My friends baby died in utero


#1

My friend contacted me telling me her third baby died in utero 2 weeks prior to her c-section date. (she was able to get pregnant naturally) Anyway we haven’t talked since Christmas, she has no idea what’s going on w me. I don’t want to share either (at least not now). Anyone else had to comfort a friend who lost a full term baby? What did you say besides the obvious I am sorry for your loss.


#2

Just be an ear. She will go through tons of emotions. Sad, angry, wonder, mad, sad again. I know i was sad, then angry that god would allow our son to pass after all we had done to get him. Then i wondered what i might have done wrong. But having friends to just listen to me cry on the phone and talk was the best thing. Oh and one thing i hated hearing was that god had a plan and some things happen for a reason. So maybe not say those things to her. Now i understand those sayings. But at the time i did NOT want to hear them.


#3

I would just be there to listen if she needs to talk but don’t push it. She may not want to.
If she lives nearby you could offer to bring food over or something. Anything to take the work off her so she can focus on herself right now without having to deal with other stuff.
Or, if you’re not nearby have something sent to her - food, a gift card for a restaurant she likes…anything to help.
Any little gesture would be nice.


#4

I hear you

[QUOTE=missingmy#2]Just be an ear. She will go through tons of emotions. Sad, angry, wonder, mad, sad again. I know i was sad, then angry that god would allow our son to pass after all we had done to get him. Then i wondered what i might have done wrong. But having friends to just listen to me cry on the phone and talk was the best thing. Oh and one thing i hated hearing was that god had a plan and some things happen for a reason. So maybe not say those things to her. Now i understand those sayings. But at the time i did NOT want to hear them.[/QUOTE]

I am not a god person so I won’t say anything like that. I hate hearing it on an infertility basis too. Sorry you lost your baby also.