New and frustrated


#1

Our story is a long one, but here it goes…DH and I tried and tried to get preggo. In fact we tried for 5 years. Clomid, femera, 2 miscarriages, and lots of tears. Diagnosed with annovulation, uterine didelphys, and PCOS. Finally, after our home visit to start the adoption process we found out we were pregnant. I know, I know, it happens all the time, right? 8 months later (he was a little early) we had our bouncing baby boy. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I said, just one God, give me just one, and I will be happy, and I am happy, but…now, 4 years later, many failed attempts (clomid and femera again - no good follies!). My baby sis just had a beautiful little girl and my brother’s girlfriend in preggo - neither married, nor ttc. My cousin and her “partner” just informed me they did IVF. :grr: Don’t get me wrong, I am completely and utterly in LOVE with my DS. I am very thankful that I am a mommy, but I thought maybe it would be easy to get pregnant again and right now, I’m angry, I’m angry that I have to try soooo hard and others don’t. No one to talk to, no one understands. So, I just need a little support. I guess I want to know that its okay to be angry, but still happy at the same time.


#2

First of all :grouphug: and :welcome:. My best friend is going through something similar as you and she comes on the boards to get out her frustration. Maybe in order to get baby number 2 you just need to do what you did with the 1st one… Don’t think about it. Find something else to focus your attention on and it will happen gracefully and surprisingly as the 1st. I know it’s sounds easier than it really is. I hear people tell me that all the time and I’m about to start my 1st cycle of IVF. But stress really affects your body in strange ways and even though we don’t think that us not being able to have a baby or thinking that we can’t get pregnant really affects us and our health.


#3

I understand you so very well… We have a miracle baby too… And though I know and see couples who just don’t have kids and dream about them… I am feeling the mix of anger and sadness quite often… I would like to know if it is normal or not myself though.


#4

I hear ya. I have my beautiful 6 month old twins after A LOT of trying / IVF / heartache. But when my SIL (who had her 3rd baby without trying 2 weeks after my babies were born) had a recent pregnancy “scare,” I just felt jealous and angry. How can she get pregnant SO EASILY! I was confused that I even had these feelings. I thought that after I had my own, all of that would go away. To my surprise, these ugly feelings are still there. I guess some wounds run too deep to completely heal.
:grouphug: You are not alone. Good luck to you in growing your family


#5

I think it is just right that you let yourself feel angry about certain things and this is absolutely one of those things. Infertility is such an emotional issue on all levels. On the other hand, you also have to watch out that you don’t let your anger adversely affect the way you deal with others.

I work in a hospital and I see a lot of people with unplanned or unwanted pregnancies. I get angry sometimes too especially since my wife and I have been trying for a long time to have a child and we still have none. Just thinking about how easy it is for other people but not for us makes me burn mad sometimes.

But I always try to be positive about things. I always hope that maybe those parents will realize how lucky they are. When I am able to see it that way, I don’t feel angry anymore.