Singles Trying to Conceive...


Sorry, Hope. I had the same thing happen and was also monitored earlier from then on. With different things that came up along the way, it took me just over 2 years from my first try until having Levi and Rose in my arms. Some people on here have got pregnant straight away, some have taken much longer. My advice to anyone new starting out would be to factor in at least 2 years of trying and not think it will work straight away. I know someone turning 40 who wants to hold out for another 6 months to a year to meet Mr Right before trying with a donor which I think is a bit of a mistake. At least at nearly 33 you’ve got time on your side and years ahead of you to make this dream happen - even though delays like this are frustrating and disappointing at the time.


Whodey- Glad your vacation was fun! I agree- working full time sucks! LOL

Ona- I am so sad and sorry to read your post! I’m happy you had River and Sky there to lessen the sadness a bit! I hope your cramping, etc. is better now. I am TOY and sending big hugs your way!

Hope- How disappointing and frustrating! I agree with Sylva- expect it to take some time, but it will happen, so hang in there!

TOYA, exhausted returning to work full speed ahead after having been off a while!

Hi to EOE, I hope you are all doing ok!


Thanks everyone. I am very blessed to have the twins and cherish every second with them. I can’t explain it…I just had this certainty that our family is meant to grow and I would be pregnant again, and I am struggling with wrapping my head around the circumstances. I’ll certainly just keep swimming as I always do but I am not sure how to cope. A bfn would have been easier than actually getting pregnant and then losing it after I saw the whole future map out. I also had some very vivid dreams and “visits” the same way I did with the twins so I don’t know what to do with that. At this stage there is nothing left for me to do, so how I feel about it or what I wish for or sense is really irrelevant.

Hope, this process is a rollercoaster and I’ve had my fair share of cancelled cycles. I second everything Sylva said. You will succeed in the long run and you are starting plenty early. Mentally preparing yourself for a long bumpy ride is a great suggestion but let me tell you that it sure does make that moment when you succeed all the more sweet.


Ona - I’m so sorry, big :grouphug: . I know you said you’re out of funds, but since FET is not as time sensitive, do you think you will be able to save for another try if you wait for a while? You still have some embies on ice, right?

Everyone - thank you for your support. For some reason it never occurred to me that I could ovulate early, considering that usually doesn’t happen at all. I have a couple of questions for those who done IUIs:

  1. If you used an ovulation test - what kind did you use? I’ve seen 4 different types from Clearblue alone, not sure what the difference is and which one is best.
  2. Did you give up caffeine during the IUI cycles only or in between as well? I gave up everything that had caffeine in it until IUI was cancelled, but went back to my comfort chocolate after that. Now I’m wondering if the no caffeine rule applies to the whole TTC process.


Hi Hope - I don’t drink coffee but my sister gave up all caffeine (including soft drinks), alcohol and did acupuncture starting from 6 months before her first IUI. She got pregnant with her first child on the second try. She is pregnant again on her first try for number 2 (actualky, number 2 plus 3!). I didn’t do anything special and got pregnant on my 5th try (miscarriage) and 8th try. So maybe the no caffiene and acupuncture did make a difference for my sister.


Thoughts on switching donors?

Hi everyone,

I am single TTC and I am sure you all know what it is like trying to make decisions. I just failed a fresh cycle and had a chemical with a donor who generously provided me with 5 5-day blasts out of six eggs. I was thrilled about those blasts until they turned into a BFN and a chemical. So maybe her egg quality wasn’t as great as it seemed.

I also think I would have to wait longer till she is available again because apparently she now has a waiting list. (I did a split cycle with this donor; the other recipient got pregnant, so I think that made her popular. People are less inclined to go with a first-time donor).

I’m aware that I could have autoimmune issues and this might not have to do with the donor, but staying positive is easier if I assume the problem is the donor.

It really seems like 5 fair to good blasts should have produced at least one baby.

Any thoughts or opinions?


Oh Marta, I am so sorry that this cycle didn’t work. You know I can empathize! From what you are saying it sounds like there’d be a wait if you wanted to use the same donor again. I guess it really depends on how attached you are to that idea. Medically speaking, giving a different donor a try makes sense. Sometimes there is an incompatibility between donor and recipient, especially if you are rH-. Having 5 embryos not work out isn’t unheard of either, unless they were tested and PGD normal there is no way to know if they were healthy embryos. Not sure how old the donor was, but after age 35, things start going downhill in terms of egg quality. Age of the sperm donor also is a factor. But really, it’s all a huge enigma. Trying again as soon as possible is what I’d opt for if it were me. I wouldn’t want too much down time. Have you been tested for autoimmune issues? Frankly, and I may be biased, I think the whole intralipid thing is a scam. Dr (a-hole) Sher did all these wacky tests on me and insisted I needed it (for a price of course) and I foolishly went along with it but it did no good. But my FET with donor embryos stuck on the first try with twins and I didn’t do anything fancy that cycle. I say get whatever tests you can get, make sure your uterus is healthy (get biopsy and hsg etc) and do what you can to ensure best possible embryo quality and then you are doing the best you can. Everything is crossed for you! It will be your time soon!


Also, the one thing you should consider next cycle is baby aspirin and maybe a mild steroid/antiinflammatory. Both can’t really hurt but definitely could help if there was a clotting or immune factor involved.


Dex and baby aspirin

[QUOTE=silverbrumby]Also, the one thing you should consider next cycle is baby aspirin and maybe a mild steroid/antiinflammatory. Both can’t really hurt but definitely could help if there was a clotting or immune factor involved.[/QUOTE]

Thanks, silver! I did dexamethasone this time and have been on baby aspirin the whole time. Dr. (a-hole) Sher’s claims about thyroid and NK cells are terrifying, but my thyroid went wacko as soon as I conceived and I also have a rare G6PD blood protein deficiency so who knows what that does. It’s only found among people of African and Mediterranean descent and I can’t take antimalarials. Maybe I would do better with an African or Mediterranean donor. I was thinking about the endometrial biopsy and asking my GYN to do it because I am now in SC and my RE is in NY. I don’t think the intralipids would hurt and they don’t cost much. I suspect with Sher, however, you spent a fortune on testing. But I am not attached to the current donor at all. I would prefer one under age 25, actually.

By the way, my clinic in NY does donor embryos for $1500 plus $1500 for FET and cost of meds. Their charge is basically just for FDA testing.



Well, if I do have a G6PD enzyme deficiency, I shouldn’t be taking aspirin and the soybean oil in the intralipids might be a problem. G6PD does play a role in the production of endometrial stromal cells during implantation, and DHEA can inhibit it. I’m posting this because if you are black or Mediterranean, it’s a common deficiency. Taking baby aspirin or DHEA supplements could theoretically hurt more than it helps.


Marta, are you saying you confirmed that you have G6PD? I don’t know much about that but is there dietary changes that can help. Maybe having a donor with same heritage might help, who knows… or at least the same blood type? Are you rH- by any chance? That is a great deal for DE cycle at your clinic in NY.


[QUOTE=silverbrumby;n2594918]Marta, are you saying you confirmed that you have G6PD? I don’t know much about that but is there dietary changes that can help. Maybe having a donor with same heritage might help, who knows… or at least the same blood type? Are you rH- by any chance? That is a great deal for DE cycle at your clinic in NY.[/QUOTE]

I am going to have the G6PD rechecked. The doc told me I had it when I was 22. I am going to an endocrinologist soon–if my GPs office can manage to make an appointment because apparently in South Carolina you need a pardon from the Pope or something just to get in to the endocrinologists. So either I will get the endocrinologist to check the G6PD or I will ask my gynecologist. I am going to have an endometrial biopsy with her. She is great and probably will check it just because there are several antibiotics that don’t work with G6PD. What fun! But I hope it will help. I also found some studies that G6PD deficiencies cause problems making endometrial stromal cells and that fertility is much lower for women over 35 with the deficiency. There are different kinds–Mediterranean vs. African. I have a mystery grandmother who I probably inherited the trait from. I am really hoping she is of African rather than Mediterranean descent because the former causes less problems. But the snafu is that most intralipids (since I do have a crazy thyroid) are made with soy and the G6PD diets are legume-free. There is a brand made with olive oil so hopefully I can use that one. I am sure that with twin toddlers to take care of all this information is not relevant to you–I am just venting and ranting but thanks for your concern and support, as always!


Just read this article about a SMBC whose baby came to be from a 19 year old donated embryo. Thought some of you might be interested in reading it.

Is anyone else finding this new-look format a pain in the butt to use on mobile devices? Skipping to the last page is not as easy as it used to be.


Is my last post a comment on a previous posting or a new post? Confused. I thought I made a post but just saw it was a comment. Testing writing a post in this box to see if it comes up as a vomment it a post. Still finding the update difficult to use on an iPhone compared to before. Also very slow to load pages.


Ok, so this one was a post so must have pressed the wrong thing on the ‘post’ before!


Hi all, Sorry I have been gone for so long, but Dad retired and moved in late July and we have been busy getting house ready for the babies. I also ended up in the hospital last week for 5 days due to pain in belly and back. They thought it was kidney stones but it turned out to be that they babies are compressing my urinary ducts causing a backup into my kidneys and they were inflamed and pissed off which caused the pain. Unfortunately the only thing to do is pain management and changing positions or they will have to put drain tubes and I am trying to avoid that. I went back to work on Monday and have been taking it easier. I am definitely having a harder time with the back pain and belly weight but I am moving as best as I can. The names I chose are Evan Lukas and Alexis Grace. I ended up getting the two cribs convertible with the matching furniture for each baby in white for the girl and brown for the boy as a gift from my dad. I am still working on my registry. I joined a moms with multiples group too but have not attended any meetings yet. I am officially 27 weeks. I hope to be able to stay working as long as I can. Ona, I am sorry about your loss… But I am glad that you and babies are okay. Nickelle, I am super proud that you are still on track with the weight loss… Good luck in school. Whodey, Glad to hear you are back on the forum. Marta, Welcome and I hope they clear up with situation with your possible G6PD. Godiva, How are things with you? I would love that list of recommendations if you still have them. To EOE… Hi!
Ummm also I hate this new forum format… Where did our signatures images go? I had the hardest time finding the forum too.


Latina - I hadn’t even noticed about the signatures! I had a massive fright as thought the that signature was my only record of my fertility treatment. I literally had tears in my eyes thinking it was lost but, thank goodness, I looked back in the notes in my iPhone and I did think to copy it when I got the phone a year ago. Phew!
Sorry to hear about the kidney problems, but glad that the babies are fine. Love the name choices!


Latina–I’m happy to meet you and to see that you are having twins! I guess your kidneys have a reason to be pissed off. :woohoo:

To everyone–I am soliciting your opinions again. I had the G6PD test but I was more obsessively worried about my thyroid for the past month. That’s not good either. Then, I looked at the flow chart from my first fresh donor egg/embryo transfer and realized I was on Lupron for around 40 days and the transfer was on what would be day 35 of my cycle. The nurse said the lupron would keep me in a “holding pattern” until the transfer took place but I find it hard to believe that my body would just go to sleep for over a month and than magically become receptive to the embryos just because I had some progesterone for a few days. They didn’t even check my lining for two weeks before the transfer. So on day 21 (two weeks before the transfer, the last time they checked) my lining was already almost 11 millimeters. And I am supposed to believe it just patiently waited for two weeks? The receptivity window is normally only 48 hours. I think they screwed up. Thoughts?

Thank you, everyone, for listening to my overanxious self-diagnosis rants.


Ugh I really don’t like this new forum setup… I wrote a long post and when I went to edit a name on it, it deleted the long post… So here I go again. Sylva, I too was able to find an old post and I wrote down the information since I had not done so in the past. I am officially 28 weeks and today I saw my OB, so the major issues we are dealing with are my reflux made worse by prenatal and iron supplement since I am also anemic… So of course the samples that she provided the only two that I tolerated my insurance doesn’t prefer and it means a $50 copay for each one… The OB thinks that the tingly and quivering lips i have been having lately are due to anemia so I have to find a medicine that I can tolerate and afford. She gave me samples of citranatal 90 dha which is also $50 bucks per month but it has 90mg of iron so I am hoping I can just take one pill and not have to pay for two. I also had my one hour glucose challenge and wow that stuff was yucky and made me so sleepy after… I am sleepy and fatigued a lot so maybe that just made me crash more…lol the kidneys are still sore at times and I had to get a belly support and a belly support pillow so hopefully those will help too. Furniture for the kids was delivered and I finished my registry…yey…that was exhausting picking items for each sex but fun at the same time. I feel truly blessed. I also wanted to schedule my c-section for 11/12/13 but my doctor said she is not sure she will be “allowed to do it” before 38 weeks… Seriously 11/12/13 is 37 weeks 5 days… I don’t see how 2 days is such a big deal? What are your thoughts? I think that DOB would be real cute… I know I am being silly… But why not? Marta, I am not very familiar with G6PD, but I am an expert on thyroid disease since I actually work as a physician assistant in a major medical center in the endocrine department, so feel free to ask me any questions you might have. I am not sure about that holding pattern question you had either, since I only did one IVF treatment and it was with different medications. EOE… Where are you? It is so quiet here… Hi to all!


Latina–thanks for your insight. Do you know anything about dessicated natural thyroid? I did some more research on the lupron “holding pattern” and Yale has a new test/study about MAG, which is what makes your endometrium sticky. Of course, you don’t need to know about that. I am in South Carolina but I go to a clinic in northern NY because there aren’t many clinics in SC and they cost twice as much.

I don’t like taking iron and I do tend toward anemia. Maybe it’s something other than the iron that bothers you, too? Can you just take straight iron supplements and maybe not the whole prenatal horse pill, at this point? That might be cheaper. I tolerate Trader Joe’s prenatal the best (doesn’t bother me at all, in fact ) and you can get iron capsules at Whole Foods for $12. The good news is that you don’t have to take the expensive pills for that much longer! 11/12/13 is an excellent birthday. I thought twins were often delivered at 37 weeks so I don’t know why your doctor is giving you a hard time. I hope the pillow and belt are helping with your other discomforts.