safe

But it really hurts. I need to see my family grow and not just continue to die away.

I haven’t really shared this with anyone. Thanks for listening!



i was just reading your post here you poor thing… stay strong sweet heart you have been through so much but it will make you more stronger… stay postivie its always darkest before the dawn xxxxx
praying for you and your family :grouphug:


I wished I had the words to say to make it all go away and be better, but sadly I don’t.

I really don’t think anyone does. But, know this, You’re not alone. :flower:

I lost my mother in 2004 to terminal cancer and it was one of the hardest obstacles I faced. Earlier this year my husband and I lost our son. I understand your pain, your fears, and your worries.

The pain will not go away, but with time it will get easier to manage.

My heart pours out for you and you will be in my thoughts and :pray: . You’ve come to a great community thats just outpouring with support and warm embraces.

We’re all here for you!



thank you for your post. The way you said what you told us all, it really affects me. Especially the part about how you haven’t really told nayone. I have also suffered loss, but am not ready to talk or write about it. But I just wanted to say something here- I think what I want t o say is that I hope you will see how much you have helped me without even trying. Please try to find peace in your heart and know that you are not alone!


Thanks for the nice post…


Late response

Sometimes it is very hard to see God doing good behind the bad. Or to stay ok in His plan. Going through similar things and can sympathize. For sure this forum is proof that there is support. Prayers for you. Stay positive and know there is always a bigger plan.


Merry Christmas guys :slight_smile:


Hey. I am so sorry for your losses. So sad to hear about your losses. It was in fate. Nobody can change it. Something good is waiting for you just don’t lose hope. I had Cervix Incompetence disease and then I came to know that I am facing infertility. I was so devastated and depressed. I was so upset that I thought that I can never be a mother. One of my friend suggested that you should go for surrogacy.I discussed with my husband. We both were agreed because we really wished to become parents. We went to the suggested clinic .We told them our complications on Email. So we went there and they already found surrogate for us. She was matched with our requirements. I was happy with all the things that were going on. She gave birth to a baby girl that belonged genetically to me. I never thought of becoming mother but Surrogacy gave me a hope. I am enjoying motherhood now. I hope things will go right in your way. Stay blessed.