So Sad and also Happy


#1

So I know that my hubby and I havent been trying since my miscarriage back in Oct. But i am sad because today I found out my sister in law is 3 months pregnant. I am Happy for them but I am also sad. I dont know how to feel.


#2

Oh how I know exactly how you feel! If you remember I had an ectopic Aug/Sept cycle and found out my really good friend is due May 21st today which I would have been due May 23rd. I had chose to distance myself from her when she announced to me her pregnancy just because I was still emotionally dealing with the new ectopic. It was so bad that when she told me on our way up north I couldn’t say anything except “thats nice”- which I felt super guilty about and later explained why my reaction was that. I felt very betrayed at first due to she was a single mom (to a now 7 yr old) and her new husband (married in May) has two children and she told me not even a month before announcing that they weren’t having anymore children which obviously to get pregnant she had to go off the pill so she lied. She is very aware of our fertility issues so it I think that made it even harder.
I have recently been struggling alot more than I had been. I chose to be very open with family, friends, and co workers from the beginning to try and avoid the constant “when are you going to have a baby” question and feel like that is starting to blow up in my face. My own mother has been insensitive lately- like the day after Thanksgiving we went to the fabric store and that is when she chose to buy tons of baby fabric for quilts for people. I just feel that could have been done at a different time. Going to a store and walking by baby dept. and saying “isn’t that adorable” or today saying my new baby shower gift of choice for people will be the baby bullet. I just don’t think she gets it. I am a pretty strong person on the outside to others at least but I am becoming very weak lately. My parents texted me this weekend to let me know that my brothers expected child will be a girl and all I could do was ball! Luckily I was home alone and just cried as long as I needed however I was soooo hurt knowing that all I have ever wanted was a baby girl and they are rubbing it in that my unwed brother on his second child gets to have my dream.
Sorry I babbled so long but just wanted to let you know you are not alone and thank you for sharing your feelings to let others know they aren’t alone!
Good luck to you in the upcoming year. Lots of baby dust to you.


#3

It is very hard when someone we love is pregnant and we are not…okay let’s face it is hard no matter who is pregnant.

One of my best friends just went off the pill about six months ago and wasn’t going to start trying until January, but one night there was an oops and now she is 11 weeks. I’m jealous and trying my hardest to not be bitter. I actually found out last Tuesday I was pregnant and it happened on our own! I couldn’t wait to call her and tell her…two days later my beta went down and now I’m left with reading her Facebook posts everyday about her being nauseous or baby brain. Did I mention she never wanted to be a mom until about a year ago?

Hopefully 2012 will bring you a little miracle! :babydust:


#4

Thanks for the reply guys you all rock. I really don’t think my hubby gets it because it his sister. But we found out there due date and it is 2 days before I would have been due with my miscarriage. Seriously did it have to be the exact same this is really going to hurt. Man why do these things happen. I want to scream! I want to just cry! God can play some pretty cruel jokes. Sorry if that offends anyone I am not trying to offend I am just really annoyed!


#5

Not offended what so ever! I’m not friends with God right now since he decided to let me get pregnant and end my pregnancy all within a week before xmas…he really doesn’t have good timing! let’s hope that 2012 will bring us what we desire, whether it is natural, fertility drugs, or we find a child that needs us! Try to have a happy holiday!


#6

Wow I am so sorry! I have followed your posts for awhile. I think you are a really brave and strong woman. Your perserverance inspires me to keep going.

For the past 3 years I have dealt with numerous friends, family, co-workers and customers pregnancies and if I hear we weren’t even trying one more time…the most difficult was my best friend who never even wanted kids and then decided to go off the pill and see what happens, bam first try! Why it happens this way, I don’t know. I’ve never been pregnant and my husband has never impregnated anyone, we have been together for 13 years and married 4 1/2, trying for 3 and been under the care of an RE for about a year now. It doesn’t get easier, just more frustrating and devastating. I am angry too.

But, we are not alone. I hope you have a wonderful holiday and continue to be the strong, persistant woman whos posts inspire us when we are down.