Running out of ideas


#1

I wasn’t sure where to put this, but since it’s about our upcoming ICSI, I decided to put it here.

We looked into a low interest loan, but was denied b/c we’ve never had a personal loan that big. I have a mortgage and we each have our car loans, which I paid mine off already. But never a large personal loan.

Anyway, I don’t want to go with the finance companies the RE’s office suggested b/c all it is is a company that matches you with a credit card that best fits your needs/qualifications. I have cards; if I wanted to charge it, I would have already.

So RE’s office says they can do in-house financing with us, but we have to put 3k down by mid-june. I have 2k saved…but that’s going to meds b/c we didn’t qualify for the free meds program. So now the problem is where do I get the 3k?

I feel like the gods are against me. I’ve worked so hard up to this point to save and going to dr appts, and DH’s labs/tests, and I feel like we’ll have to scrap it all b/c of the 3k. Do I have any business having a child if I can’t even think of the 3k? It’s just not fair that we have to spend all this just for a chance. Ppl complain children are expensive…but little do they know…

What would you do? Keep going? Any ideas? Or give up another hopeful year? RE says I have age on my side and health. What if a year from now that’s not the same situation? I’m afraid waiting will hinder our chances.

Just need some support/ideas.

Thanks.


#2

Borrow from a family member? Home equity line of credit? Wait until you’ve saved some more?

From my perspective, you have all the time in the world, but I know any delay seems like forever.


#3

if you have good credit I would first check with your local credit unions. some time they have lower interest rates on personal loans. I know in my case they were as low as 3%
a couple of years ago.

also you may not have all the money up front now but that does not mean you can’t or shouldnt pursue parent hood with the resources you have. think you have a house /mortgage but you didn’t pay for that all up front. a child is more important than a house.


#4

Credit unions are a good idea. Check with them first. If you don’t have other options then it might be best to wait another year and save. Have you considered changing jobs to a company that covers IVF? You do have age on your side so stay positive! You never know when it could happen naturally. :slight_smile:


#5

[FONT=‘Segoe UI Mono’][SIZE=3]Is there anything you can possibly put up for sale? Borrow a portion from a close friend or relative? Can your RE donate any medication to you? Also, have you looked into ordering your medication from overseas? IVFmeds or IVFstar? I have bought from both of these companies and no issues. My most recent transaction has been with IVFStar. I saved a ton. Once I wired the money the medication was received within 6 days. My IVF coordinator deals with this company on a daily basis and I highly recommend them. [/SIZE][/FONT]


#6

I have been in your shoes (many times actually), and we always found a way to come up with the money. Are we in a lot of debt because of it…yes! Was it worth it in the end…of course! We now have two hansome little boys, but not before spending thousands of dollars (most of which was borrowed).

Just because we had to borrow money does that make us any less of parents. No, think about it, most people give birth to kids with no expense (other than the actual birth cost). Those of us who are willing to go into debt to have them, are likely to appreciate them a tad bit more than the average joe.

As far as the money is concerned…a local bank could likely loan you the $3,000 then you can use your clinic for the rest. We recently took out a loan for $4,000 to do our last FET and the loan officer told my hubby that anything under $5,000 was super easy to get.

We were also able to save thousands of dollars along the way because of our clinic…you may want to check this out…Free IVF Meds!!! | IVF Success Stories - Overcoming Infertility | IVF Success Stories - Overcoming Infertility

Good luck to you, don’t give up… it is all worth it in the end!


#7

I borrowed some money from my tax account since I knew my tax liability would be lower due to ivf expenses. Since I’m self employed I have all my tax money liquid in a bank account, but if you’re an employee you could have you and your husband’s employers change your withholdings to nothing to temporarily beef up your pay check.


#8

We took out a loan against our 401k. You pay it back to yourself with interest. Meds we paid for out of our checking that we saved.
But like someone else said it doesnt make you any less of parents in the end because you had a hard time coming up with the money.
We have gone through and paid alot to attempt to try to have a baby! Some things just seem fair. But hang in there. As I type this my miracle baby is sleeping on my chest :slight_smile: its worth it in the end!


#9

If this is your first IVF ask your doctor if their are any studies that you qualify for. We paid out of pocket for our first IVF, but were lucky enough to get into a study so we didn’t pay as much and my meds were totally covered. That year we used a tax break that we got money we saved and a loan from my sister. In our case the great thing has been my sister has never asked for us to pay back the money yet. She knows we would give anything to have children, which brings me to the next suggestion we did. It’s not for everyone and it’s not been completely easy for us, but move to a state were infertility is mandated by insurance. We moved 1800 miles from friends and family and have had the rest of our IVF paid for by insurance. Know though there are loop holes in the law and there are ways for companies in those states not to have to pay for the treatments. We found out the loop holes after my hubby had taken his job and we were already moving. We moved anyways and were lucky enough to have the insurance up until my Daughter was born. While I was pregnant with Sammie the company changed health plans and we lost all infertility treatments. I have since changed jobs and my current job has health insurance that pays for the IVF, but like someone else we moved to donor sperm and the health insurance did not pay for that. My hubby has been unemployed for almost two years and we still wanted to do it, so we skipped a mortgage payment (definitely not for everyone), but knowing we would have taxes coming and other things we were counting on (but didn’t get) we felt it was worth it. I am now 10 weeks pregnant which I hope to be with the child we bring home this time! It’s worth all the sacrifice and you are no less of a parent because you are struggling to find money to pay for treatments than someone who can screw their mate and get pregnant! We just want it more sometimes because of the lengths we are willing to go to have our families. Also there have been some great suggestions a garage sale, when we were trying to come up with the money with our first I started couponing and yes I do extreme (not totally like the show but close to it) to pay for the treatment. It was such an eye opener the savings we found. This is not an easy process no matter where you try to find the money. I understand feeling like time is against you. I don’t know how many times I heard time is on your side when I was your age! It’s frustrating and doesn’t make this easier. As it turned out for us time wasn’t completely on our side as it took lots of treatments to get were we are! Had we stayed and paid out of pocket for all of those treatments we would have done it, but it would have taken far longer than having my insurance pay. The treatments would have been far more spread out.

Good Luck to your and your hubby!


#10

Oh, yeah! Like holdingmybreath said, look for studies!! I feel like such an idiot for not suggesting that - duh! My daughter is the result of a free IVF I got through a study. LOVE ME A STUDY!!! :slight_smile:


#11

Ok. So studies…I looked at the New Hope one…I weigh too much. I asked about donated meds, and the person in charge said that it’s very little so they just don’t save it…so no donations. We are teachers, so we have TRS, not 401ks. I’ve mentioned borrowing against my TRS, but I do need to look more into that. I don’t want to pull it all out, b/c if I do then I’d have to buy back my years and the price just went up on the them. So I’d lose money that way.

I spoke to my parents, and although they are not wealthy and have their own struggles, my dad said , “Don’t worry. I’m thinking.” That brings me to tears. I just don’t want him pulling loans for us or working overtime for me.

I am applying for summer school teaching and if there’s no positions, I’m applying for office work in the summer. Our thing is that we would more than likely qualify for 3k loan, but how is that effective if in the end we owe to the loan and the RE for the rest? Then that’s 2 payments rather than one if we could get all the money from one source.

So I guess if I could borrow from a family member, that’d be best, b/c they’d be more lenient on how much/when to pay back the 3k and we could focus on the rest that we owe to the RE. Make sense?

If I could ask a family member, how did you go about it? It’s an awkward conversation. How do you start? What do you offer to pay? Etc…

I appreciate you ladies very much!


#12

Oh and my RE’s office says they only work with Freedom Fertility (or is it the other way). I know that’s weird, but I have asked.

Also, Anamax…that’s a good idea about withholdings. I’m going to look into that also. With all the money spent on IVF this year, we’ll probably still get money back from taxes anyway. Sad right? Lol.


#13

If anyone can help…someone PM’d me about a month or 2 ago about the meds she had taken for her protocol. But I accidently erased her email. And she said she’d get back in touch later b/c she was due in about a week from the time of the PM. And I never heard from her again. I don’t remember her screen name. But I think her first name was Rachael.

If this is you, PM me or if you know who I’m talking about, let me know.

Thanks.


#14

[quote=Gigi3]

So I guess if I could borrow from a family member, that’d be best, b/c they’d be more lenient on how much/when to pay back the 3k and we could focus on the rest that we owe to the RE. Make sense?

If I could ask a family member, how did you go about it? It’s an awkward conversation. How do you start? What do you offer to pay? Etc…

I appreciate you ladies very much![/quote]

We are very close to our family and have many members who would likely lend to us if we asked…but I would not do it. Not saying you shouldn’t, it is just a sticky situation. I would rather be bad off with a bank and my credit than ruin or strain a family relationship. This may not apply to you, just something to think about.

An alternative you could use is asking for a co-signer. We did this with our first fertility loan. That way the relative just has to give their signature not their actual money. This could be a sticky situation also, but only if you de-faulted on the loan. For us it seemed much easier to ask someone with great credit built up to back us, then to ask for the actual loan. You may be able to get the full loan this way…just an idea :).


#15

[quote=Gigi3]Oh and my RE’s office says they only work with Freedom Fertility (or is it the other way). I know that’s weird, but I have asked.
[/quote]

Could you tell your clinic you want to handle the meds on your own?? Not have them call them in for you??? Not sure if that would work, just a thought!

As for the TRS. We are both teachers as well, and we seriously looked into this. But the more I looked into it I realized that it was not only a bad idea (which I really already knew), but it was pretty much impossible. Not sure if it works the same in all states, but in Texas, you have to be out of the teaching profession all together to be able to take it out. Not sure the specifics, it has been a while since looking it all up, but I think you could not return to teaching for at least 6 months after taking it out. Someone please correct me if I am wrong on all this!!


#16

[quote=brit1612]Could you tell your clinic you want to handle the meds on your own?? Not have them call them in for you??? Not sure if that would work, just a thought!

As for the TRS. We are both teachers as well, and we seriously looked into this. But the more I looked into it I realized that it was not only a bad idea (which I really already knew), but it was pretty much impossible. Not sure if it works the same in all states, but in Texas, you have to be out of the teaching profession all together to be able to take it out. Not sure the specifics, it has been a while since looking it all up, but I think you could not return to teaching for at least 6 months after taking it out. Someone please correct me if I am wrong on all this!![/quote]

So my DH knows about about TRS. We are in Tx too. He said we could borrow but you lose the interest you could have accumulated. YOu can buy back the years but it’s almost double what you would have. So if we borrow 3k, and we want to buy back the year it took to get it, it would cost 5k-6k. So DH is against it.

If you want to take it all out, then you would have to be out of the profession at least a year…I think.


#17

Well my cycle started and I panicked. I knew I was due my tax refund so I just didn’t pay my mortgage. I have a part time job where if I work today I get paid the next business day. I also borrowed $800 from family. I bought meds from other places. I also found 2 checks that I forgot about. My clinic just said have the money paid off by transfer.
Looking back I don’t regret anything. My taxes will eventually come whenever they release the refunds with the college credit and the mortgage will be paid. Where there’s a will there’s a way. Gl


#18

[FONT=‘Segoe UI Mono’]Gigi3 I found this and thought I’d share. Not everyone agrees but I thought it was worth posting![/FONT][FONT=‘Segoe UI Mono’][/FONT]
[FONT=‘Segoe UI Mono’]Jesus commands us not to store up earthly treasures. Why? Because they’re bad? No. Because [B]they won’t last![/B][/FONT]
[FONT=‘Segoe UI Mono’]Jesus makes absolutely clear that all earthly treasures will not last. [B]Either they will leave you while you live, or you will leave them when you die. There are no exceptions.[/B][/FONT]
[FONT=‘Segoe UI Mono’]Proverbs 23:5 says, [I]Cast but a glance at riches, and they are gone, for they will surely sprout wings and fly off to the sky like an eagle.[/I] Next time you buy something you really care about, imagine it sprouting wings and flying off. That will help you keep an eternal perspective, remembering that every earthly treasure is temporary.[/FONT][FONT=‘Segoe UI Mono’][/FONT]
[FONT=‘Segoe UI Mono’] [/FONT]


#19

[quote=Webelieveinmiracles][FONT=Segoe UI Mono]Gigi3 I found this and thought I’d share. Not everyone agrees but I thought it was worth posting![/FONT]
[FONT=Segoe UI Mono]Jesus commands us not to store up earthly treasures. Why? Because they’re bad? No. Because [B]they won’t last![/B][/FONT]
[FONT=Segoe UI Mono]Jesus makes absolutely clear that all earthly treasures will not last. [B]Either they will leave you while you live, or you will leave them when you die. There are no exceptions.[/B][/FONT]
[FONT=Segoe UI Mono]Proverbs 23:5 says, [I]Cast but a glance at riches, and they are gone, for they will surely sprout wings and fly off to the sky like an eagle.[/I] Next time you buy something you really care about, imagine it sprouting wings and flying off. That will help you keep an eternal perspective, remembering that every earthly treasure is temporary.[/FONT]
[/quote]

Although, I enjoy splurging every once in a while…like everyone else…lol, I agree. That’s what I always point out to my DH. He’s so driven when it comes to money, retirement plans, etc. And I know that future financial plans are important, but I also think there can be a balance. I always tell DH, what good is a big house (he wants one in the future) if we have no one, not a baby, to fill it with toys and mess and love? I always win the argument. Lol, but it’s hard on him, and it’s hard on me. I’m sure you know the feeling all too well.


#20

[quote=Gigi3]So my DH knows about about TRS. We are in Tx too. He said we could borrow but you lose the interest you could have accumulated. YOu can buy back the years but it’s almost double what you would have. So if we borrow 3k, and we want to buy back the year it took to get it, it would cost 5k-6k. So DH is against it.

If you want to take it all out, then you would have to be out of the profession at least a year…I think.[/quote]

Ya, I knew about having to buy back the years (my mother in law did this years ago and said it was a big mistake). Sorry…wasn’t trying to misinform anyone, just knew I had found something about taking out the money and not being in education for a year.

I guess you are saying you are allowed to take part of it out…just not all, if you plan on continuing to teach?

Where in Texas are you?? Doesn’t it suck that Texas is a mandated state but we still don’t get coverage as teachers!! This makes me sooo mad!