I’ve been with my husband for 7 years and married for over a year. He has 2 wonderful boys from his first marriage, I’ve been a big part of their lives for the past 7 years and I love them so much. But I’d like to have a child with me husband, he had a vasectomy while he was married to his first wife. I guess I feel some jealousy to her because she has children with the man I love and would love to have a child with him.
A few years ago I had surgery to remove cysts on my ovaries, during the surgery the doctors found endometriosis. Since then I’ve lived with moderate to severe pain in my right ovary. My doctor has told me that this may make it difficult to conceive I was also told that I will need a hysterectomy one day but I can’t bring myself to do it. It’s too final right now. I want a baby, I want to be pregnant, but some days I can’t get out of bed the pain is so bad. My husband wishes I’d get a hysterectomy because it kills him to see me in so much pain.
He and I have talked about our options and he does not want to have his vasectomy revised, because of cost and pain. I’d adopted if I had to get a hysterectomy but I want to have the experience of pregnancy. We’ve been thinking about a sperm donor. But that’s still a new thought and I think I need to get used to the idea that the baby wouldn’t be my husbands. I know he’ll raise this baby the same as his boys but I want him to be in our kid also.
I know I shouldn’t but I feel so much jealousy to women that find out their pregnant and didn’t even want to be or parents that have kids they don’t appreciate how wonderful they are. I guess I’m just bitter.
I feel like I get punched in the heart every time someone asks, “when you two going to have a baby?” No one this trying to be mean but it almost brings me to tears every time I’m asked.
I’m sure people think, well if she wanted a baby why did she marry a guy that’s had a vasectomy. Truth is I didn’t think I wanted kids when we started dating. But as I got older I changed my mind. And there is no one else I want to spend my life with. My husband is wonderful, he’s my best friend.
I guess I just needed to get that out.