Support for a loved one


#1

Hi There,

I am new to this forum and have joined to get some feedback about my older sister. She just turned 40 years old. She has had 2 rounds of IVF with no success. She decided not to continue with IVF for financial and emotional reasons and said that if she is going to conceive, it would have to happen naturally. Her fertility specialist said that both she and her husband are healthy and everything “checks out”. No problems with her eggs or his sperm, good egg count. She stopped the IVF a year ago. She is very active. She runs about 3 times per week and weight-trains about 3 days per week. She does one long run of 11-12 miles each week and she does a half-marathon every couple of months. She gets her period regularly, spot-on every month. She has a very healthy diet. She is lean, but not underweight. Even though she is still getting her period, can the activity be interfering with her ability to get pregnant? I have hinted about this in past conversations about activity level being an issue but she said that she is eating according to her activity level, is menstruating and the running is her outlet; without it, she has nothing. I want to support her as much as possible, but I don’t want to over-step my boundaries by saying the wrong thing and I don’t even know if my thoughts are legit. Any advice? Is there anything I can say or do to help? I hate seeing her this way :frowning: Thank you in advance


#2

I can tell you from my experience, that just listening is the only thing that really helps… Unexplained infertility is sometimes the hardest… She has to keep having faith and not lose hope… things started getting better for him when I stopped worrying non stop about it. I am not sure about too much exercise… but she could track her ovulation to see if she is ovulating every month and when… acupunture has also been suggested as a means to help cope with stress.


#3

I definitely don’t think the exercise has anything to do with it. Unfortunetly, as you age egg quality declines and it doesn’t really matter how fit or healthy a person is, aging is aging. I’m sorry your sister is going through this but it is such a wonderful thing for you to come on here and look for ways to support her. I would just be there and listen to her, offer her a shoulder to cry on if needed, and just be a rock for her.


#4

You’re a great sister!

I don’t think there’s anything you can do or suggest, other than just be there and when you get pregnant, don’t say things in her presence like “I wasn’t even trying” or “Ugh, this pregnancy is so getting on my nerves” – things I’m sure you’d never do anyway! :slight_smile:

If she’s done IVF twice, she’s clearly had all the testing done. If her exercise was interfering with her hormone levels or cycle, it would have been picked up immediately. I am also unexplained (and now also old) and I know firsthand how much it sucks big fat hairy monkey balls. I was so incredibly lucky that IVF worked for me (hoping I get that lucky again), but it was a loooong road.

Best wishes to your sister - she’s blessed to have you. I hope she gets the baby of her heart as well.


#5

Thank you for the feedback Denise! I will def be there to listen


#6

Thank You JediBonas. I know, it is hard to watch someone you love go through something like this! Thank you for your feedback :slight_smile:


#7

Thank you for the compliment and the feedback essemkay! Yeah, it really truly sucks to watch someone you love go through this. I really wish I could do more! Time and prayers. Congrats to you and baby dust for the future! :wink: