So Sad to be back here again


Wow, who would have thought I would be back here in adoption infertility posting again. Wow that was 15 yrs ago. Well im back struggling with another issue. I started taking an all natural product after battling PCOS for over 18yrs. For once in my life I ovulate every month and so confused on my future. Im in my second marriage and didn’t want to be 40 and pregnant 7 yrs ago so my second husband got snipped. Dear Lord after all I went thru I never thought I would want to have a child now. Since I have bet the PCOS battle I want to have a child, I want to be a mommy. I don’t know where to turn or what to think. My husband is 10 yrs older then I am and says NO, No way not even going there. He has a daughter who is 25 with a 2 yr old son. They are not mine tho. I want my own. anyone else experiencing this? But as I logged onto this forum my heart ran out to all the want to be mommies and my gut started hurting. Oh Lord what can of worms have I now opened. Ive been where. WOw.


It is a bit of a Pandora’s box. Oh sigh. I’m in a slightly different situation where my partner is still humming and ahhing going with another donor sperm. We already have 1 child using a different donor. I’ve been going to counseling to figure out a few things. For me, I know I’m grieving alot. Grieving my son growing up, grieving a loved one, grieving a lost passion, grieving a miscarriage. Trying to bring a bit of forgiveness in my life as one HUGE regret is that I didn’t start this whole business earlier. again - sigh -

It’s hard when your partner isn’t on the same page. You do need to talk, despite how hard this might be. Counseling is a great mediator.

It’s strange how that feeling just hits you. A part of me believes (or wants to believe) it’s my body saying, “okay lady, its now or never”.

wishing you peace and strength with whatever you decide. I’ve been on this forum for a few months and it has saved me many times from going completely bonkers.