New to this type of forum


#1

I will soon face our first anniversary in trying to get pregnant.
I’m surprised I haven’t formed scars on my arms due to all of the needle marks! This has been the a very long process already and can’t even bear to think or wonder how much is too much.
I’m currently being treated by my 3rd reproductive specialist in NYC (New Hope Fertility) and has been the only one who has gotten me to produce any eggs whatsoever.
Doctor #1 from NYLIJ told me she would not be able to tell me I’m infertile only that they could not help me there. (translation: I would effect their wonderful pregnancy stats if I failed)

Doctor #2 Dr Gleicher (NYC-CHR) dropped me after he realized my health insurance REALLY did pay for IVF procedures when faced with a pre-authorization from the insurance company and realized he was not going to be able to get the $15,000 per cycle he wanted in his bottomless pocket.

I feel like I’ve gotten a little closer to something promising but my fluctuating FSH and estradiol levels are puzzling to me. My doctor, Dr Zhang, has his wheels turning all the time and is constantly modifying to see what works best. So far, I have been able to produce 2 eggs in the past 3 months and have had 3 failed IVFs. One IVF had no egg in the foillie :(.

I don’t know what is exactly wrong with me and often wonder if I am just the delaying the inevitable reality. I’m tired of crying, I’m tired of avoiding certain holidays and places in order to avoid break-downs. My tears are useless to me…


#2

Hi Claude :welcome:. I think this is a great forum and I think you will find a lot of support,and people here who really understand what you are going through. I sometimes feel so isolated and alone while dealing with the infertility.I find the forum to help immensely.just reading others posting is a great comfort.These ladies are wonderful!


#3

I appreciate your welcoming words.

It’s hard to live without having the right people around. My own family has become my worst enemy at timesl When they’re around their children, they make comments like, “I dont’ know what I would do without them.” or “you can take one of them if you want”.

I sometimes feel like I have to walk around with ear muffs and a blind fold. Very stressful in itself not uncluding work and other personal problems. Sometimes I feel like going to the doctor and having a hysterectomy just to get this overwith.

Every cycle is the same…
I attempt to maintain a neutral level of expectation at the beginning and then I slowly fall right back onto the hope wagon. I have gotten slammed with so much bad news, after every chemical try, every lab result and every IVF it’s hard to feel like anything is ever going to be positive ever again. What an emotional rollercoaster!


#4

Hi Claude! Sorry you are going through this. Although I don’t have any input for your situation, let me suggest you put this in the IVF forum. There is more traffic there and the ladies are quite informative.

Good luck with your journey!