Pregnancy strain


#1

Hi all, first time posting so please excuse any stupidity and thanks in advance.

So me and the wife have been trying for our second baby for about two years, at first it was one thing and then the next, we followed the process from doctor to specialist and now on clomid at 50g, just finished our third cycle and still no luck.
We have had regular sex to the point it’s just a task for her now and that’s not helping the situation.

My question is can I get some advice in comforting her when it doesn’t happen. I know a simple cuddle doesn’t just fix things but if someone could lend me a hand that would be great.
Thanks again


#2

Take her and your 1st child and get out of the house for the day. Go to the zoo, the park, the lake, something to remind her that she’ll be ok and life can be beautiful as it is. Worked for me every time :slight_smile:


#3

Get involved and show interest. Ask her what you can do. Don’t assume. Lack of involvement on the husband’s part is a frequent complaint around here. It won’t magically take her pain away when you get bad news, but knowing she’s not the only one that cares will pay off in the long run.


#4

Thanks both.
We get out of the house and that sort of stuff but in regards to “being there” as is said it’s not that easy. I can’t say honey I understand, because I don’t. If we can’t have another child then I’m ok with that but that doesn’t help much. I tell her I love her every day and show it but I still feel I’m missing something.


#5

My DH has been great… I know he does get disappointed each month right along with me… but he always seems to be the optimistic one. He tells me things he has researched (only when a certain situation comes up) so I never feel like he blames or is disappointed in me… which it sounds like you are also a great support for her as well.

I would recommend just keep doing what you are doing. You may not feel that you are doing enough; but you just being the supportive husband that you are is doing so much. Just comfort her when she needs comfort, and be a listening ear when she wants to talk/vent about what’s bothering her. That is all we could ever ask for :grouphug:


#6

We were in the same position for three years–waiting for a sibling for my daughter. My husband was the one in our family who kept me going. I would have given up if not for him. He kept reminding me that we were waiting for something wonderful to happen and that we were already so lucky to have our beautiful daughter. “An embarrassment of riches,” he always said. When I was at my lowest, he helped to put it all in perspective for me.

One thing he could have done more of, and he did step up towards the end of our journey, was acknowledge the physical and emotional stress I was under. Sometimes I felt like he didn’t understand why trying was effecting me more than him. The times when he’d tell me that he admired me and that I was brave to do all these cycles were very special and important in keeping me going.