Miscarried at 11 weeks! Devasted, Lonely, and losing hope


#1

I’m so utterly sad and confused. I can’t believe I mis-carried. I honestly don’t know how to get through this. I really don’t think it’s ever going to happen for me. I can’t stop crying, no one understands…I’m so sad…


#2

I am so so sorry!

Starbell- I am so so sorry. I am crying right now for you. I can not imagine the pain you are in. I know how hard it is to struggle through infertility, but to miscarry after IVF must be so so difficult. I am praying right now for you and DH.


#3

I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I could reach thru the computer and give you a hug. If you ever need to talk please know that I am here to listen. I know that we don’t know each other but I know the pain that you are feeling. My heart is breaking right now for you. You are your DH are in my thoughts.


#4

I am so sorry for your loss. I never went through IVF so I can not imagine the pain. I have had 4 losses though and my last was at 9 weeks 6 days. It is painful to have a loss after you hear the heart beat. There are many options out there so take time to grieve, cry, stay in bed, do what you need to do, but don’t give up Hope. Trust me I have been there when I felt like I would never be a mom, it was hard to function, but I had to keep trying and even when I felt that there was no Hope, DH found it for me.

:grouphug: :grouphug: to you an your family.


#5

I’m so sorry for you. The same thing happened to me, but I was only 8 weeks. I insisted on blood work before my next IVF and I found out I have a clotting disorder that probably caused it. Now, I am on a special Rx vitamin and will be on heparin. If your insurance will cover it, you may want to have a loss panel done. It may give you some peace to have an answer. Again, I’m so, so sorry for you and DH :frowning:


#6

[quote=peaceandhope]Starbell- I am so so sorry. I am crying right now for you. I can not imagine the pain you are in. I know how hard it is to struggle through infertility, but to miscarry after IVF must be so so difficult. I am praying right now for you and DH.[/quote

Thank you peace and hope, I appreciate it, I’m having such a hard time, thank your for thinking of me. It means so very much to me.


#7

Thanks Anna, I will be in touch with you. I really have no one to talk to. My husband isn’t dealing with things well, and my family can be really insensitve. I really need someone to talk to.


#8

[quote=Perseverance]I am so sorry for your loss. I never went through IVF so I can not imagine the pain. I have had 4 losses though and my last was at 9 weeks 6 days. It is painful to have a loss after you hear the heart beat. There are many options out there so take time to grieve, cry, stay in bed, do what you need to do, but don’t give up Hope. Trust me I have been there when I felt like I would never be a mom, it was hard to function, but I had to keep trying and even when I felt that there was no Hope, DH found it for me.

:grouphug: :grouphug: to you an your family.[/quote]

Thanks Perseverance---- I’m trying to not give up hope, I think my husband is… He keeps saying that I’m enough for him, and I love that about him, but I want more. I want a family of my own. I don’t feel complete.


#9

Luv4rachela—
That’s good advice, I think I might have further testing, but my doctor said the gest. sac was a little small, she said that might of played a role… but when I went in she didn’t act overly concerened. The baby was measuring perfect, the hearbeat was perfect… this hurts so much.


#10

My first three miscarriages I was not with an RE and the doc just was not concerned. My last miscarriage at 9 weeks 6 days I wanted the baby to be tested, but again not with an RE and the doc refused and told me it was chromosomal and that it would not tell me anything. So I understand your frustration I think that the docs see so much so they sometimes don’t take our individual cases into consideration. If you want a loss panel and you have not had clotting issues checked I would demand at least that. After a premature traumatic birth I found out that I have two clotting factors that may have caused the first three miscarriages. Best of luck, keep you head held high and move forward!


#11

I am so sorry for your loss. I know that there aren’t any words that can take the pain away. I M/C a month ago, and it still hurts, but I am optimistic about TTC right away. We are trying hopefully sometime this month. Don’t lose hope. I am thinking about you guys :slight_smile:


#12

My RE, OB and even the Pathologists I work with, (I work at a hsp in Pathology) all told me it was a chromosomal problem with the baby. I did the karyotype anyway, and surprise…they were all WRONG. The baby was perfectly normal, and further blood tests showed it was a clotting disorder. It’s a shame, but you have to be your own advocate. If the sac was small, there could been blood flow restriction. Ask about the clotting disorder blood tests.
You are in my thoughts:grouphug:


#13

Perserverance —

So, I sent my Doctor an email asking to get tested for blood clotting… she hasn’t written me back, so I’m just waiting. I hope they won’t fluff this under the table, I want to make sure there isn’t a under-lying issue.

Thanks for your response, I appreciate it.


#14

[quote=luv4rachela]My RE, OB and even the Pathologists I work with, (I work at a hsp in Pathology) all told me it was a chromosomal problem with the baby. I did the karyotype anyway, and surprise…they were all WRONG. The baby was perfectly normal, and further blood tests showed it was a clotting disorder. It’s a shame, but you have to be your own advocate. If the sac was small, there could been blood flow restriction. Ask about the clotting disorder blood tests.
You are in my thoughts:grouphug:[/quote]

Luv4achela—
You are right, I have to be my own advocate, I’m so frusterated… I think I’m going to have to be really pushy !!! I’ve emailed my doctor, and now I’m just waiting to hear back !!

I really think I might have a blood clotting disorder… I’ve always had major blood clots in my periods. I guess I have to just trust my gut !!!

Thank you for response !!!
xo


#15

Thank you Dedication !!! I’m trying to be optimistic too, it’s tough though !!!

Good luck to you !!! Hope you get your little one soon!
xoxoxox


#16

Star :grouphug: I too just miscarried but conceived via IUI. My husband i think took a lot harder than me this time. He just sat and starred at him for what seemed like hours.


#17

I miscarried 3 years ago this month, after an unplanned pregnancy. I’d been in to confirm pregnancy, then started spotting and went in for an ultrasound. The baby was smaller than it should have been but my dr. wasn’t concerned about the size or heartbeat. He even sent me home with a dvd of the ultrasound to show my dh. I spotted all weekend and the following week, and went in for another u/s, only to find out we had miscarried. I opted for a D&C, and the hardest part for me was how long the bleeding afterward lasted (over a week). (That and the constant reminder that my sister in law was due the same time I was, which how now become a yearly reminder no one acknowledges–yeah, a bit bitter!). No one mentions that when you miscarry it isn’t just a bam, and it’s done kind of event (even with the D&C). It is tough, but you will move on. You’ll never truly be over it, but it will get easier with time. :grouphug:


#18

Ugh, I know your pain… I found out the day before Christmas my pregnancy was an ectopic. It was right at my 6 week mark. I think I cried all through new years. It’s so hard and I find myself depressed at times, it seems that no one understands except for the wonderful people who visit these forums. I have found so much support through them and I feel a little better each day. I am still waiting on my beta to reach 0 so I can start stims. I hope this time we get lucky. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope each day it gets a little easier for you. I am praying for you.


#19

My husband definitely took it harder then me. He told his family I was preg. before we agreed to tell everyone… I wanted to wait until I was out of the danger zone… he was so crushed !!! I sorta feel like I dissapointed him, although I know it wasn’t my fault. :frowning:


#20

When you mentioned no one acknowledges… I know exactly what you mean. Just cause my little one didn’t make it the full nine months, it was real and it was mine. It had a heart beat… I feel like such a diff. person since this has happened. It’s hard to move forward :frowning: