Marriage & Infertility Stress


#1

Hello out there - I am struggling with the stress of infertility which is carrying over into our marriage. I knew our infertility issues would be stressful but never seeing an end to this is causing more and more stress with our marriage. We have a good marriage and a good life together, which I do not want to change. Just trying to figure a way to deal with the infertility stress without hurting our marriage. I just seem to be thinking babies non-stop :pray: Anyone have any advice?


#2

[QUOTE=kysweetheart]Hello out there - I am struggling with the stress of infertility which is carrying over into our marriage. I knew our infertility issues would be stressful but never seeing an end to this is causing more and more stress with our marriage. We have a good marriage and a good life together, which I do not want to change. Just trying to figure a way to deal with the infertility stress without hurting our marriage. I just seem to be thinking babies non-stop :pray: Anyone have any advice?[/QUOTE]

Well this was just my experience, but I often would get mad because I felt like DH didn’t think often enough about fertility problems which I then translated into not caring as much as me. This plus the stress of my crazy hormones while on the meds. and the exact timing of when to do everything just made things miserable.

Eventually I just learned to switch off the “thinking about babies 24/7.” I accepted that he would never obsess about it like me, but he cared just as much. We would take the dogs out on long walks, and started biking together, and even had special date nights. Anything you both like doing, do it! And when you’re doing it don’t talk about babies. We would just go out and enjoy each others company, and leave the baby problems put away for a while. It helped us to stay strong and close together.

This helped us anyway. It took me a long while to sort of accept the course of things, and sort of disconnect from my strong desire to have a baby, but we were better for it. I wish you the best of luck! :grouphug:


#3

Thank you “Kekepania” for your words of wisdom. It’s funny how two people who have never met can have the same experiences/feelings as my situation sounds similar to yours. I thank you again and will try to focus on other things. Thank you again for your kind words.


#4

It’s funny that you mentioned this. My DH and I had a long talk last night about this same thing. I was scared it was going to “ruin” us and we are only 2 iui cycles in.

It’s good to get how you feel out there and acknowledge it. Talking through our fears definitely helped the both of us.

You have to try your hardest to turn the 24/7 baby thinking the other way. I’m not saying you have to forget about it all together - but allow yourself an hour a day to obsess and totally overthink everything. We are a bunch of women hyped up on hormones. Of course we are going to think!


#5

Half the reason I joined this site was so that I could have someone to talk to who “got it” as opposed to nagging my DH to listen to me go on and on about baby stuff. I also got tired of talking to family about it when no one had ever gone through it before. My family is all super-fertile so literally everyone was like, “are you doing something wrong?” because they could not comprehend someone with our genes having problems.

You are so welcome for the support. All of us on here have needed at one point or another! :grouphug: :grouphug:


#6

Sent you a private message.


#7

We’ve had a hundred versions of that same discussion. LOL

I really like merebear’s idea of alotting 1 hour per day to obsess…I’m going to give that a try. Right after I catch up on the board. :wink: