Need help!!! cry from the heart


#1

Hi everyone. I am a new here and have never write for such forums but … I think its time to open my soul. I can’t stand anymore, this feeling is killing me . My young indiscretions broke my life. I have been in serious relationships starting when I was 19 yrs old, his was 25. Love, happiness , walking on the air. But

that Wednesday I was carefree , my dream comes true. A little life inside me. He was at work , should come at 6. My speech was perfect, dinner wonderful. His words – you should have an abortion. The doctor said that he need to make an surgical abortion. Everything was going good but suddenly I felt prick and passed out from it. When I woke up the doctor was sitting near me. His bad face suggested bad news. He told me that while he was doing the operation he eventually perforated the wall of the uterus with the sharp curette. As the escape of blood was huge as well as the walls of uterus, the best and the right solution was to remove the uterus. He explained this by saying that he was working blindly and it happen by accident.

. Long recovering, mentally sick, and fatal diagnosis. You will never have a baby. never have a baby. Can you imagine that. me – no !!! My Love broke my life because we were too young.

Now I am 34, have a good job, great house lovely husband but my heart and house are empty. Infertility is my fate. How I want to feel this emotion when your baby holds your hand, say “mummy”. One time I was thinking about adoption, once about surrogacy. My DH thinks that surrogacy would be better, some part of us will be in this child. I’m frustrated, don’t know what to do. It will be great if some people who met such problems give me advices. I really appreciate this.


#2

feel sorry for you. I know how it is but you shouldn’t give up. there are a lot of methods how to have a baby. infertility is not a fate. be strong and patient.


#3

Yeah, don’t give up. 6 years ago I’ve got such problem but thanks God our new technologies make miracles. It takes around 2 years for getting my bab

As I have serious problems with the heart, namely a mitral stenosis( 3rd stage), the doctor said that I need to make come examination of my heart. After doing this a cardiologist said that couldn’t be a mother, because of my significantly increased venous pressure. Often women can’t cope with load occurs that can lead to fatal end. Besides, a future baby is in the high risk level of pathology. Stress all the time can provoke a lot of problems. And my doctor insisted on abortion. It means that I will never have my own baby. . I was afraid of it so after searching through the Internet, I noticed a lot of articles about surrogacy, especially in my own egg cells. We just found a suitable donor in database and started the process. We had several attempts to become pregnant, but was crowned with failure. My husband has supported this idea and we started to work on it. After two years expectations, I took my baby in my arms. I was absolutely over the moon. Thanks God and doctors I felt women’s happiness. Dear , don’t give up and all will be well. After all, every woman deserves it.


#4

Hi dear! I’m sorry about your situation. My dh and I passed through a lot. When I was in my 30s, I started to feel lower abdominal pain. I’ve lost 17 pounds for very short period of time. I felt exhausted. I was getting tired very fast. One night I woke up because of sharp pain in abdomen and found out that I was bleeding. I was diagnosed with cancer of the uterus. All reproductive organs were removed. I try not to think about that period of time. I felt myself miserable. I had no will to live. Despite the fact that I fought the cancer, I couldn’t stop thinking about new problem – my inability to have kids. All the time I was hearing that stupid and painful question from relatives and people, who were not aware about my diagnosis, ‘Why don’t you have kids?’ I really tried my best not to be rude and not to scream ‘It’s none of your business!’ in their faces. It was so hard. I can’t remember this without tears in my eyes. But now everything behind and all I hear is how wonderful my son is. My husband and I have gone through surrogacy and we never regret it. It’s the best thing, which happened in our lives. Now we are in our second journey and we are really happy with our life and how it goes. I wish you all the best with your decision! I hope you will hear your baby saying “mummy” very soon)


#5

feel sorry for you. I know how it is but you shouldn’t give up. there are a lot of methods how to have a baby. infertility is not a fate. be strong and patient.

[QUOTE=“littlemouse, post: 1868757, member: 87391”]feel sorry for you. I know how it is but you shouldn’t give up. there are a lot of methods how to have a baby. infertility is not a fate. be strong and patient.[/QUOTE]


#6

Thank you very much, I appreciate your support


#7

Thanks a million. I’m glad that you passed everything. But how was it, I mean,exactly this process. What I need to do, how to choose the right clinic, what about your husband? How he reacted to this? Because I have ambiguous feelings and he is support the idea of surrogacy?


#8

Thank you for sharing, I know know how you felt that time because now I’m feeling the same. I am glad too that everything passed great. But I am still afraid of it. What if we would failed everything. I wanted to ask, how did you choose the clinic,which were the criteria for your selection of clinic, in what country? What about price because I’ve heard that it is very expensive? I will be happy and thankful if you can advise me, thank you.:slight_smile:


#9

[QUOTE=“ladybird345, post: 1868770, member: 87389”]Thank you for sharing, I know know how you felt that time because now I’m feeling the same. I am glad too that everything passed great. But I am still afraid of it. What if we would failed everything. I wanted to ask, how did you choose the clinic,which were the criteria for your selection of clinic, in what country? What about price because I’ve heard that it is very expensive? I will be happy and thankful if you can advise me, thank you.:)[/QUOTE]

It was a difficult journey. While I was reading the information about surrogacy I found one clinic in Europe, namely in Ukraine. I didn’t pay a lot attention to it ‘cause I never regard it as a highly developed country on surrogacy. But I found one clinic with more suitable for us price and conditions. That’s why I started to read a lot of it, I chat with other people on forums who already had such experience with that clinic or heard something about it. Also I look through the Internet on their website, I was speaking with the manager. I did a huge work before I started to work with them.

I mean, you need to choose by yourself what really YOU want. What about my husband, he always supported me, he saw how it was hard to me, I really wanted a little… my own baby.


#10

do such terrible things still happen during abortions? I’m shocked! it’s definitely a doctors mistake and you should sue him. his license should be withdrawn. I also had hysterectomy, you can find more about my story here in other threads or in my blog here http://havingababyafterhysterectomy.blogspot.no/. Maybe you will find some clue for you. I know how tough and unbearable it is. I understand you. I was also quite young when I lost uterus and I wasn’t going to stop on a single child. We’re now getting surrogacy treatment in Ukraine


#11

[QUOTE=“Agnete, post: 1868773, member: 87055”]do such terrible things still happen during abortions? I’m shocked! it’s definitely a doctors mistake and you should sue him. his license should be withdrawn. I also had hysterectomy, you can find more about my story here in other threads or in my blog here http://havingababyafterhysterectomy.blogspot.no/. Maybe you will find some clue for you. I know how tough and unbearable it is. I understand you. I was also quite young when I lost uterus and I wasn’t going to stop on a single child. We’re now getting surrogacy treatment in Ukraine[/QUOTE]
Hi, Agnette, you know, I’ve been in that clinic, I mean BIotexcom. We’ve made an surro journey there. I really liked the the service and the treatment, their proffecional efficiency was great. As for donor, we’ve got a huge database, I’m sure they all are healthy because our baby is developing very well. I am very grateful I agreed to be held there and survived;):rolleyes: this whole process.


#12

I’m so sorry o hear that awful story hon! Millions of women ttc in vain because of their issues or of unexplained disorders, but here it’s a pathetic doctor who must be responsible for your broken heart. I agree with Agnete, and i hope he didn’t come out dry uh? How such people can be trusted, we need their help and they just can’t use their own hands. Your story made me lose my temper…
I didn’t face same issues but know few couples, whose only chance to have genetically related child was surrogacy and their children now are about 2 yo. When I was in a clinic, I met lots of donors, surromothers and infertile couples there. Standing in lines we had a chat about our common problems, treatment and all. I’m a mother of a beautiful daughter after IVF procedure in Ukrainian clinic which gives hundreds of couples a year their babies. If you still can use own eggs then your baby will be totally the same as if you carried a kid on your own and you’ll be the one he/she will call ‘mommy’


#13

[QUOTE=“mannamay, post: 1868778, member: 87399”]I’m so sorry o hear that awful story hon! Millions of women ttc in vain because of their issues or of unexplained disorders, but here it’s a pathetic doctor who must be responsible for your broken heart. I agree with Agnete, and i hope he didn’t come out dry uh? How such people can be trusted, we need their help and they just can’t use their own hands. Your story made me lose my temper…
I didn’t face same issues but know few couples, whose only chance to have genetically related child was surrogacy and their children now are about 2 yo. When I was in a clinic, I met lots of donors, surromothers and infertile couples there. Standing in lines we had a chat about our common problems, treatment and all. I’m a mother of a beautiful daughter after IVF procedure in Ukrainian clinic which gives hundreds of couples a year their babies. If you still can use own eggs then your baby will be totally the same as if you carried a kid on your own and you’ll be the one he/she will call ‘mommy’[/QUOTE]
Thank you very much for support, As I new here, but reading your answers I understood that in Ukraine are good condidtions for surrogacy. Probably I should take it to consideration. What about that couples? Did they totally satisfied with all conditions of that clinic? Can you send me the name of it, I willl look through the Internet. Maybe I wiil find something useful for me/ Thank you very much.


#14

[QUOTE=“mannamay, post: 1868778, member: 87399”]I’m so sorry o hear that awful story hon! Millions of women ttc in vain because of their issues or of unexplained disorders, but here it’s a pathetic doctor who must be responsible for your broken heart. I agree with Agnete, and i hope he didn’t come out dry uh? How such people can be trusted, we need their help and they just can’t use their own hands. Your story made me lose my temper…
I didn’t face same issues but know few couples, whose only chance to have genetically related child was surrogacy and their children now are about 2 yo. When I was in a clinic, I met lots of donors, surromothers and infertile couples there. Standing in lines we had a chat about our common problems, treatment and all. I’m a mother of a beautiful daughter after IVF procedure in Ukrainian clinic which gives hundreds of couples a year their babies. If you still can use own eggs then your baby will be totally the same as if you carried a kid on your own and you’ll be the one he/she will call ‘mommy’[/QUOTE]
Hi, had a problem, yesterday I was talking to my husband and he told me that we don’t have enough money for all this things. I just wanted to ask is there are some cheap cervices at that clinic, I don’t know, should we wait or what? I don’t know///


#15

Honey, to support others is my aim and my need now, it’s the least I can do for women struggling for their family. You know, there not that many countries where surrogacy is legal, Australia, US, SAR, Georgia, Russia, Ukraine and around 5 more countries with different terms, but each of them has its happy clients who now have children. The thing is that you must have some criteria to choose the one which is best for you. Ukraine has good conditions, first of all because of its price, and if you are from Europe then it’s easy to get there. A clinic I was talking about is in Kiev, the capital of ukraine, and it has pretty good services included in their contracts, no matter ivf tx or surrogacy. For example, if you want to have a consultation in the clinic, you go to Ukraine and you’ll be met at the airport by a clinic representative or there will be a taxi for you, then you’ll have your own room in a hotel or even a separate department somewhere in the city, you also will be able to have meals and all these things are free for you even if you are not a client yet. I doubt there are lots of clinics with the same options. If we are talking about med part, then all your meds and examinations are also included. you see, you need to worry only about your tickets to Ukraine and taht’s all.


#16

[QUOTE=“ladybird345, post: 1868782, member: 87389”]Hi, had a problem, yesterday I was talking to my husband and he told me that we don’t have enough money for all this things. I just wanted to ask is there are some cheap cervices at that clinic, I don’t know, should we wait or what? I don’t know///[/QUOTE]

I understand your problem, it’s definitely not the cheapest thing. but you know in the USA you can pay $80k or even $100k for your surrogacy program, it’s too much. in ukraine in my particular clinic there are 3 surrogacy programs: 30k,40k, 50k…you may google it. they have the prices on their website . it’s called biotexcom


#17

[QUOTE=“mannamay, post: 1868784, member: 87399”]I understand your problem, it’s definitely not the cheapest thing. but you know in the USA you can pay $80k or even $100k for your surrogacy program, it’s too much. in ukraine in my particular clinic there are 3 surrogacy programs: 30k,40k, 50k…you may google it. they have the prices on their website . it’s called biotexcom[/QUOTE]
Biotexcom? I’ve read something about it a few days ago, while I was looking through the Internet. I’ve never think that Ukraine can give such good conditions for people who want to have a baby by doing surrogacy.


#18

[QUOTE=“mannamay, post: 1868783, member: 87399”]Honey, to support others is my aim and my need now, it’s the least I can do for women struggling for their family. You know, there not that many countries where surrogacy is legal, Australia, US, SAR, Georgia, Russia, Ukraine and around 5 more countries with different terms, but each of them has its happy clients who now have children. The thing is that you must have some criteria to choose the one which is best for you. Ukraine has good conditions, first of all because of its price, and if you are from Europe then it’s easy to get there. A clinic I was talking about is in Kiev, the capital of ukraine, and it has pretty good services included in their contracts, no matter ivf tx or surrogacy. For example, if you want to have a consultation in the clinic, you go to Ukraine and you’ll be met at the airport by a clinic representative or there will be a taxi for you, then you’ll have your own room in a hotel or even a separate department somewhere in the city, you also will be able to have meals and all these things are free for you even if you are not a client yet. I doubt there are lots of clinics with the same options. If we are talking about med part, then all your meds and examinations are also included. you see, you need to worry only about your tickets to Ukraine and taht’s all.[/QUOTE]
Readind this information I understand that they have pretty good conditions, mels and rooms are incuded. Medical examination is for free ? Or it will be after signing some papers? You said that the last thing to be worried is ticket to Ukraine? But what about that women who will bear children? Are thay all healthy, not psysically but mentally, what if she wants to take baby for herself? Do they have some rights for it?


#19

i didn’t think that I can count on their services at all when planning our first visit, you know it was unknown place for me but…I was wrong. Of course if you buy economy package you won’t live in a luxury apartment but still it’s for free and you don’t need to spend your time trying to find a place to live, to eat and how to get to the clinic. Before the first visit you need to send them some of your tests and of course your doctor’s conclusion decision which contains information about the reasons you cant carry a baby. Then if it’s ok you can talk about the first appointment. Med tests needes are really free. Once you sign there is nothing to be worried about, you can home. If you’re using your OE then you’ll get meds for stimulationyour ovaries. If it’s DE then your husband sperm is picked up but during the second visit if i’m not mistaken. When a clinic finds a surromother she must be also stimulated and then they will invite you again.
I watched videos on clinic’s youtube channel, It was said that they have strict rules when it comes to surrogate mothers. They are young, totally healthy both, mentally and phisically, coordinators in different regions watch them follow all the rules and prescriptions and you will receive info about her and your baby’s state at least once a month. According to the Ukrainian law she can’t leave a kid for herself as she isn’t related to him genetically, thus your husband and you are the only people who can take a baby and you are the parents.


#20

[QUOTE=“mannamay, post: 1868787, member: 87399”]i didn’t think that I can count on their services at all when planning our first visit, you know it was unknown place for me but…I was wrong. Of course if you buy economy package you won’t live in a luxury apartment but still it’s for free and you don’t need to spend your time trying to find a place to live, to eat and how to get to the clinic. Before the first visit you need to send them some of your tests and of course your doctor’s conclusion decision which contains information about the reasons you cant carry a baby. Then if it’s ok you can talk about the first appointment. Med tests needes are really free. Once you sign there is nothing to be worried about, you can home. If you’re using your OE then you’ll get meds for stimulationyour ovaries. If it’s DE then your husband sperm is picked up but during the second visit if i’m not mistaken. When a clinic finds a surromother she must be also stimulated and then they will invite you again.
I watched videos on clinic’s youtube channel, It was said that they have strict rules when it comes to surrogate mothers. They are young, totally healthy both, mentally and phisically, coordinators in different regions watch them follow all the rules and prescriptions and you will receive info about her and your baby’s state at least once a month. According to the Ukrainian law she can’t leave a kid for herself as she isn’t related to him genetically, thus your husband and you are the only people who can take a baby and you are the parents.[/QUOTE]
It sounds really cool. Can I meet the surro mother orit is prohibited? So, first of all, I should to sign the contract or other papers, am I right? Then they’ll give me a free consultation if I give them a pack of document that I couldn’t bear the baby? Do I understand right? And then I can choose the most siutable for me contract? Yes, is it right?