Needing to vent...


#1

I just had my baseline ultrasound and a little consult w/ my RE last week… I felt so much better emotionally about everything because she took the time to go over the statistics of pregnancy each month. I have been blaming myself each month for not being able to get pregnant since my DH’s numbers are perfect. However, I know my mom is just trying to help… but when I was telling her about my appt she goes “has she told you about how important it is to relax??? I really think you just need to calm down and let happen, happen.” Eh, she has told me to relax each cycle, and at this point, I’m not sure how much more I can take. Let alone other people saying the same thing.

I can honestly say each month I am optimistic about the cycle and think it’s going to work… the only time I get depressed and/or emotional is when AF arrives or I get a :bfn: . I told mom that it was easy for her to tell me to relax because she is not going through it.

Besides my own mind playing games on myself- I am hearing all these opinions elsewhere and it is driving me crazy!!! I’d rather people not say anything if they don’t know how to respond… usually we are just wanting someone to listen

Ok, I am done venting!! LOL


#2

I am so sorry. I don’t know why people feel that they are ‘helping us’ by telling us to relax. Sometimes we just need to vent or cry and we are not specifically looking for a verbal response. The last think I want to hear is the crazy idea that the only reason I am not preganant is b/c I am stressed out. Agree, sometimes we just need someone to listen.

The only thing I can think of as a reason why we hear this so much is that they don’t know what to say or do and there is really nothing that they can do to help us get pregnant. I am sure it is frustrating for our close friends and family members too that see is struggle so hard. I told a family member the other day instead of telling me to relax - HELP me relax. Lets go out to a movie, dinner, window shopping, whatever. Help me relax during this horrible 2WW.

Hang in there and know that we are here to listen and read your venting. :grouphug:


#3

It is annoying to hear the “just relax” comments. I would say what you think, but also understand that the people who care about us feel sort of helpless bc they can’t really do anything to ease the struggles/pain of infertility. They will say things to be helpful, even when those things are not helpful at all. I think you should tell her it’s not helpful to hear that and why, but also try to understand why she’s saying it.


#4

I think there are some out there who think that you need to be on a beach with a pina colada in hand in order to ovulate, and others that are just making the suggestion not to let fertility take over your life.

My favourite response to the “just relax” line: My ovaries can’t decide when to ovulate and my DH has a low sperm count -We’re TOO relaxed!

Hang in there :slight_smile:


#5

Thank you ladies for your responses!! I do understand it’s almost impossible for people to understand when they have not walked in our shoes; but it does get frustrating depending on my emotional mood!

I used to try to hide our infertility from people and I would get fed up with people always asking when we were going to have children. Now, I am trying to be as open with people to educate them… and maybe one day someone who may go through the same situation remember they aren’t alone in this.

At the beginning of this infertility journey, it def helped me remember stories I have heard in the past about others having problems too :o

So, once again, thank you for your support and reading my vent!!! :grouphug: