Hello! I’m Dizzy. I’ll be 22 in about 2 weeks. My fiance and I are getting married in October. We currently live together and have not been trying to conceive. We really hope for children in the future, but now that I’m coming to a better understanding on my conditions, I’m scared that may never happen.
When I was 15, I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. I’ve never been on medication for it. At 19, a doctor redid all the testing and confirmed it, but also diagnosed me with PCOS. I’m lucky to only have simple cysts, but they’re painful and constant. I haven’t had a single day without being completely aware of exactly where my ovaries are due to painful cysts.
My fiance is very supportive, but neither of us really understood how these conditions could affect my fertility until this month.
My cycles seemed regular. My monthly was coming between the 8th and 11th of every month for several months. I used a medical site to track my monthly cycle, and I knew the one for July was due around the 10th. Yet, it didn’t come. When I was a week late, my fiance and I started panicking. We looked up all the symptoms of pregnancy, and I analyzed every little thing in my body as being a symptom. I took a test and got a negative. We were sad. Even if having a baby right then wouldn’t have been part of our plan, we were still happy at the possibility. We were rather excited. Three days passed. I took another test. Still negative. That night, I started my monthly. After a 41 day cycle, I started. I broke down crying.
So, I wanted to know why this had happened. I researched and found what I had heard in the past: PCOS and thyroid problems. When I was diagnosed, I was convinced I’d never be married or have children. I didn’t want any of that until I met my future husband. I remember the doctor telling me about fertility and possible problems, and I just rushed her through the conversation by saying I didn’t care. Well, now, I care. I want to have children with my future husband. Our plan was to try to get pregnant within the first two to five years of marriage, and now, I’m afraid that won’t happen.
For me, the scariest thing was seeing a medical site that said treating the conditions may not fully restore fertility…
I hope that’s not the case, but I want to understand my conditions more. I want to understand my body more, and right now, I feel betrayed by my body. Why would it trick me? Why would it make me get my hopes up…? :grr: It makes me feel so sad.
In the end, I think what makes it worse is that my parents are constantly telling me how much they want grandchildren. My fiance’s dad gets drunk and starts talking about how the family has to continue, and we’re the only ones who can do it. My husband is the only child that his dad had, and his dad’s brother never had kids. Thankfully, my fiance’s parents were both adopted, and they are perfectly fine with us adopting. My parents, however, get outright offended when I mention adoption. “You’ll want to give birth to your child. It’s not YOUR child unless you do that.” – My mother. My father isn’t any better. He’s told me that a child isn’t a part of the family unless it’s blood related.
Thank for your reading all this. I’m sorry if I rambled a bit, but I’m upset. I’m confused. I want to understand everything more, and hopefully, someday, I’ll be able to get pregnant and have a baby. Thank you for your time. Have a great day.