Opinions on age?


#1

Hi ladies! What a great board this is with such a wonderful group of gals! This is my first time posting anything, but have been lurking and following your stories! :nerd:

so I am having an internal struggle here - and was hoping for some opinions/advice…

I have just turned 47 and have a beautiful 4 year old DD from an IUI back in 2008. My husband is a “young” (IMHO) 56 and the love of my life. He has two DD’s from a previous marriage (ages 24 and 20).

I would LOVE to have a sibling for my DD (and she always asks for a baby brother or sister). After three years of begging my DH for another little one - he has finally agreed and right now we are in the middle of a DE cycle - and I have already started BCP’s!

The issue is I am finally starting to understand DH’s concern of being an “elderly” dad. To me, my dh is the best daddy in the world! (and did I mention he is adorable?) He is so involved with DD, goes to her preschool to read books, takes her skiing, sailing, etc. And is very fit. But the truth of the matter is that he will be 57 when (if) this little one is born and 75 at high school graduation! Is that asking too much? I know he is doing this for me and our DD.

Also, I am no spring chicken myself (although I still feel like I’m in my early 30’s …lol) I run every day, etc. but I’ll still be 64 at our second one’s graduation. Is there anyone out there in a similar situation? If so, do you ever worry about this? And why am I so concerned now vs 4 years ago when I got pregnant at 42? does it make that much of a difference? I really don’t know anymore. There is an article in Time magazine this week called “Too Old Dads” and honestly, it depressed the hell out of me.

I want to be excited about this cycle, but I am having anxiety now. I love being a mom and absolutely crazy about the thought of raising another LO. I’m even happy getting up in the middle of the night when the baby wakes up! I know - I’m the crazy old mom, right? haha. any comments would be appreciated ladies… xo


#2

Wow- you run everyday! Kuddos- you are likely in better shape than most women on this crazy journey. Good for you and age is only something you can assess. If your body is still able and you are mentally capable, then why not?!
What I am shocked about is the fact that your RE is wiling to do this. I am 40 and they treat me like I am 90 years old…kinda feels horrible. I am curious of your counts, etc at your age. You are amazing! Go for it if you feel it in your gut!
:clap::clap::clap::clap:

[quote=Tiffanysmomma]Hi ladies! What a great board this is with such a wonderful group of gals! This is my first time posting anything, but have been lurking and following your stories! :nerd:

so I am having an internal struggle here - and was hoping for some opinions/advice…

I have just turned 47 and have a beautiful 4 year old DD from an IUI back in 2008. My husband is a “young” (IMHO) 56 and the love of my life. He has two DD’s from a previous marriage (ages 24 and 20).

I would LOVE to have a sibling for my DD (and she always asks for a baby brother or sister). After three years of begging my DH for another little one - he has finally agreed and right now we are in the middle of a DE cycle - and I have already started BCP’s!

The issue is I am finally starting to understand DH’s concern of being an “elderly” dad. To me, my dh is the best daddy in the world! (and did I mention he is adorable?) He is so involved with DD, goes to her preschool to read books, takes her skiing, sailing, etc. And is very fit. But the truth of the matter is that he will be 57 when (if) this little one is born and 75 at high school graduation! Is that asking too much? I know he is doing this for me and our DD.

Also, I am no spring chicken myself (although I still feel like I’m in my early 30’s …lol) I run every day, etc. but I’ll still be 64 at our second one’s graduation. Is there anyone out there in a similar situation? If so, do you ever worry about this? And why am I so concerned now vs 4 years ago when I got pregnant at 42? does it make that much of a difference? I really don’t know anymore. There is an article in Time magazine this week called “Too Old Dads” and honestly, it depressed the hell out of me.

I want to be excited about this cycle, but I am having anxiety now. I love being a mom and absolutely crazy about the thought of raising another LO. I’m even happy getting up in the middle of the night when the baby wakes up! I know - I’m the crazy old mom, right? haha. any comments would be appreciated ladies… xo[/quote]


#3

[quote=abeadinpath]Wow- you run everyday! Kuddos- you are likely in better shape than most women on this crazy journey. Good for you and age is only something you can assess. If your body is still able and you are mentally capable, then why not?!
What I am shocked about is the fact that your RE is wiling to do this. I am 40 and they treat me like I am 90 years old…kinda feels horrible. I am curious of your counts, etc at your age. You are amazing! Go for it if you feel it in your gut!
:clap::clap::clap::clap:[/quote]

Hi Danielle, thank you for your response! I hope I didn’t post on the wrong board - and not even sure how to move my post if I did! ugh! But to clarify I am in the middle of a DE cycle (donor egg) so no, I am not cycling with my own eggs - sorry if that wasn’t clear! Same as you, I don’t know of any RE who would cycle a 47 year old with her own eggs! (though who knows, they may be out there?)

wow I wish I were 40! you are young! and I am sad to hear that your RE is making you feel old at your young age! I had my DD at 43 and I felt great - still do actually! hee hee. As a matter of fact, the practice I went to pretty regularly cycles gals from 39-42 with their own eggs, so you fit right in there! Good luck to you on your journey! xo :cheer:


#4

Hi there. I don’t think you are on the wrong board at all. I should have said that my first RE (lasted only for testing bc of their attitude and stance on my counts and age) and his staff made me feel OLDER than dirt. My current RE is cautiously optimistic but as you can see form my sig, I do have challenges ahead. I have faith and know God is watching over us through this journey. best of luck and why not?! Who came up with this cut off age anyway? Our bodies should dictate all of this!

[quote=Tiffanysmomma]Hi Danielle, thank you for your response! I hope I didn’t post on the wrong board - and not even sure how to move my post if I did! ugh! But to clarify I am in the middle of a DE cycle (donor egg) so no, I am not cycling with my own eggs - sorry if that wasn’t clear! Same as you, I don’t know of any RE who would cycle a 47 year old with her own eggs! (though who knows, they may be out there?)

wow I wish I were 40! you are young! and I am sad to hear that your RE is making you feel old at your young age! I had my DD at 43 and I felt great - still do actually! hee hee. As a matter of fact, the practice I went to pretty regularly cycles gals from 39-42 with their own eggs, so you fit right in there! Good luck to you on your journey! xo :cheer:[/quote]


#5

Danielle, ok, so I should have read your signature first. That explains it all. I’m not surprised RMA made you feel that way and sorry you had to go through that, I know how it feels. They were the first clinic I (mistakenly) went to and seemed to me they use a cookie cutter protocol no matter who you are or what your situation is. As least it seemed that way to me. I went through the same thing with them that you did, and you know what? After the clomid challenge test my FSH was 15 as well. Of course they made it seem like that was the kiss of death and that at my ripe old age had no chance of getting pregnant. But in the end it didn’t seem to matter as much as they lead me to believe since I wound up getting pregnant at another clinic via an IUI. I’m glad to see you have moved on from them and are with Cornell now. Best of luck to you and please keep me posted!!


#6

Oh-so great to know you, too had the horrible experience at RMA! Even the nurses are nasty there. Where are you now? My FSH actually went up to 31.5 after clomid challenge. RE at Cornell laughed ans told me they haven’t used that test since the 90’s…his exact words. RMA just wants stats to improve their SART scores and the nurse verbatim told me that they are known for getting women what they want and fast so they said they would ONLY do DE with me, which is crazy according to my current RE. Update too—after 2 months of acupuncture, my FSH went form 15.99 down to 8.9, which is great. I am hopeful.
Would love to know where you are doing iui. Anyway, RMA is totally cookie cutter and unprofessional!
Glad we caught up!


#7

Hi Danielle -I did my IUI in 2008 at IVFNJ. (used gonal-f to stim) I am now doing a DE cycle at IVFNJ as well. They are great and more interested in getting you pregnant than finding the “perfect” patient to improve their stats. Nurses are wonderful as well - very caring folks. Acupunture is great for the body - just in general, but to increase overall fertility and IVF treatments as well. Glad to hear you were able to get your FSH levels down. I will be keeping everything crossed for you - don’t forget to post back here once you get your bfp! :clap:


#8

I haven’t read the Time article, but just the title hurts. ouch I would’ve loved to meet my husband a decade ago and had children the normal way–you know, sex?–but that didn’t happen.

I’m mostly at peace with our new-found normal. My desire to add to our 2-person family is larger than the desire to keep trying IVF with my own eggs, which is why I moved swiftly to DEs pretty soon after my D & C. I want a family and I want it yesterday! Luckily I live in the DC area where many people start their families later in life, so it’s not really a head-turner to see pregnant ladies in their 40s. I grew up in a small town in PA, so I sometimes giggle at the fact I’m just now heading down this path and some of my classmates are grandparents already!

I totally understand your desire for a sibling for your DD. I just recently had this conversation with my DH, who is an only child. I think he finally gets it. :cross:

Is your DH being 71 at graduation much different than being 75? Meh…go for it and best of luck to you! :wink:


#9

Thanks NoVAgurl, good luck on your journey and congratulations on picking your donor - yesterday!! :cheer:


#10

I know we are participating in a documentary about the DE process. We actually were selected because they had only women who were in thier 30s and not women who are 40+. We were just talking about how so many younger women are suffering from premature ovarian failure. I think something is iin our lifestyles. Maybe the food or maybe its not more, but more women who are coming forward.