Long time no chat. It’s been fairly quiet on here and life has been hectic.
Nickelle, I am so sorry that the job isn’t working out. I know you have been frustrated and depressed about the drama. I don’t want to sound like an old crone, but “when I was your age” I was working at a job that barely paid the bills, driving a car that could explode at any moment (and eventually did) and had no idea when I was going to be able to afford to go back to school and finish my degrees. Just 5 years later I was working in software engineering and making good money and here I am now, 14 years into my career and I’ve built up enough seniority and experience to be able to compete for telework jobs.
I came from less than nothing plus all sorts of drama and dysfunction and lack of support from my family. Plus the financial, physical and emotional ruin of cancer and a failed engagement.
Things do turn around!! But they really don’t turn around in the 9 months it takes to grow a baby unless you already have an education, a level of seniority and experience in your chosen career, and a strong network of colleagues. Even then, for me, it took 13 months to find a new job and that job turned out to be a terrible fit. I did find my current job out of sheer dumb luck, but it was only my years of experience and specialized knowledge that got me the gig. Even still, I make rather good money and I struggle to support a family on my own. I am glad that you recognize, hard as it may be, that now is not the time to be a parent. There is still time on your clock as it were. Maybe you can search around for a company/job that offers health benefits that include IVF…and even if not, maybe you can save and do an egg retrieval/embryo freeze and then wait to transfer embryos when you are set in your chosen career.
I definitely know that desire to hold a baby in your arms. I’ve had it most of my life. But there is nothing worse then that pit in your stomach when you look at your little baby and don’t know what you are going to do to pay for food, a roof over your heads, etc. What’s even worse, is barely scraping by to cover those things and having to put your baby in a second rate daycare where some stranger with minimal qualifications and none of the parenting traits you value is spending a majority of your baby’s day with them.
Take the next 5 years to plan and build your career and education into something that is SMC-compatible and will give you and your future baby the life you truly want.
Biggest news these parts is that I’ve switched REs. My doc was dragging feet about getting back to me regarding number of embryos to transfer. So, expecting him to dig his heals in like all the other times, I started looking for another doc who’d let me keep the same cycle schedule and found one! And this new doc is $1600 cheaper. When my doc did finally get in touch he had called my OB and asked her to refer me to their perinatologist and wanted yet another clearance letter from that doc, adding one more unnecessary hurdle and delay to my process. The new doc had zero issue with me deciding whether I want to transfer one or two. So that cemented it.
I see the new doc on Tuesday! I’m waiting for af to arrive and then I can begin. It’s a bit of a logistics scramble to get through the process of moving the embryos to the new facility and I may or may not have to have another saline sonogram (blech) but so far they’ve been really nice at the new doctor’s office and fit me into their schedule even though there weren’t any open appointments so that I wouldn’t have to be delayed a cycle. The doctor is going to push together multiple appointments/tests in that first appointment too and their IVF coordinator is working on arranging it so that from a billing standpoint it all goes under infertily testing not treatment, so my insurance will cover that first appointment and all the other stuff on that day, which will lower the cost even further.
Anyway, fingers crossed. If it all goes to plan, then transfer should be around July 9ish but I’m preparing for Murphy’s law.[/QUOTE]
Completely agree with your advice to Nickelle.
With Father’s Day coming up, I have had a lot of concerns as to how I would explain to my children about their lack of a Dad… How do you ladies with children address this issue?..
GL with the cycle I hope this new doc does the trick