Singles Trying to Conceive...


#10781

[QUOTE=latina418]Oh Nickelle,
I am sorry to hear that things personally aren’t doing well. I was really happy that you had gotten a great job and was hoping that the doc appt would go well at your next check up. I am sure timing is hard when you want something so bad. I truly feel for you and wish things were different.
I hope you realize that you can count on us for moral support.

hugs[/QUOTE]
Latina thanks I really appreciate that. It’s not an easy decision to make and for a moment there I really thought things were looking up but it must have been a trick of the light (so to speak) because after about a week and a half I could see that the job wasn’t so great after all. I’m still pushing through and continuing to look for other jobs in the hopes of getting this all turned around. But unfortunately the people who all started out seeming very nice and patient turned out to be very catty, backstabbing, sh!t talking types. There’s A LOT of drama that goes on there and it is very disappointing because I just so don’t want to have to deal with that! Plus, until I reach lead (assuming I was able with all the cattiness from others telling my boos half truths and downright lies in some cases) I just don’t make enough to support myself. She’s working me so little my last check was $120. I don’t even know how my rent will get paid if I don’t get this turned around ASAP. So how can I, in good conscience, continue trying for a child when my life is so unstable? Plus, it’s moot right now since I can’t even afford the RE appointment with all of this on my shoulders right now.

I have tow interviews set up for my day off, on Thursday. One in the morning and one in the evening. Let’s hope one of those is more promising and pans out. I’d love to get back on the baby bandwagon ASAP but I’ve got to get things turned around here first.

Which reminds me. I better call and cancel my RE appointment :confused:

Thanks for the support :slight_smile:


#10782

Hey all,

Long time no chat. It’s been fairly quiet on here and life has been hectic.

Nickelle, I am so sorry that the job isn’t working out. I know you have been frustrated and depressed about the drama. I don’t want to sound like an old crone, but “when I was your age” I was working at a job that barely paid the bills, driving a car that could explode at any moment (and eventually did) and had no idea when I was going to be able to afford to go back to school and finish my degrees. Just 5 years later I was working in software engineering and making good money and here I am now, 14 years into my career and I’ve built up enough seniority and experience to be able to compete for telework jobs.

I came from less than nothing plus all sorts of drama and dysfunction and lack of support from my family. Plus the financial, physical and emotional ruin of cancer and a failed engagement.

Things do turn around!! But they really don’t turn around in the 9 months it takes to grow a baby unless you already have an education, a level of seniority and experience in your chosen career, and a strong network of colleagues. Even then, for me, it took 13 months to find a new job and that job turned out to be a terrible fit. I did find my current job out of sheer dumb luck, but it was only my years of experience and specialized knowledge that got me the gig. Even still, I make rather good money and I struggle to support a family on my own. I am glad that you recognize, hard as it may be, that now is not the time to be a parent. There is still time on your clock as it were. Maybe you can search around for a company/job that offers health benefits that include IVF…and even if not, maybe you can save and do an egg retrieval/embryo freeze and then wait to transfer embryos when you are set in your chosen career.

I definitely know that desire to hold a baby in your arms. I’ve had it most of my life. But there is nothing worse then that pit in your stomach when you look at your little baby and don’t know what you are going to do to pay for food, a roof over your heads, etc. What’s even worse, is barely scraping by to cover those things and having to put your baby in a second rate daycare where some stranger with minimal qualifications and none of the parenting traits you value is spending a majority of your baby’s day with them.

Take the next 5 years to plan and build your career and education into something that is SMC-compatible and will give you and your future baby the life you truly want.

Biggest news these parts is that I’ve switched REs. My doc was dragging feet about getting back to me regarding number of embryos to transfer. So, expecting him to dig his heals in like all the other times, I started looking for another doc who’d let me keep the same cycle schedule and found one! And this new doc is $1600 cheaper. When my doc did finally get in touch he had called my OB and asked her to refer me to their perinatologist and wanted yet another clearance letter from that doc, adding one more unnecessary hurdle and delay to my process. The new doc had zero issue with me deciding whether I want to transfer one or two. So that cemented it.

I see the new doc on Tuesday! I’m waiting for af to arrive and then I can begin. It’s a bit of a logistics scramble to get through the process of moving the embryos to the new facility and I may or may not have to have another saline sonogram (blech) but so far they’ve been really nice at the new doctor’s office and fit me into their schedule even though there weren’t any open appointments so that I wouldn’t have to be delayed a cycle. The doctor is going to push together multiple appointments/tests in that first appointment too and their IVF coordinator is working on arranging it so that from a billing standpoint it all goes under infertily testing not treatment, so my insurance will cover that first appointment and all the other stuff on that day, which will lower the cost even further.

Anyway, fingers crossed. If it all goes to plan, then transfer should be around July 9ish but I’m preparing for Murphy’s law.


#10783

[QUOTE=silverbrumby]Hey all,

Long time no chat. It’s been fairly quiet on here and life has been hectic.

Nickelle, I am so sorry that the job isn’t working out. I know you have been frustrated and depressed about the drama. I don’t want to sound like an old crone, but “when I was your age” I was working at a job that barely paid the bills, driving a car that could explode at any moment (and eventually did) and had no idea when I was going to be able to afford to go back to school and finish my degrees. Just 5 years later I was working in software engineering and making good money and here I am now, 14 years into my career and I’ve built up enough seniority and experience to be able to compete for telework jobs.

I came from less than nothing plus all sorts of drama and dysfunction and lack of support from my family. Plus the financial, physical and emotional ruin of cancer and a failed engagement.

Things do turn around!! But they really don’t turn around in the 9 months it takes to grow a baby unless you already have an education, a level of seniority and experience in your chosen career, and a strong network of colleagues. Even then, for me, it took 13 months to find a new job and that job turned out to be a terrible fit. I did find my current job out of sheer dumb luck, but it was only my years of experience and specialized knowledge that got me the gig. Even still, I make rather good money and I struggle to support a family on my own. I am glad that you recognize, hard as it may be, that now is not the time to be a parent. There is still time on your clock as it were. Maybe you can search around for a company/job that offers health benefits that include IVF…and even if not, maybe you can save and do an egg retrieval/embryo freeze and then wait to transfer embryos when you are set in your chosen career.

I definitely know that desire to hold a baby in your arms. I’ve had it most of my life. But there is nothing worse then that pit in your stomach when you look at your little baby and don’t know what you are going to do to pay for food, a roof over your heads, etc. What’s even worse, is barely scraping by to cover those things and having to put your baby in a second rate daycare where some stranger with minimal qualifications and none of the parenting traits you value is spending a majority of your baby’s day with them.

Take the next 5 years to plan and build your career and education into something that is SMC-compatible and will give you and your future baby the life you truly want.

Biggest news these parts is that I’ve switched REs. My doc was dragging feet about getting back to me regarding number of embryos to transfer. So, expecting him to dig his heals in like all the other times, I started looking for another doc who’d let me keep the same cycle schedule and found one! And this new doc is $1600 cheaper. When my doc did finally get in touch he had called my OB and asked her to refer me to their perinatologist and wanted yet another clearance letter from that doc, adding one more unnecessary hurdle and delay to my process. The new doc had zero issue with me deciding whether I want to transfer one or two. So that cemented it.

I see the new doc on Tuesday! I’m waiting for af to arrive and then I can begin. It’s a bit of a logistics scramble to get through the process of moving the embryos to the new facility and I may or may not have to have another saline sonogram (blech) but so far they’ve been really nice at the new doctor’s office and fit me into their schedule even though there weren’t any open appointments so that I wouldn’t have to be delayed a cycle. The doctor is going to push together multiple appointments/tests in that first appointment too and their IVF coordinator is working on arranging it so that from a billing standpoint it all goes under infertily testing not treatment, so my insurance will cover that first appointment and all the other stuff on that day, which will lower the cost even further.

Anyway, fingers crossed. If it all goes to plan, then transfer should be around July 9ish but I’m preparing for Murphy’s law.[/QUOTE]

Completely agree with your advice to Nickelle.

With Father’s Day coming up, I have had a lot of concerns as to how I would explain to my children about their lack of a Dad… How do you ladies with children address this issue?..

GL with the cycle I hope this new doc does the trick :slight_smile:


#10784

My monkeys are too little, but we do make Father’s Day a celebration of being an SMC and being thankful to our donor family. Didn’t get to go to the annual SMC zoo picnic today because I was sickie but that is our thing the past two years.

Todd Parr’s Family Book is really great for giving the whole families come in all shapes and sizes. I dunno…for me, I don’t plan to present it in any special way… just “we’re a mom and kids shaped family” and share their story with them as often and openly as I can, make sure that family and friends all know our story and there aren’t any secrets or shame or anything like that.


#10785

New RE appointment went great! They crammed everything into one appointment! They did the consult, plus exam, u/s and mock transfer, then I got my schedule and talked to finance and all in less than 2 hours. Man, were they efficient. The new RE is nicer than my old one, but lacking in a sense of humour and rather businessy… if that makes sense. But he was nice and treated me with a lot of respect. He said it was nice that I didn’t need to have much explained and said he was willing to go either way on having another sonohysterogram and that it was up to me, so I said I would rather not, and he was ok with that. They normally do PIO but when I said I had a horrible reaction to it when I did IVF he said I could talk to the nurse and find an alternative. So EASY! He didn’t even make an issue over the number of embryos to transfer and the nurse said it was totally up to me. I told her I hadn’t decided yet but could go either way and she was like “no problem!”. The mock transfer was stressing me out because I’d never had one, but it turned out to be no big deal. The doc was really quick about it and gentle. My only gripe was that he just did the procedure and wasn’t the sort of doc that says what he’s going to do before he does it so I had no idea what was involved or how long it would take.

So, now I wait for AF to show then start estrace, then I have my baseline on July 2nd. I really hope she shows on time. If not, then I call them and they help me induce it and I have to delay the baseline. The transfer isn’t until July 18th though, so even if AF has to be induced, I would hopefully keep the same transfer date as long as I finish AF before the end of the first week in July (because the doc goes on vacation on the 7th).

This week is paperwork and consents and ordering meds then I ned to get my embryos shifted to the new facility and I’ll be good to go. It’s a lot more work than had I stayed with my old RE, but I’m saving a ton of money this way. Also, while trying to find out more about the logistics of consents for shipping, the embryology lab assistant director informed me that they’d changed their rules and I wouldn’t have been able to use my embryos there anyway unless I’d had the donors take additional STD tests (which would have been a real pain and would have caused my cycle to get cancelled on transfer day) so I dodged a major bullet there!! Can’t believe they never said anything to me about that.


#10786

Nickelle- I understand your frustrations and depression about everything, but I do agree with Ona’s advice. You are doing the right thing by delaying motherhood a little longer! Hang in there, I promise things will begin looking up when you least expect it!:grouphug:

Latina- Congrats on your pregnancy! I can’t remember if I told you yet! My kiddos are babies, so the fathers day issue hasn’t come up, and hasn’t come up by friends kids either. I am mom and dad right now, and we just celebrate each day being a loving, fun, and happy family!

Ona- I am interested in the book by Todd Parr. Not familiar with that one! You gave Nickelle and anyone not sure about when to try the single journey some super advice! Although I have advanced college degrees as well, it is still a struggle a lot of times financially.
I am excited for you to cycle again! Sounds like you found a terrific new RE and his office staff sounds wonderful too!
I’d love to try again, but know I couldn’t afford daycare, so for now, its off the table and I continue to pay for my frosties! LOL I bet that River and Sky are getting so big!

Jen- How are you and your sweet girl doing?

Melanie- Any big travel plans while you are on holiday from school? I can’t believe how fast everyone’s LO’s are growing up!

Anyone hear from Susan, Marisa, waffling, or any of the gals who cycled a few years ago? I think of everyone often, but I am not on FB, so if you are and are friends, please tell them I said hello!


#10787

I totally read that “talked to fiance” and was like, whoa, Ona, what did I miss? I am excited for you as you begin this journey again. Hope the new RE is one you don’t have to visit too many times and you find success quickly.

Right now I’m on the “yea, I’m probably not going to do this” train. I can see that changing back. Actually, it is a good thing that I’m not desperate to start trying since I’m still working on that degree and paying off bills-- and hopefully a vacation–with a second job. When those things are done is a much better place to be in when contemplating single parenthood. and since I’m looking at embryo transfer, my own age is not so important.


#10788

Ha! Waffling, you gave me a good chuckle. Fiance… hehe.

So happy right now! Doing major happy dances! I decided to take my prescriptions to my local Wegman’s rather than my usual pharmacy because it would save me a trip. While there, I decided to see how much it would cost to get my Crinone there (I had planned to order it online through a discount pharmacy since my nurse at my old clinic said it was not covered). Well, I am SO GLAD I DID!!! They got insurance to cover it!!! $60 for a 2 week supply (That is half of what it would have cost if I had ordered it from an overseas pharmacy and 1/4 of what it would cost from the discount pharmacy) and the nurse at my new clinic gave me a $50 off coupon so with that, my prescription will only cost me $10!!! This is MAJOR! It would have cost me $400 to $900 a month for my progesterone and now it is costing me $20!!! Seriously mega happy. One more reason that switching REs is proving a great decision!!!


#10789

Waffling- The beauty of using donated embies is you do have lots of time on your side! Your note cracked me up! So easy to self correct when reading. Love that you read “fiancé”. That sure would have been a whirlwind romance for Ona… hehehe

Ona- I thought that was too funny also about the fiancé! You didn’t waste any time huh? lol

AWESOME news about your meds! That is fantastic! You should be doing the happy dance over and over and over! So nice to hear things are working out so far all in your favor! Hope the good vibes keep being in your corner!

I hope everyone is doing ok, it sure is quiet around here!


#10790

More good vibes! :af: arrived today right on schedule.

Rang the nurse and started my estrace and I have baseline on the 2nd. Picking up my covered by insurance Crinone today and getting all the forms printed up at the printer while I am out (I really need to get a printer one of these days). Tentative date for transfer is July 18!


#10791

Whoooo hoooooo! More great news! Keep it coming! :flower:

[quote=silverbrumby]More good vibes! :af: arrived today right on schedule.

Rang the nurse and started my estrace and I have baseline on the 2nd. Picking up my covered by insurance Crinone today and getting all the forms printed up at the printer while I am out (I really need to get a printer one of these days). Tentative date for transfer is July 18![/quote]


#10792

Good luck Ona!!! July 8 is my niece’s birthday that’s got to be good luck :smiley:


#10793

Nickelle, I hope this week is going along better for you! Even if you aren’t going to be actively trying right now, we’d still like to hear how you are doing! :flower:


#10794

This week has been okay. Better than the last couple weeks :slight_smile:

Of course I’ll still check in and keep up. I’m just going to focus on being healthy and getting more financially stable so I can get back on the wagon :smiley:


#10795

Happy to hear your week has been better! Hooray for getting healthier physically and financially! I need to gt on that bandwagon myself and I’m going to try to exercise more in the next few months! :slight_smile:

[quote=thelifespark]This week has been okay. Better than the last couple weeks :slight_smile:

Of course I’ll still check in and keep up. I’m just going to focus on being healthy and getting more financially stable so I can get back on the wagon :D[/quote]


#10796

[QUOTE=Godiva4me]Happy to hear your week has been better! Hooray for getting healthier physically and financially! I need to gt on that bandwagon myself and I’m going to try to exercise more in the next few months! :)[/QUOTE]
So far I’ve lost about 15 lbs. I have another 23 lbs to go to get to my goal weight. I really want to take pilates classes but haven’t been able to afford it but if I can get things turned around financially I’m hoping to be able to do a few little things like that for myself, but mostly it will go towards improving my credit score which my mom screwed up for me (thank you mom), getting into a small house, and putting money in my sadly depleted savings :slight_smile:


#10797

Baseline yesterday went smoothly. My lining is already at 9.9 with another two weeks before transfer on July 18th! The embryos have arrived at the new clinic and all the paperwork and financial stuff is done. In total, switching REs has saved me over $3K! My doc has the sense of humour of a wet cat but his team are definitely efficient. I wish the transfer could be sooner but the office is closed next week, so I have to wait until the 18th. This cycle is a lot different…no lupron…just estrace and crinone, and they’re having me stay on the estrace twice a day along with the crinone for 10 weeks if this works, which is new.


#10798

Wooo! Fx’d Ona! Keep us posted!


#10799

Nickelle- Congrats on the wt. loss! You have some good goals… keep your chin up, each week will get better and better!

Ona- WONDERFUL news! You are going to have a rock star lining! Just think, in 15 days you will be PUPO!

How is everyone else? Everyone has totally fallen off the boards!

If you are out there, ladies, please say a quick hello!

I know summer is an easier busy time of year, just miss hearing from you all every now and then!


#10800

[FONT=Tahoma]Hello Ladies![/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma]A blast from the past! I just wanted to pop in (prompted by Godiva – lol) to say hi![/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma]Things here are wonderful; my precious baby boy is now a loud, wild, and crazy 14 month old. He’s babbling up a storm and adding new words every day, flying around the house with his walker and beginning to venture out and walk on his own. Every night when we say our prayers I thank God for blessing me with him – he is truly my pride and joy. Which isn’t to say the past year has been all fun and games – initially LO had a very hard time gaining weight/meeting developmental milestones and I spent much of the first 6 months at doctors appointments, in physical therapy, and getting every test under the sun run on him. Ultimately I believe the problem was horrible, miserable reflux that didn’t really resolve until he started eating solids at 6 months. But, he has pretty much caught up at this point (went from 10lb 12oz at 6 months to 20lb 2oz at 1 year) and from not rolling over/sitting up at 6mo to crawling/standing by 12mo (I’m a proud mama)! He’s also rather temperamental (his pedi says “spirited”), but I’m learning how to deal with him and as he’s becoming more active he seems happier. I also started a new job in November and love it – it’s in the same field as my previous one but A LOT less stress, great benefits, and perfect work/live balance. I’m really happy where I am now [/FONT][FONT=Wingdings][FONT=Wingdings]J[/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma]A few shout-outs:[/FONT]
[FONT=Tahoma]Latina[/FONT][FONT=Tahoma] – congrats – I’m so excited for you – twins – aaahhh![/FONT]
[FONT=Tahoma]Nickelle – sorry you have to put TTC on hold, but I think you’re doing the right thing by getting your physical health, mental health, and finances in order before continuing[/FONT]
[FONT=Tahoma]Godiva – how is the summer off with the Los? What are they up to now?![/FONT]
[FONT=Tahoma]Ona – so excited for you and your FET later this month![/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma]I’m dipping my toe back in the ttc water this fall. I really want to have 1 more LO and I can’t get my OB’s comment out of my head when she recommended that I get pregnant before I’m 40. I’ll be 39 this fall. In an ideal word I’d wait a year before getting KU, so I’m going to have my blood work drawn in August and meet with my RE in September to discuss how things have changed and what his opinion is on ttc after 40.[/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma]Hi to everyone I missed – I’m sorry, I’m at work and have to update fast![/FONT]