I have a story I think is worth sharing. I don’t know if it will help anyone. Hopefully, at the very least, it will give comfort to some.
I am 34 years old. I was married very young and had two children by the time I was 21 with no fertility issues. I divorced shortly after and went to college. I became a Registered Nurse. I married my current husband when I was 28. He was considerably older and had a vasectomy years 14 before. I had always wanted more kids because when I was younger I certainly didn’t appreciate the whole motherhood experience and I was in a place later, as I was older, that I could better provide for my family. So immediately after getting married we began trying to conceive (my husband had a reversal months before the wedding). After several months and nothing happening, we realized the vasectomy reversal had failed. He had a zero sperm count. We then tried IVF. We had two failed attempts. I don’t remember every specific detail. But the first time, because of the treatment regimen I was on, I only produced 7 eggs. Two eggs, one grade 3 and one grade 4, were placed back inside me. The other eggs weren’t viable to freeze. They retrieved my husband’s sperm through aspiration and froze some for later. It failed. Less than a year later we did it again. I don’t remember the exact egg count but it was a significant amount. They used my husband’s frozen sperm from the first IVF. Two eggs, one grade 2 and one grade 3, were placed back inside me. Again, a failure. No eggs made it to freeze for later. Throughout the entire process I became somewhat obsessed with our infertility issue. All of my blood work were indicative of me being fertile. I believe my LH/FSH were at a 1:1 ratio at around 6. I don’t remember the other lab values but they were normal. I even went to another clinic and paid more money to have the tests ran again. I also had a hysterosalpingogram. All were normal. Nobody could tell us why our IVF attempts failed. I almost wanted to find something wrong with me so that I could just have that answer. I wasn’t comfortable with “we don’t know.”
Fast forward to five years later. My kids got older and began high school. My husband began planning for a life of retirement. When the issue would come up about trying again for a baby he would ultimately say, “Don’t you think enough is enough?” I still wanted to build our family. It was obvious we were going in two separate directions. We separated. He began dating someone his own age, with older kids, and who was content with the same ideas of retirement. I began dating too. I got on birth control pills just as a precaution. I adamantly believed that I was infertile so if I missed a pill I wasn’t too concerned. I didn’t take two the next day as the directions said. After about a month of feeling really crappy I decided that I was going to go to the doctor for a check up. I realized that I hadn’t had a normal period in over two months. I had a little brown spotting over the months since my last period but didn’t think much of it. I thought possibly I was going through pre-menopause. I took a home pregnancy test just to rule it out before I went in to get checked. It was :bfp: I couldn’t believe it. I am 9 weeks now. Doing the math, I got pregnant only a few months after I began dating my current partner.
While I am saddened by the demise of my marriage, I am thrilled about having a baby. I am not advocating divorce by any means. My intent of sharing my story is to show people that even though you may not know the reason for your infertility, there is still hope. Maybe if my husband and I would have tried IVF again, it may have been a success. I’ve heard of people’s chemistry just not matching and therefore they just cannot conceive. I think we may have been successful if we would have tried a sperm bank. But we just became convinced that we would and could not have a child no matter what methods were tried.
One other thing I’d like to put out there is that I began using baby Aspirin last because clotting disorders run on my mother’s side and my dad died in his 50s of cardiac disease. I recently learned that baby Aspirin may increase fertility. I am not sure if this contributed to my current pregnancy but I will just say that I was not taking it during my fertility treatments.