Pregnancy and new job


#1

Hoping someone can share some advice. I ended up taking a new job in June, I couldn’t wait anymore and it was a good opportunity. We had planned on FET in June also and went ahead with it - after so many failures I just wanted to use our last frozen embryo and plan for another IVF next year. Well so far, we are pregnant (knock on wood) !

So now I have to tell the boss, probably will do it end of September or early October - depending when I start to show. Anyone have any advice on how to approach him and what to say? I want to make sure he knows I’m committed to the job now and after my leave. I want to be excited, but the nervousness of telling my boss it taking away from that. I guess worst case is he will fire me? We are under 50 employees, so I guess it could happen. I feel that I am already proving myself and will even more so by the time it comes to tel him. TIA.


#2

Can you wait to tell him after your probation period is over? You might be showing by then though. I don’t see them firing you. Well at least I hope not. Best wishes & congrats.


#3

I think you should consider between risk and benefit of that before doing anything further.

Maybe it’s a really good opportunity and you don’t want to give up the job; but there is still many other chances…just like that…or even better in the future, right? And now, you’re pregnant after so much trying, why don’t we just celebrate for that & accept anything might happen? Sometimes…happiness is also a result of sacrifice…

However, i agree with the idea of Webelieveinmiracles…it’s much better to let people know after signing the contract. Let’s prove to them how good you are now and your chance to stay in this job is undiscussable any longer!

Goodluck…


#4

Well my intro period is over at the end of August, so I’ll be in the clear for that. I’m not on a contract. It’s just making me anxious.


#5

If I could go back, I would never tell! I told early on and almost lost my contract. Just consider that if you don’t tell your boss, you can’t tell anyone else, because pregnancy gossip is the best kind of gossip! Your boss will end up finding out through the grapevine and you might think you’re keeping your secret when they already know.


#6

Wow I don’t know what kind of job you have that you have to worry about keeping your job after telling them. It’s not like you deceived them and were pregnant when you took the job. I would wait to tell ANYONE at the company until you are in the 2nd trimester. I would celebrate with hubby at home and maybe a few girlfriends who do not work there. I would then be honest with your boss and let him know that you found out shortly after starting that you were pregnant and wanted to wait until the 2nd trimester. Now you are pregnant and you are planning on working until the baby comes and you are planning on coming back after x weeks of maternity leave. Besides by the time you are in the 2nd trimester you might have seen another female employee showing pregnancy by then and know how she is “dealt” with? I’m sorry you have to even worry about this, but jobs come and go having this baby is the most important and hardest thing for some of us to obtain.


#7

I’d wait as long as possible to tell them. For sure until the second trimester. With some careful clothing choices you should be OK!

It’s illegal to be fired for pregnancy, assuming you live in the US. A federal law is in place. Of course they could always make something up, not all employers are on the up and up. Hopefully it will be no problem though.


#8

I work a regular office job. I don’t think they will fire me, but you never know. Florida’s employment laws don’t favor the worker.

I just want to make sure that I’m doing everything right when I tell him. I plan to hold off telling him until I start to show or October, whichever comes first. I will be 3.5 - 4 months then and 5 months should be enough time for him to get everything in order. I plan to take 6 weeks of short term disability, we can’t afford to take anymore and I work close to home so I’m hoping to work out a deal where I can come in earlier/stay later and take a longer lunch to go home everyday.


#9

I second everything Bunny said and want to share that it is NOT illegal to be fired for being pregnant in the US. SOME states have laws that will protect you and some states do not. It all depends on where you live and the size of your company.

After I announced my pregnancy at work, my project manager began harassing me and the owner of the company started to be late in paying me. That went on for 6 months. A week before I was due to go on maternity leave, they “laid me off” then spent another week harassing me and blackmailing me into giving up my contract (which guaranteed me 6 months severance) or they were going to cut me off from health insurance and “not play nice” and hold my severance pay as long as they possibly could and make me take them to court.

The stress of that caused my blood pressure to go through the roof and my babies to be born a month early. I had ZERO recourse.

Celebrate your pregnancy. Tell them if you want to, but you are under no legal obligation to do so. I’d go into this with the assumption of the worst case scenario happening and plan for that and then let it go. This is your time to enjoy. Find a way to have a safety net that doesn’t rely on the company you work for doing the right thing.


#10

Also, I want to add that mine is basically the worst case scenario experience but I highly recommend everyone make sure they know the laws for their state (employment law follows the employee not the employer in terms of home state) and make sure that you document ALL conversations with a followup email and keep thorough records. You may never need them, but if you do, it’s priceless.


#11

[QUOTE=silverbrumby]I second everything Bunny said and want to share that it is NOT illegal to be fired for being pregnant in the US. SOME states have laws that will protect you and some states do not. It all depends on where you live and the size of your company.

After I announced my pregnancy at work, my project manager began harassing me and the owner of the company started to be late in paying me. That went on for 6 months. A week before I was due to go on maternity leave, they “laid me off” then spent another week harassing me and blackmailing me into giving up my contract (which guaranteed me 6 months severance) or they were going to cut me off from health insurance and “not play nice” and hold my severance pay as long as they possibly could and make me take them to court.

The stress of that caused my blood pressure to go through the roof and my babies to be born a month early. I had ZERO recourse.

Celebrate your pregnancy. Tell them if you want to, but you are under no legal obligation to do so. I’d go into this with the assumption of the worst case scenario happening and plan for that and then let it go. This is your time to enjoy. Find a way to have a safety net that doesn’t rely on the company you work for doing the right thing.[/QUOTE]

Wow, what jerks! You know if this how I were to be treated, then I would be happy they lay me off. I’m pretty confident I will find work and if this is how they treat people, I would start looking for another job ASAP anyway.

Everyone seems nice here. We are a very small company. The CEO and my boss seem like family men. The other lady I work with has 2 daughters of her own. The HR lady is family oriented as well. I know how to be professional and I will not slack or call in sick (if I can avoid it). There is opportunity to work from home here, so if anything, I will do that. I am even thinking of suggesting to the boss to take on a project that we haven’t had time for (like database cleanup) while I’m on leave.


#12

I went through sort of the same thing, except that I got my job while I was already pregnant. I didnt actively try to hide it but I was interviewing with two men… and expected that they likely would not notice. But I really didnt expect to get the job and when I did… I went ahead and told them. They were nice about it and everything worked out fine. You are under no obligation to tell them until much further along in your pregnancy. I wouldnt tell them until you are showing and past the 12 week mark.


#13

I hate to be a stickler but there (really!) are federal laws in place that protect pregnancy and medical conditions related to pregnancy - its for employers of more than 15 persons, certain government workers, etc. This applies even if you are an “at will” employee.

Its what those big, ugly laminated posters in the lunchroom talk about. :wink:


#14

Yes but that doesnt mean they wont make it very difficult for you. They can just make the work environment horrible in order to try to get you to quit. There are all kinds of ways that a pregnant woman can be abused in the work place. You dont have any idea how they will handle it until it is too late. So its best to protect yourself as much as possible.


#15

I agree, you don’t know how an employer will react. I’m a contractor and I told my agency when I was doing ivf because the lady in charge is a fellow infertile and we’d had many candid conversations about it. Fast forward a month, and the other lady that runs the agency called with a year-long job for me. I accepted and an hour later I got a call from the infertile agency lady who then told me that the contract wouldn’t be appropriate for me since I would need to take a leave. My agency is ALL women, and 99% have young children, so I was really shocked that they would react to a pregnancy like that! In the end I got to keep the contract, but I will proceed with caution if I’m ever lucky enough to be in the same situation. Unfortunately as a contractor I’m not eligible for employee protections.


#16

[QUOTE=Hopeful_in_CA]I hate to be a stickler but there (really!) are federal laws in place that protect pregnancy and medical conditions related to pregnancy - its for employers of more than 15 persons, certain government workers, etc. This applies even if you are an “at will” employee.

Its what those big, ugly laminated posters in the lunchroom talk about. ;)[/QUOTE]

I know what you are talking about, but there is a loop hole in Florida that makes suing the employer for this very difficult. Florida’s employment law mirrors the federal law, except that the federal law mentions pregnancy while the Florida law does not. This makes it difficult in court.

As I said, I plan to hold out on telling them as long as I possibly can - I"m hoping October. It will be what it will be. It’s unfair all this stuff some of you ladies had to endure.