Lost and need some direction


#1

I never imagined I wouldn’t have a family and I don’t know how to deal with this. Its been over 3,years of ttc naturally and nothing. I havent seen a specialist yet because its so expensive and im scarred of the emotional rollercoaster.
It’s getting so bad I’m thinking of leaving my husband. I have a 3 year old stepdaughter so every other weekend I see how happy my husband is with her, how much he loves her, and it’s a constant reminder of what i may never have. It kills me.
I cry when I see babies, I cry when my friends get pregnant and I can’t help feel like I’m being punished for something or like maybe I don’t deserve to have a baby.
My husband doesn’t care to have another baby as he is perfectly happy with his 1 child. I feel alone with no one to talk to so I joined this group. I just need to get these feelings off my chest.
I want to be with someone who wants a family with as bad as I do. Not someone who could care less if we never have kids. Am I being too sensitive?
Thank you


#2

You are definitely not being too sensitive. This whole situation is the absolute right time for sensitivity. This hurts! And
I know where you’re coming from. I would have to say my husband doesn’t have much feeling on the subject of children, if anything at all I think he leans against. He is only going through this journey with me because it was a stipulation of our being together. I always wanted children and he didn’t, but he agreed that if we could afford it I was able to try whatever means necessary to have a child. I would love to have a husband who was fully excited and involved, but I don’t. I have a husband who loves me so much that he goes against his own wants and needs just to see me happy. He is not always the most hands on, I am the force behind this next step in our lives, but he does what he can. I have to accept that he feels the way he feels, as long as he doesn’t stand against me I will deal with the fact that he doesn’t want children like I do.
I know all of our situations are different, but I hope that you two are able to come to an amicable solution.
IF: what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger…I hope.


#3

I’m so sorry for what you’re feeling and going through! I can relate to the feelings of hopelessness after ttc for so long. I’m also sorry that your DH isn’t as involved or even wanting another child as much as you want one. That’s the one thing I have to say about my DH. I don’t know how I could go through all of this without him. While he doesn’t always understand everything I’m feeling or going through, since it’s not happening to his body, he really tries to be supportive and is with me every step of the way. It would be really difficult to go through these procedures without him being completely on board with all of it. And, while I’m freaking out about how this is never going to work or about how we’re going to afford all of this, he’s right there calmly telling me we’ll get through it. Does your DH really understand how important this is to you? Maybe you can help him to see that you need his support and would like him to be right there with you. Since he has a child already, he may not see what it’s like for you to not have a child of your own. He may need to understand what it’s like to be in your shoes. I hope things get better and that you’re able to make some decisions about your ttc journey. Good luck!!


#4

You are not being too sensitive. This is really hard. And for many men it is hard for them to express how they feel about it. I would suggest that you see a specialist. Generally the appointments and the diagnostic tests are covered by insurance even if treatment is not. At least that way you will know whether there is a medical reason that you haven’t gotten pregnant yet or if you are unexplained. You can then decide how to proceed, but at least you will have all the information.


#5

I agree with FormerJerseyGirl. Don’t completely rule out that you won’t ever have a child before you investigate. It could be something as simple as a small blockage in your fallopian tube, which ends up being flushed out by having an HSG done. Thats exactly what happened to my sister. She tried for 2 years, then when she started going through the testing for infertility, she did the HSG and BAM! She was pregnant that month. Thats not the way it always happens, and I know its hard…but you never know until you try. And most insurances DO cover the diagnostic stuff. Start there and see where it goes.


#6

Feel better already

It’s sup rising how much better one can feel getting these feelings out there. Thanks for your replies and support. I tend to live inside my head, and it’s a good feeling to know I’m not alone. :grouphug:


#7

i know how you feel my fiance has full custody of his son and this woman signed him off all of my friends are getting pregnant with baby 4 or twins that would make 5 so i am on round 2 with the iui’s and i always wonder why this also is happening to me so you are not being to sensitive i thought i was to and the thing i cant stand is when someone asks me if they should keep their baby or get rid of it thats breaks my heart because i have never had that choice keep your head up