Its really tough when you have to pay 100% out of pocket… we had to as well. And despite that fact that I never thought it was possible, we have managed to deal with the debt etc. I agree with Brit, for me, asking family is tough. My brothers are pretty wealthy (to put it mildly) and one of them even offered me the money, but I just didn’t feel right about it and didn’t want any hard feelings later. And as my DH and I have pretty good jobs, I felt we would feel better about things down the road if we did it ourselves! We took out loans, home equity lines, used credit cards etc to make it work… and $40,000 later we have achieved 2 pregnancies and are going to have 3 kiddos! Well worth the effort!!! We still have about half of our debt left to pay… but we’re managing!
I wish I had some great advise for you but seriously, where there’s a will there’s a way! Get creative! Or if you decide to borrow from family, I would recommend you have the terms very clearly defined before you take the money (what type of payments you will be making, when the total will be paid off, etc.)
Remember, out of pocket medical expenses (even IUIs, IVF, meds, etc) are deductible on your income taxes! It has to be above 7.5% of your annual income, but it helps. We spent $35,000 the year we got pregnant with my daughter and we got about $8,000 back in taxes to help pay off the debt. With our twins, the FET was only $5,000 so we weren’t able to use its as a deduction this time… but if you spend enough, you can!
Good luck!!! You do have time on your side, so if you have to take another year to save up, its really not the end of the world… although I know it seems like it now!