When selecting an egg donor, did you pick someone who resembled you? Were her looks important? Also, did you go with a proven donor?
Choosing our donor
For us we looked at general features first haircolor, eye color, height and nationality. We chose a top three from their donor list. After that we were sent about 20 page history on each of the donors we were considering. It included family history, favorites (food, color, subject, books, movies etc). We were very lucky that our first choice matched my likes in many instances. After we were about 95% sure we got to see her picture and we found out that she had a successful previous cycle.
Now we are just waiting to see if she was successful for us.
We looked for someone who had similar physical characteristics as I do… Coloring/height/weight. After that, we looked at medical history and family medical history, donor’s education. We also had audio interview clips of each donor we were interested in, so we were able to hear her speak and get some sort of idea of her personality.
Our donor was a first time donor, but we both loved her from the beginning and luckily it worked out great.
Our criteria in order from most important down…
Age, skin color, proven, height, eye color (anything but brown), blood type, personal question/interview answers, and hair color (though way less important).
We wanted a proven donor under 25 years old, as we felt that she would be our best chance for success. Our sperm donor was 28, and not proven as far as I was aware!
Thanks ladies for sharing. Our first donor was 21, bio son, excellent hormones, but never donated before. She looked a lot like my family. Our cycle was a bust. We only had 6 eggs retrieved, 4 mature, and 3 fertilized. We implanted 2 blasts (grade 1AA) with nothing to freeze. Our RE was disappointed and said we could select a new donor. She would pay for my meds and donor’s meds plus give us a $7000 discount on her fees. I have a daughter from my first ivf using OE but have have 3 failed fresh IVFs since. I have low amh, high fsh, and a history of endo. I want a proven donor this time, but don’t know if we will find someone with my features.
That is our fear as well, you put so much time and money into it that I am afrad that a negative result will be devastating. We were told that is probably the most trying thing hat DH and I will experience. We got married knowing that I could not have any more children. If it works, it would truly be such a blessing.
I may have a unique view as far as using a DE. I was adopted as a baby so DNA is not what being a family about. I have 2bio children but my DH is amazing and I hope that we have an opportunity to raise a baby together.
Wishing you all the best. Prego test in 7 days for us. All prayers are welcome!!!
Selecting a DE
Our first consideration is color. I am AA and would like a AA donor which I am finding to be hard. We are going to Mexico and one place literally had one donor who was my color. The other women were very fair.
Height, weight, family history are also important. This is not like buying a pair of shoes…:woohoo:
If you are in the “no tell” camp, then your blood type needs to “match” that of the donors, or at least a combination that is possible of yours & your Hubby’s blood type. Im no scientist, but there are only so many combinations of blood types that you can get from an A+ person and an O- person…KWIM???
Plus, this is pretty controversial in the IF community, but some RE’s think if the embryos is a different blood type than the mother, that the body could reject it at transfer time…but i havent really found any thing to support that.
Although we did donor embryos, we didnt look at blood type whatsoever. We are telling, so it didnt matter at all to us. We just looked at the Female’s age and embryo quality. That was it. In fact, in a few weeks here, it will be very interesting once they are born to see what they look like because according to the donor’s features, they should look NOTHING like us…:woohoo:
Blood type comes into play if the mother has a negative Rh factor. Many women who have gone through IVF have been pregnant even if only for a short time. If a mother has a negative RH factor and the father has a positive RH factor the baby could have either negative or positive. If the baby has a positive blood type the RH- mother could build up antibodies towards an RH+ baby. there is a shot that should be given any mother that could have an RH+ baby during pregnancy, after delivery, or after a miscarriage. My oldest daughter is + so after delivery I was given a shot. My youngest was - so no shot was needed. I am no doctor but this is what was explained to me.
I just went today for all of my test and realized that we need to find out the blood type too. 9 viales of blood and the saline u/s on Tuesday. Can’t wait until all that is done with.
These are all helpful. I found someone who could be my sister. Still waiting on other information. It is a long process.
Mamanas where in Mexico are you doing yours? We have selected Cancun.
mywish I will check out your blog.
[QUOTE=littlesttiger]When selecting an egg donor, did you pick someone who resembled you? Were her looks important? Also, did you go with a proven donor?[/QUOTE]
When we selected a donor the first time she was similar in her pictures to me but then we found out her hair color and whatnot was completely different. Didn’t matter regardless. My husband and I went with our “gut”. The blood type is one thing to look at and also, the cleft chin. This is a female dominant trait so if the donor has it, the probability is that the child will have it. Since I don’t have one I was more concerned about this then the blood type.
We just went through the worst experience selecting a new donor. We selected one only to find out right before we started she had some horrible disease. The second choice we made she backed out after we had already paid for the medicine. We just went through our 3rd choice and we went with a proven donor this time. Not willing to go through it again. I am seriously feeling done if this doesn’t work. So… hope it works this time!
No. We didn’t lose any money. We used a facility that works directly with our clinic so when the first donor didn’t work we were out about $2500 and my doctor told them to write it off. With the second one, we were out $2500 plus the medicine of $3800 and my doctor told them to write off the $2500 and that he would front the cost of the medicine for the next one. I am really glad we chose a facility that works directly with our clinic or we really would have been SOL. We just finished our IVF cycle with the proven donor. Waiting to hear good news (of course). Looking back, I was more concerned about the extra money we would have to come up with. I had no idea how painful the process would be. The first time we did this everything went beautiful, donor was amazing, and we have our beautiful son. Don’t know how often our experience happens to people but, whoa, it has been a roller coaster of a year! I hope everything works out for you!
1st beta test tomorrow. I think I am going to lose it!!!
So, my husband and I had 1 failed IUI cycle due to sperm quality, but I am healthy and responded really well to minimal doses of medications. Our next step is IVF, but we are having a hard time wrapping our minds around the cost. I am a teacher and part-time model, but we don’t have any IVF insurance coverage. I have heard of embryo adoption, which I love the idea of, but I just learned about “Egg Sharing” and I’m very interested, but I can’t find much info out there. Basically, someone in need of donor eggs would help us with the costs of IVF, then we’d share the harvested eggs. I’d have have IVF using my husband’s sperm and they would have IVF (or a surrogate) using their own sperm (or donor sperm) and have IVF as well. Does anyone know about this process or where to get matched with someone looking for donor eggs/egg sharing? I’m in the St. Louis, Missouri area. Thanks!!
[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][quote=IfNotForNoah]So, my husband and I had 1 failed IUI cycle due to sperm quality, but I am healthy and responded really well to minimal doses of medications. Our next step is IVF, but we are having a hard time wrapping our minds around the cost. I am a teacher and part-time model, but we don’t have any IVF insurance coverage. I have heard of embryo adoption, which I love the idea of, but I just learned about “Egg Sharing” and I’m very interested, but I can’t find much info out there. Basically, someone in need of donor eggs would help us with the costs of IVF, then we’d share the harvested eggs. I’d have have IVF using my husband’s sperm and they would have IVF (or a surrogate) using their own sperm (or donor sperm) and have IVF as well. Does anyone know about this process or where to get matched with someone looking for donor eggs/egg sharing? I’m in the St. Louis, Missouri area. Thanks!![/quote]
What a neat idea. I’ve heard that’s not uncommon in the UK. I don’t know offhand where you could go for this, but here are two thoughts:
(1) Contact AFCC (Advanced Fertility Center of Chicago, which is actually in Gurnee, Illinois, a suburb). That is far and away the best IVF clinic in your part of the country, and they do lots of donor cycles, so they are approached by a lot of couples wanting donor eggs. Maybe this is something they would be willing to coordinate? As an added bonus, you would then be doing your own IVF at a great clinic, which of course improves your own chances of success.
(2) Contact an egg donor agency. A few that come to mind are The Donor Source and Family Creations. Perhaps they would be willing to take you on as an egg donor who will share her eggs 50-50. [/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=2]My guess is contacting a clinic is the better idea, since a first-time egg donor who donates ALL her eggs will only get about $5000-$7000, so donating half your eggs might not make that big of a dent in your IVF costs. If AFCC isn’t receptive I would contact the other great donor-egg clinics, such as CCRM (Denver), ORM (Portland, OR), SDFC (San Diego) and IVF-NJ (Morristown, NJ). Best of luck![/SIZE]
I have heard of egg sharing before. You’d have to qualify to be a suitable egg donor, just like any donor in a fertility clinic’s donor pool, and then in lieu of financial compensation for your eggs you keep a “share” of them. There might be a few minimal costs for you, but nothing close to what a full IVF cycle costs.