Pregnant women or women who just had kids telling me I shouldn't get pregnant


#1

Next time a pregnant woman or a woman who has a kid, complains about how awful pregnancy is or how I am crazy to try to get pregnant, I am going to strangle this person.

I just went in to have an ultrasound today, on day 13, to see if my body was going to ovulate for IUI. I took 150 mg of Clomid from Day 3 through Day 7. It didn’t work. No dominant follicle.

My HSG test was good. My husband’s sperm analysis was good. My clomid challenge test was also good. But, I have been on Clomid for 6 months, and no pregnancy.

I am in grad school, and so I am a little stressed. I hate people who tell me, I should give this one friend of me a pass, because she is all hormonal after having a kid, so therefore she is likely to say insensitive things, like why don’t you just adopt? This person is my friend, but I have suppressed all my anger, and I have not responded with the Go to Hell response, I would very much like to give.

I have RA and migraines, so trying to get pregnant, is not doing wonders for my joints or my head.

I need supportive friends. Right now, I have nil. No one understands what it is like to go for months and have nothing happen. I tried for a year when I was 27, but then I got sick and was diagnosed with RA, and my doctors told me I had to stop trying to conceive for a while.

It sucked.

Lord, I hope my fertility doctor e-mails me back with a good plan.

Are there other drugs that work better than Clomid?:grr::af::(:mad:


#2

:welcome: I’m sorry about your cycle and that your friend was so insensitive but unfortunately it’s just one of the many things we have to put up with while going through infertility. Just remember that they mean well and they don’t realise that saying stuff like that is hurtful. A lot of the time they just don’t know what else to say. Next time that happens just say to them ‘I’d give up everything to be where you are right now’. Usually this is enough to make them realise what they’ve said. As for the stronger drugs than clomid, there are plenty. Clomid didn’t work for me either but injectables did. You can use the injections without doing IVF, talk to your RE about it. Wishing you all the best. :flower:


#3

sorry! my sil who knows i am ttc said to me, why dont you take my baby for a few days? you will see you really dont want one, after all!:grr:


#4

my sister, who has two kids, is always asking me if I really want a baby, she loves her kids but it is still frustrating to hear people complain about them. They don’t know how lucky they have it.

Or those people that keep getting pregnant without even trying and telling me how easy it was for them.


#5

[quote=lemontree]my sister, who has two kids, is always asking me if I really want a baby, she loves her kids but it is still frustrating to hear people complain about them. They don’t know how lucky they have it.

Or those people that keep getting pregnant without even trying and telling me how easy it was for them.[/quote]

I HAVE TWO FRIENDS A MY SISTER ARE PREGNANT RIGHT NOW. ALL OF THEM HAVING GIRLS.
EVERYDAY MY FRIENDS EMAIL ME UPDATES.
MY SISTER EXPECTING TWINS…THEY ALL COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW BIG THEY ARE…

I JUST SMILE AND IGNORE:flower:


#6

not all friends are best friends

I went through the breakup of an old friendship a few years ago that was surprisingly traumatic for me (not fertility related, just sort of grew into different people). I’ll never forget the advice a coworker gave me.

Paraphrasing, she said that the hurtful things my friend did didn’t mean that we couldn’t ever be friends again. We would just have to be friends with a qualifier - I had learned something about her and what it would be like to be friends with her. So maybe we’d never be best friends again, going out for dessert instead of dinner (we once ordered every dessert on the menu instead of real food) or staying up late dishing about boys (well, we were young), but she could still be in my life as the kind of person on my rec softball team, etc. My coworker basically told me to look on this as a learning experience - be disappointed that we weren’t best friends, sure, but don’t cut her out of my life over the whole incident.

I think infertility is like that. It helps you learn how strong you are and it teaches you something about the people around you. Maybe it’s something you didn’t really want to know (who wants to know their family is insensitive or that they aren’t as strong as they want to be), but it helps you know early on that you need to develop a different support network as the going-gets-tougher. (Like, perhaps maybe a group of fantastic people in an online forum? :grouphug:)