PCOS and obesity vs. donor egg surrogacy


#1

Hello all! My name is Milana and I’m in despair. I’m 38 and I have PCOS. I also have 2 beautiful children Mary (5) and Jacob (11) delivered without significant complications. After I delivered Mary I got problems with my weight, heavy problems. Being 5’4” my weight is around 240 lbs. I think I tried everything but nothing has changed, as the reason for this are hormones. I wasn’t skinny before but 160lbs was my max. Now I’m depressed, I’m fat and I can’t take it. My husband tries to support me but I see how looks at me. I could say that my appearance is the only thing that changed, and I’m still Sarah he married to but it’s not true. I can blame hormones of course, but not sure it’s not just my real ‘face’….i’m depressed, I feel constant anger and I feel exhausted. And my problem is that I want to have the 3d baby. My dh and I decided to have 3 kids when we became parents of Jacob so I hope it may influence positively on our relationships. I can’t carry a baby being so heavy and I can’t lose weight and as I was told I should look for surrogacy if I want to have a kid but I also need to find egg donor, it’s the most sad, I wanted to have a baby 100% of my own …uurrgh. I need your support to cope with it. And it would be nice if you tell me how to start surrogacy, I know nothing about the things like this. What to do first?


#2

Hi, hun! I’m sorry you’ve found yourself here. I always share this story with ladies in the same boat. We were in the case of DE IVF actually, but a good friend of mine has a baby girl from surrogacy in Ukrainian Biotexcom clinic. Here how it went for them.
The very first thing is that a couple must be officially married in time the first appointment is conducted. They had to show the papers proving that she couldn’t get pregnant. Then they flew to Ukraine, where were met and offered the hotel (for the clinic’s expense!). The next morning they were driven to the clinic where all the necessary testing was done. That very day they also visited their doctor. And there was no language barrier as an interpreter was by their side every minute. So they had a great chance to clarify every single question. After that all the papers were signed and the first sum or money was paid.
The second appointment was conducted in order to get sperm and retrieve eggs. They used their own eggs for the procedure. That day her eggs were fertilized with her husband’s sperm. On the fifth day after that the embryo was transferred to surrogate mother. (By the way, traditional surrogacy is banned in Ukraine.)
Then they had a two week wait for the pregnancy test. Thanks to God it was positive and their surrogate had the first scan approximately in a month. That was their first time they saw her real!! After that every month the surrogate was to come for being scanned. And my friend received every single photo and video from the procedure with translation. On week 32-34 their surrogate came to Kiev and they all waited for the childbirth at the place. Their baby girl was born by planned Caesarean, so they had to stay longer than three days in the clinic. Then the surrogate signed the papers of her baby refusal and the deal was almost done. After all the papers in the embassy were ready they flew home.
Hope this helps. Wish you all luck in the world! xxx


#3

Oh honey sorry for your problems. pcos is a nsty thing and it’s not so easy to get rid of it. I won’t tell you something new i guess, but your depression can’t help you it only intensifies your pain making you suffer more. i’m sure it’s not that you want.
first of all you need to change your attitude towards your situation. if doctors tell, that you can’t have baby naturally then you need to find another way, assisted reproductive technology. Using ART you may choose, if it’s possible, whether you need donor’s service or not. In your case you just need to accept that stimulation could be very very harmful for you, extremely dangerous. Now it’s obvious you must have donor egg surrogacy. Although I didn’t deal with surrogacy personally, I know it’s a reliable thing with a high level of success rate. Few of my friends passed through it and they are happy parents now.
SamanthSun described the main steps so now you know in general how it should be, If you have any more questions, please ask. Luck xxx


#4

Hi there! Sorry you have to go through this nightmare. Know nothing about your health troubles but can answer any question related to surrogacy. I’m now on my way to starting my second surrogacy program and may share my fresh impressions. As you were already told, you need to contact a clinic or agency you chose in a country where it is legal. You must tell your reasons for surrogacy and you need to have your dr’s conclusion decision which says you really cannot bear a child because of dangerous consequences. You have a husband so it’s not a problem for you. by the way if you want to save money, don’t turn to an agency, you will pay much more than applying straight to a clinic. Then you would be provided with information about prices for such services, please be very attentive and ask everything you need to know, don’t be shy. As a rule many clinics have contract samples on their websites but be ready that there is omitted information. You should calculate risks, and be well-informed about every unpredictable situation.
I like my clinic and don’t want to find another, i’m satisfied with everything I got there. It’s by the way, the same clinic Samanthsun mentioned, BioTexCom. I know, Ukraine is hardly among the first countries people mostly want to go for fertility treatment but it doesn’t mean it’s the least experienced and successful. If you just saw how many people were there in clinic waiting for their turn to see a doctor or how many there are surrogate mothers ready to deliver happiness to foreigners…


#5

Forgot to mention, it’s worth seeing surroparents.org. The site has got lots of information on surrogacy and egg donation. Moreover you may have your consultation conducted in London absolutely for free. Patient coordinator will explain you the process. You’ll also find more success story with the clinic on mother-surrogate.info. Hope this helps, good luck x


#6

[QUOTE=“SamanthaSun, post: 1868924, member: 86634”]Hi, hun! I’m sorry you’ve found yourself here. I always share this story with ladies in the same boat. We were in the case of DE IVF actually, but a good friend of mine has a baby girl from surrogacy in Ukrainian Biotexcom clinic. Here how it went for them.
The very first thing is that a couple must be officially married in time the first appointment is conducted. They had to show the papers proving that she couldn’t get pregnant. Then they flew to Ukraine, where were met and offered the hotel (for the clinic’s expense!). The next morning they were driven to the clinic where all the necessary testing was done. That very day they also visited their doctor. And there was no language barrier as an interpreter was by their side every minute. So they had a great chance to clarify every single question. After that all the papers were signed and the first sum or money was paid.
The second appointment was conducted in order to get sperm and retrieve eggs. They used their own eggs for the procedure. That day her eggs were fertilized with her husband’s sperm. On the fifth day after that the embryo was transferred to surrogate mother. (By the way, traditional surrogacy is banned in Ukraine.)
Then they had a two week wait for the pregnancy test. Thanks to God it was positive and their surrogate had the first scan approximately in a month. That was their first time they saw her real!! After that every month the surrogate was to come for being scanned. And my friend received every single photo and video from the procedure with translation. On week 32-34 their surrogate came to Kiev and they all waited for the childbirth at the place. Their baby girl was born by planned Caesarean, so they had to stay longer than three days in the clinic. Then the surrogate signed the papers of her baby refusal and the deal was almost done. After all the papers in the embassy were ready they flew home.
Hope this helps. Wish you all luck in the world! xxx[/QUOTE]

yeah, thank you!
All this sounds quite atractive and meet almost all of my requirements. I’m maried, and my dr surely can give me a paper proving tat my condition isn’t appropriate for carrying a baby. I worried about comunication but if they understand english and have interpretors that’s good, though my english is not fluent.
what do you mean saying ‘traditional surrogacy’? you told they paid ‘the first sum’ but how many parts of it must be paid? what if i pay the first and the others will grow? i need to find donor eggs, but i can’t imagine how i should do this…and papers for baby, i think it’s not that easy to get them, right? i need to find a lawyer and will the clinic provide me with their interpreter to help me handle this?


#7

[QUOTE=“mannamay, post: 1868927, member: 87399”]Oh honey sorry for your problems. pcos is a nsty thing and it’s not so easy to get rid of it. I won’t tell you something new i guess, but your depression can’t help you it only intensifies your pain making you suffer more. i’m sure it’s not that you want.
first of all you need to change your attitude towards your situation. if doctors tell, that you can’t have baby naturally then you need to find another way, assisted reproductive technology. Using ART you may choose, if it’s possible, whether you need donor’s service or not. In your case you just need to accept that stimulation could be very very harmful for you, extremely dangerous. Now it’s obvious you must have donor egg surrogacy. Although I didn’t deal with surrogacy personally, I know it’s a reliable thing with a high level of success rate. Few of my friends passed through it and they are happy parents now.
SamanthSun described the main steps so now you know in general how it should be, If you have any more questions, please ask. Luck xxx[/QUOTE]

thank you for your support!!! you’re right, i can’t remember when was the last time I felt relax, relief, and joy…all my thoughts are about my permanent problems and everytime i forget about them then i look at my mirror reflection and god damn im’ drownning in my misery. my kids are my only joy, well i even don’t talk about my husband. it’s very tough and every day i askk myself ‘how can i live with this?’//
yes, i need de surrogacy but i don’t know whether every clinic deals with it or not. you friends who have now babies, where did they find surrogacy?


#8

Thank you for this website. I live in Serbia it’s easier for me to go straight to Ukraine than have a consultation in London actually haha


#9

[QUOTE=“harami.lana, post: 1868941, member: 87422”]yeah, thank you!
All this sounds quite atractive and meet almost all of my requirements. I’m maried, and my dr surely can give me a paper proving tat my condition isn’t appropriate for carrying a baby. I worried about comunication but if they understand english and have interpretors that’s good, though my english is not fluent.
what do you mean saying ‘traditional surrogacy’? you told they paid ‘the first sum’ but how many parts of it must be paid? what if i pay the first and the others will grow? i need to find donor eggs, but i can’t imagine how i should do this…and papers for baby, i think it’s not that easy to get them, right? i need to find a lawyer and will the clinic provide me with their interpreter to help me handle this?[/QUOTE]

There are 5 payments in every surrogacy contract, so you don’t need to pay all money at once. each installment should be paid during different stages of surrogacy process, like signing a contract, fertilization, 12th week of pregnancy, birth of a child, and receiving a bith certificate. the 2d payment is $100 less than the rest, so they are equal and the price won’t change. A clinic will contact an egg donor you choose from databasa and all the legal part, i mean docs are also performed by a clinic.


#10

Hey there , I saw that you mentioned Ukraine… I just wanna say that our family friends went there for donor eggs and they also needed a surrogate…I think the clinic was called Intersono IVF… now they’re both proud parents :slight_smile: I hope this helps


#11

oh, i heard about this clinic and even i had a slight idea to go there but when i tried to find something on the internet i found too little information and if i’m not mistaken there was a scandal related to intersono. can’t remember exactly what was there but I could be wrong.


#12

I’ve also heard about intersono, but i don’t know whether this is a good idea to undergo sany kind of theatment there. Our experience aslo was in ukraine but in biotex which is also good clinic. i can’t say any bad words about it. All people here were pleasant, met us with the smile, they have good database with the donors and the surrogates. Modern equipment and methods of treatment. So, we were sure in the success. Btw, harami.lana, how are you feeling right now? Any good news? At what stage of your journey are you now?


#13

Are you sure there are surrogate mothers in a clinic’s database?? As far as I know, you can’t choose a SM and you only meet her on 12th week of her pregnancy. it’s weird they couldn’t tell you who she is, but have information about her in database for clients.


#14

No, they don’t show me the information about surrogate mother. I told that they have a donor database for a people who want to undergo de treatment. Plus a lot of surrogates, healthy and strong. I didn’t see any of them, after our surro became pregnant we could meet her. I didn’t want to confused you. Probaly you just didn’t understand me. Sorry for that.


#15

I see you got many advices here. And I write just to find out how your mood, thoughts and in general how are you? Have you made any decisions about your issue?
For the last half a year I saw lots of such stories as ours.
How it was pleasant to know that couple that experienced its misfortune last years have a progress.
And they are grateful for advices they had received here. I’m the same. And I want to ask you what’s new?


#16

[QUOTE=“Mydreammore, post: 1870279, member: 87459”]I see you got many advices here. And I write just to find out how your mood, thoughts and in general how are you? Have you made any decisions about your issue?
For the last half a year I saw lots of such stories as ours.
How it was pleasant to know that couple that experienced its misfortune last years have a progress.
And they are grateful for advices they had received here. I’m the same. And I want to ask you what’s new?[/QUOTE]
Hello mydreammore. It’s nice of you to worry about me. well, to be honest I forgot about this forum was to busy with all my troubles. I was with a Ukrainian clinic and I thought everything would be great but I was wrong. Hard times. We had an argue with our manager, she was cold and rude and then we broke a contract as they haven’t found a surrogate mother at that moment. i don’t want to remember that accident. now we applied to another clinic and waiting again. I hope this time we won’t be disappointed.


#17

[QUOTE=“Mydreammore, post: 1870279, member: 87459”]I see you got many advices here. And I write just to find out how your mood, thoughts and in general how are you? Have you made any decisions about your issue?
For the last half a year I saw lots of such stories as ours.
How it was pleasant to know that couple that experienced its misfortune last years have a progress.
And they are grateful for advices they had received here. I’m the same. And I want to ask you what’s new?[/QUOTE]
Hello mydreammore. It’s nice of you to worry about me. well, to be honest I forgot about this forum was to busy with all my troubles. I was with a Ukrainian clinic and I thought everything would be great but I was wrong. Hard times. We had an argue with our manager, she was cold and rude and then we broke a contract as they haven’t found a surrogate mother at that moment. i don’t want to remember that accident. now we applied to another clinic and waiting again. I hope this time we won’t be disappointed.


#18

Ohhh, God! I can’t hear it. It’s totally unacceptable. How do you feel?
I really hope you haven’t lost anything except the time. don’t be disappointed you know you’ll find a relevant variant as soon as possible. Can I be interested where you search for a new center?
Is this still Ukraine or you had completely lost your faith to their responsibility?


#19

[QUOTE=“Mydreammore, post: 1870308, member: 87459”]Ohhh, God! I can’t hear it. It’s totally unacceptable. How do you feel?
I really hope you haven’t lost anything except the time. don’t be disappointed you know you’ll find a relevant variant as soon as possible. Can I be interested where you search for a new center?
Is this still Ukraine or you had completely lost your faith to their responsibility?[/QUOTE]
Hello Mydreammore. it’s been a while since my last visit and I actually thought I wouldn’t post any updates but I need to share now.
You are right, that negative experience made me very unsure about Ukraine as a destination for surrogacy. Hopefully we didn’t leave the country and used our last chance there. A clinic was different, much smaller but full of crowds, mostly Italian and Spanish couples as I understood. Managers and doctors were very busy and we got a bit less attention in comparison to our previous experience. However, we decided not to focus on this as our aim was to have a baby not to have sweet talking with managers. Anyway, we had consultation and signed VIP surrogacy contract and our surrogate mother was found within a month! MONTH! That’s unbelievable because we were waiting for more than 2 months and nothing changed. Now my wonderful news is that our surrogate mother is pregnant and today she had a 6week scan! It’s twins!!! The only thing I regret is that we lost our time and money when applied to the wrong clinic.
I hope you’re doing well x


#20

[QUOTE=“harami.lana, post: 1870590, member: 87422”]Hello Mydreammore. it’s been a while since my last visit and I actually thought I wouldn’t post any updates but I need to share now.
You are right, that negative experience made me very unsure about Ukraine as a destination for surrogacy. Hopefully we didn’t leave the country and used our last chance there. A clinic was different, much smaller but full of crowds, mostly Italian and Spanish couples as I understood. Managers and doctors were very busy and we got a bit less attention in comparison to our previous experience. However, we decided not to focus on this as our aim was to have a baby not to have sweet talking with managers. Anyway, we had consultation and signed VIP surrogacy contract and our surrogate mother was found within a month! MONTH! That’s unbelievable because we were waiting for more than 2 months and nothing changed. Now my wonderful news is that our surrogate mother is pregnant and today she had a 6week scan! It’s twins!!! The only thing I regret is that we lost our time and money when applied to the wrong clinic.
I hope you’re doing well x[/QUOTE]

Wow! Wow! Wow! My dear that is really incredible event! It happens to you. I can report I feel wonderful with my news. My surrogate is also pregnant my twins lie under her heart. And this makes us feel young again and full of energy.
I didn’t think you were right because it seemed you tried to solve your relation problems with help of third child. But I can’t restrain my emotions regarding the amazing fact of your progress.
I hope it will make your family stronger.