Snappy Comebacks for Nosy People?


#1

What do you say to those people who keep making comments like “You gotta get started on those kids! What are you waiting for? When are you going to have a baby? You look so good holding that baby (wink wink).” ??? My gut response is to punch them in the face, and then I remember that that probably wouldn’t be appropriate. I totally understand that they mean well and that they have no idea that we have been trying to combat fertility for quite some time; I know they have no concept of the pain that they are inflicting. I don’t want to be rude, but is there some clever response any of you have come up with to firmly let them know that it’s a really inappropriate question? Suggestions would be much appreciated during this holiday season.

Best to all!


#2

I once read the best way to answer a nosy question is to turn it around on the person who asked it, such as, “that’s personal information, why is it your business?”. I love how empowering that is. Instead of feeling like you’re the one under scrutiny and duress to answer, now they are! Having said that, IF gives me new perspective in that just because someone doesn’t have kids doesn’t mean they don’t want them, and of course I’m so sensitive myself to it. But I’m sure we have all at some time or another hurt someone with something we said or asked and never even knew it! Before me, unless they had top secret treatments, I never knew anyone suffering from infertility…everyone I ever knew seemed able to pop out as many kids as they wanted.


#3

Tell them that if they are really that invested in you having children, seeing as how they are assuming they should be in the know about why you aren’t having any, they should feel free to help pay for the baby THEY so desperately want you to have!

They would then know about your struggle but they would also feel like a real a** which would be nice and deserved!


#4

It kind of depends who is asking. The people who I felt were just being nosy got a wise *** answer (“just have to conquer that heroin addiction first”, or something like that). People whom I thought were honestly interested (even though they were being rude by asking) got a more polite answer. I would say something like “we know that our lives will change a lot once we have children, so we just want to make sure that we have enough ‘couple time’ first” or something like that.


#5

As much as I wanted to face punch them or reply saracastically, I found that the best response was to sweetly say “That’s an interesting question. Why do you ask?” Turn it back on them and leave them for a loss of words.

It used to amaze me that people couldn’t figure out that if two teachers, who had been married 10+ years, didn’t have a child yet, that there must be a problem. Some people just don’t think!


#6

[SIZE=“2”][FONT=“Comic Sans MS”][COLOR=“DarkGreen”]I’ve actually never been bashful about telling people of my dh n I’s fertility struggles. Whenever anyone has asked me about us having children i just tell them that we have struggled for nearly a decade to conceive & that alone makes em feel bad enough(embarrassed) for having opened their big fat mouths to begin with, especially if you elaborate about the grueling treatments you’ve gone through to try & have a baby. Think it’s kind of a wakeup call to em to not make comments or ask questions about things like that. Then again you have those ppl who will suffer from foot in mouth disease over n over, never learning their lesson.:eek:[/FONT][/SIZE]


#7

When I get asked, I reply with “When people stop asking”… w/ a smile on my face of course… :slight_smile:


#8

I’m just honest – I say that we’ve been trying but it’s not really working out as we’d like. They almost always look embarrassed, apologize, and change the subject. I’ve never had anyone ask anything further. Simple, does the trick, and easier than bothering with something clever.


#9

[quote=keeponkeepingon]What do you say to those people who keep making comments like “You gotta get started on those kids! What are you waiting for? When are you going to have a baby? You look so good holding that baby (wink wink).” ??? My gut response is to punch them in the face, and then I remember that that probably wouldn’t be appropriate. I totally understand that they mean well and that they have no idea that we have been trying to combat fertility for quite some time; I know they have no concept of the pain that they are inflicting. I don’t want to be rude, but is there some clever response any of you have come up with to firmly let them know that it’s a really inappropriate question? Suggestions would be much appreciated during this holiday season.

Best to all![/quote]

I had this problem too. Just tell them that your too busy practicing! and wink. Worked for me. x