Scared and need support!


I’m beginning BCP next month and then will begin stims in January for my first IVF attempt. This will be my only attempt and I’m completely terrified that it won’t work and I will never be a mom! I’ve been trying for 5 years and have had 4 failed IUI’s (one very low chemical). I’m beginning my 2ww for a natural cycle and praying so hard that I will just get my miracle and not have to proceed to IVF but most likely that is not going to happen.

All I keep thinking about is the procedure and the what if’s and it is driving me crazy! I’m not sleeping well, my face is breaking out and I’ve been grinding my teeth a lot when I’m sleeping. I’m trying to stay positive that it will work but I’m completely stressed out and don’t know what to do. I keep thinking about what if it doesn’t work? How will I be able to handle this? I’m scared it is going to destroy me and my marriage!

Just looking for support and advice from someone that understands…


I am so sorry you are worrying so much. I was like that with my initial IVF as well. I finally decided I need to do something to manage all the stress and worry and set aside 30-60 minutes a day just for me. Sometimes I took a walk, sometimes I ate gelato, sometimes I mediated (there are some decent IVF meditations on iTunes), I took long baths, and when I could afford it, I got a massage. It did help me feel slightly less frenzied.

I wish there was something I could say that would reassure you, but IVF is a very up down, up down, roller coaster of a process, and there are so so many variables. Take a deep breath, and try to approach it one day at a time… that is what I have been trying to do.


I completely understand where you are coming from. I was worried sick about my IVF cycles. Not only do they take an emotional toll but they take a huge financial toll. I finally found a book that discussed the emotional aspects of IVF: Conquering Infertility: Dr. Alice Domar’s Mind/Body Guide to Enhancing Fertility and Coping with Infertility . I recommend this book to you! It made me feel like I was back in charge of my life which put my mind at ease.

I wish you the best of luck and I pray that you will find peace through this terribly stressful process.


I’ve been in your shoes. Our first IVF we decided was our one and only shot before we moved on to foster to adoption. I was a nervous wreck, but it WORKED! My almost 3 year old miracle is taking a nap in the next room. Take it a day at a time and best wishes to you!


Hi Rachel,

I was where you are not quite a year ago. First, take a deep breath…IVF is much more complex and therefore has higher success rates than IUI. So- failed IUI’s do not automatically equate to a failed IVF. Like you, we gave IVF one chance. We had to save up as our insurance did not cover any of it. That was scary. However- I can tell you it was absolutely worth it! Try to only think positive thoughts and treat yourself well throughout the IVF process. It is hard, mentally and physically at times so you need to make sure you give yourself the extra attention and rest that you need. I wish you the very best and am hoping you get your BFP!!


Sorry you are having to deal with all of these emotions. It sounds like we are on similar schedules. I will start bcp some time next week, then will have my frosties transferred the following cycle (january). IVF is such a rollercoaster, but it does create miracles. Our little one is a donor IVF miracle boy! Good luck to you, I hope this is your time. :slight_smile:


Thank you everyone for your support and advice! It helped more then you know!