Surrogacy failure, looking for reliable clinic


#1

Hi everyone! My name is Kaitlin, 36 yo. I’ve got pregnant in 2008 and everything seemed perfect. My husband and I had been ttc for a couple of years. My pregnancy was a miracle and blessing. We were so happy… But terrible thing happened. It was 27th week. Son of our neighbors pushed me into the stomach and placental abruption occurred. He was bullying another girl, who was younger then him and I just wanted to protect her. Our loss greatly influenced us mentally. We attended psychologist. He helped a bit, but still it’s so hard to survive this and unbearable feeling inside… We still can’t recover from shock. Unfortunately that wasn’t the end of our suffering. We went for surrogacy in Mexico. I wish we never went there! We put all our hope in it. And of course we paid so much money. Though that clinic had pretty good reviews and doctors seemed to be professionals, our procedure failed. Our surrogate mother lost our baby on 28th week. Idk, maybe we are cursed? Maybe we just not supposed to have children? It happened so because of doctor’s negligence. That clinic was closed last year. No one will suffer because of them again. Then we decided to go to India for surrogacy. We spent all our money for Mexican clinic. That’s why we started to save money for another procedure. But India suddenly was closed for foreigners! It seems to me like someone’s bad joke! We can’t afford to have surrogacy in USA. Their prices are too high for our abilities. Girls, which clinic is better to address? Maybe you had surrogacy and can advise some good place to go? I really need your help! I’m so tired of failures. I still hope that we’ll have chance to have a normal and happy family.


#2

I appreciate your support. I’m so sorry about your experience with that woman. Such people have no conscience. There are so many girls who really want to help. They propose their help on forums and the do it with pure heart. Because of such women like this one we just can’t believe them. I’m happy for you and your successful procedure. My congratulations to your little girl! I understand that it was hard for you not too look for falls in each clinic you were finding. I have same situation and I see negative aspects everywhere. I hope you will give me some information. I’m so tired of failures and misfortunes. The only thing I want is to become a mother. Do I ask too much? I just don’t know what to do and where to go… I want to stop this depression, want to start living, want to have a happy family and the most important – want to have children! I hope this one will be last one and successful. May I ask why didn’t you choose Russia? I think there are also many clinics and lower prices. What is the name of the clinic you used? What services and prices doesthis clinic offer? Mexican clinic pulled a lot of money from us.We hope to find clinic with affordable price. Was there a possibility to pay in parts? I’m little bit afraid to give all money right away… I think that clinic may slow down if it gets all money. Staff receives what they want and they don’t harry with the process. I’ve read about such cases. We really don’t want to waste time. I understand they can’t clap and surrogate mother would appear immediately. I just don’t want to wait for months and years in expectation of miracle.


#3

Thank you for kind words! I’m so grateful you’re helping me to clarify everything. I didn’t know about Russian law. Sounds really weird! Absolutely strange woman may simply leave your child. How it’s even possible? Baby is not even genetically related with her! I’m happy to hear Ukraine doesn’t have this law. I’m surprised the clinic found surrogate mother for you in such short period of time. I thought this process takes not less than 6-12 months. Where their surrogate moms live? Did you take your surrogate mother to live with you? As I know all of them should have children to become surrogate mothers. I don’t know if it’s possible and moral to take them away from their families. At the same time, I can’t even imagine being hundreds miles away from your baby during almost a year! How much did you pay for those services, which clinic provided you with? Maybe it will be cheaper to find translator and housing by yourself. The only thing searching will be pretty hard. Language barrier complicates it. Did you pay this 49 900 euros at once? What’s the difference between those packages? Were there problems with documents for your babies? I have absolutely no idea how to arrange all this in Ukraine. I guess some documents for child to leave the country will be needed. How to make everything right? I need to clarify one issue which concerns me the most. Is it safe to go there at this moment? We all know about their war. I’ve seen so many horrible videos and reports from the news. Innocent people die there, whole cities turn into ruins. There are so many homeless and poor people, who became so because of this war. I pray for those people, I hope that situation there will change. But I should think first about safety of my family.


#4

I completely agree that surrogate mothers should live with their families. It’s hard to be thousands miles away from your baby during 9 months. But we should also think about those women, who help us to become parents. They care about our baby, they carry it for us. They make a great thing! So we should consider their needs and desires too. They will nervous less and be calm surrounded by relatives in their native home. Our program coordinator was providing us with all info about surrogate mother and our daughter at least once per month.

Speaking about translator, taxi and taxi driver, accommodation, food and smartphones. All these services are already included into packages! You won’t need to look for all that by yourself. We didn’t pay some extra charges and we were never asked to pay some other fees. So the only amount we spent was that sum set in our contract. We chose package called VIP. It costed 49 900 euros and the sum was divided into 5 rates. 10 000 euros we paid after signing contract. 9 900 euros – during second visit and before the fertilization. 10 000 euros - on twelve weeks of the gestation of our sm. 10 000 euros – after the birth of our girl. And final 10 000 euros we paid after receiving all documents for our daughter.

Vip is more comfortable I should say. Needed blood tests were made by the coming nurse domiciliary. We didn’t have to stay in lines and wait for our turn. As I’ve mentioned there were a lot of couples. Also the clinic provided us with all stuff needed for new born babies. Also we were provided with 24/7 phone consultation of pediatrician. By the way she spoke English very well! Also we asked our pediatrician to come check our girl so we had no need to go to the clinic. She was crying and we thought maybe something was wrong. So the doctor came, checked her and gave us some advices. Also there was such service in vip package as babysitter from 9 am till 6 pm. In standard package, babysitter comes for only 4 hours/day. We needed to do all arrangements with documents, payments, tickets and so on. So 4 hours was not enough for us. So we didn’t have to rush. We had time to overthink everything carefully. And also our surrogate mother has already had a positive surrogacy experience. That’s why we’ve chosen this package.


#5

Speaking about documents you have nothing to worry about. The clinic helped us with them too. I also had no idea where to go and how to organize everything right. They provided us with assistance in the Ukrainian civil registry office. We’ve got the child’s birth certificate there. And of course they helped us in getting a travel passes for our daughter. You can set your worries about war aside! We were in Kiev in 2015 last time. We were nervous too! We didn’t know what picture we’ll see after we leave our plane. Especially after watching some videos our panic was huge! But I assure you it’s one of the most peaceful and friendly cities in the world. It’s absolutely safe in Kiev. The hostilities take place in east part of Ukraine. So you have nothing to concern about. The only thing you should think about is your future baby.


#6

Thank you so much for all this info! It’s really hard to find good clinic nowadays. There are so many clinics, but not all of them have professional doctors. I’ve experienced failed surrogacy procedure. I really don’t want this to repeat again. Also the fact that there are so many scammers makes the search even harder. Their amount grows with each year. You never know for sure whom you speak with. Even looking for surrogate mother by your own isn’t a good idea nowadays. I’m happy I found this forum. Now I know what to consider and where to move. I have a strong feeling this time I’ll make it. So much nerves and efforts were spent. I appreciate your help! I wish all of us all the best. I hope we’ll have new member in our family very soon.


#7

Hello Dear,
I’m so sorry about your losses. Dear, I’m happy to see that you don’t give up. you concern to best doctor.
Gaudium IVF is Best IVF Clinic in Delhi. We provide the best surrogacy services and IVF treatment to infertile people at our IVF clinic. We are determined to offer our patients the best IVF treatment at affordable cost.
Dr. Manika Khanna (M.B.B.S., M.D., D.A.G.E. Germany) is the founder of Gaudium IVF Centre, the best IVF specialist in Delhi and laparoscopic surgeon specialising in Reproductive Medicine & IVF Treatment in Delhi. She is the Best Infertility Specialist in Delhi.


#8

I am sorry for everything that you are going on. I can understand the pain that you are in. It is good that you decided to help the girl who was being bullied. You should not regret that. Looking for a good clinic is one of the hardest thing to do. I always believe that there is much more in a clinic. The success of a procedure wholly depends to the clinic. Like in the case when you were un Mexico. That is so bad. What happened that your surrogate lost the bay? It is a relief to know that it was closed down. So as others should not go through the same. I do agree tat America is expensive. I personally am a resident in America. But can you imagine I had to travel to Ukraine for my medical treatment. They are so affordable and offer the best services. Even their 2018 economy package is running out. So register before the end of this week in Bio texcom clinic.


. here is more information concerning surrogacy in their clinic.


#9

I’m so sorry we have to go through all this… Infertility is such a bitch. Though we are currently in our surrogacy program and our sm is pregnant, I’ll never forget what we’ve gone through. We were TTC for 8 years. I had 3 MCs and unbearable pain hit my heart after each loss. I can’t believe that we’ll have a baby soon. I ask myself “Can that possibly be true? Or am I dreaming?” I still remember that feeling of emptiness and hopelessness when friends or colleagues were telling me they are pregnant. When everyone around were asking me why I DO NOT WANT to have kids. I want to say to all of you guys, don’t give up and keep going! The only thing which matters is our desire to become parents!


#10

Dropped in to say a couple of words. As you’ve probably read some of my previous posts, you know that friends of mine were through surrogacy program with Ukrainian biotex. On the whole, this country is surrogacy friendly, seems the process is working smooth and well at each stage. A surrogate cannot keep a baby after birth. After the birth certificate is obtained the embassy process starts. The embassy process differs for every country, so the waiting time is different for every particular case. Though some of the Embassies will require additional DNA test performed on their premises. The clinic provided them full documentary support of the exit process so it passed quite fast for them.


#11

Hi gorgeous. I hope you are good. I feel so sad to ready this story. I can understand the pain you are going through. Infertility is really a curse. I am going through surrogacy too. It makes me feel so bad that I can’t have a baby of my own. I sometimes feel hollow from inside. But, decided not to give up. Cheers to all the strong ladies like you, out there!


#13

sorry to hear about your story. You did a great job. Helping minors is our duty. But terrible things happened. We can not change the fate. It is God’s will. I am also happy for you that you made a good decision at the right time. Surrogacy is the best option for you after going through so much trouble. I can feel your pain. I am also an infertile. I went through the same phase and process. But Now i am very happy. I have a healthy baby through surrogacy. I hope happiness for you and your family. Keep your hopes high. Best of luck.


#14

Hi dear. I am really sorry for the incident happened to you. Having a baby and then losing it in this way is really painful. I can feel your pain and the hard time which you are going through. No doubt this will have made you tensed and you will be feeling broken up. But my dear this is not the time to lose hope and curse yourself. You are not cursed at all. This is the fate and no one can do nothing for it. You just have to stay positive towards your life and take care of your health. There are many clinics which offer surrogacy. Surrogacy haves this much fame due to its more guaranteed results and success rates. There is a clinic in Ukraine that offers the best packages for surrogacy. It will be the best for you. Many couples have got benefit through them who can’t conceive a baby naturally. Surrogacy is one of the safest and effective way to have a child. All my best wishes compliments are with you. May you be blessed with a baby and have a good healthy happy life.


#15

Hello there. I hope you’re doing well. I feel really awful to hear about your story. It must have been a horrible experience going through it. I just want you to know that I’m here if you ever need to talk about anything. I can understand because I’ve gone through something similar. Good luck with your plan to go with surrogacy!


#16

Hi Katty. I feel very sorry for what you had to experience. Its terrible. I just can’t even imagine what you would’ve felt and still feel when you think about it. You did not deserve this. You’re very strong. I’m proud of you. There are so many clinics that offer surrogacy nowadays. But since you know this is a very risky and sensitive procedure. You should go with a place 100% reliable. I went to Ukraine for my surrogacy and my experience was satisfactory. This place was affordable too. Surrogacy gets so expensive that only very rich people can afford it. But choosing the right clinic will do the job for you. Good luck.


#17

Hey. I am so sorry for you. It must be so hard for you. There are only a few clinics that are reliable and affordable. I had fertility issue because of which I decided to go for surrogacy/. I know a clinic in Europe where I went for surrogacy. I went there. They provided me with a healthy surrogate. I am a happy mother now. It’s been 4 years. I am planning to have another baby.


#18

I don’t know why your treatment was unsuccessful. I have personally gone through surrogacy. We didn’t faced any type of this issue. It was a easy journey for us. Smoothly we got over surrogacy without having any issue. I hope your clinic will be resolving this issue as it is a big mark to clinic’s procedure.
Our clinic was good at surrogacy and it went smoothly. Our surrogate will be delivering our twin daughters soon.
Good luck to your journey hope so it goes smoothly from now on.


#19

I’ve already shared this on another thread. There are many reasons why more and more IP are moving to eastern Europe to seek surrogacy luck. Their law seems to be more stable and favourable to IP more than to surrogates. Firstly, this is the low cost of surrogate pregnancy. Would-be parents from nearby west European countries including the UK and from as far as Australia and the USA are seeking surrogacy there for this very reason. The process is well regulated. Only women who have given birth before are qualified to become surrogate mothers. Agencies/clinics usually don’t accept surrogates who drink, smoke or take drugs and that’s obvious. Typical surrogate moms are between 20 and 40 yrs. IP are usually given several profiles they can choose from. Before going straight for pregnancy a surrogate has to undergo extensive medical testing. Usually these are gynecological examinations, blood tests, and screening for various sexually-transmitted diseases among many others. She also has to go through psychological screening to make sure she’s mentally healthy. Usually a surrogate is given continual counseling along with the parents. In countries where commercial surrogacy is legal like Ukraine a surrogate will have zero parental rights over the child. It may only require some paperwork so that you can be legally named parents of the child. All you need to worry about is acquiring an exit visa for the child.
Before going into the actual process with a clinic make sure your agency/clinic performs regular checks and ‘home visits’ on the surrogate since you can’t be there physically to do it on your own. For those considering surrogacy I’d just send all the best of luck as the track is challenging. Though it does look much better after some self education. Have a fab week!


#20

hey there, how are you doing? I can not tell you how much I am moved by your story. it must be really painful for you. you are an inspiration. you are really strong. you should not lose hope and stay strong. I went through something similar. I lost my first baby in a car accident only 6 months in pregnancy. the second miscarriage was due to my poor health. I was drowning in sorrow. but I went for surrogacy.i cant tell you I have never been happier, I am a mother of one baby boy. the baby was totally healthy too. I really hope that you become a mother soon and your wish to complete your family comes true cheers.


#21

I appreciate your support. I’m so sorry about your experience with that woman. Such people have no conscience. There are so many girls who really want to help. They propose their help on forums and the do it with pure heart. Because of such women like this one we just can’t believe them. I’m happy for you and your successful procedure. My congratulations to your little girl! I understand that it was hard for you not too look for falls in each clinic you were finding. I have same situation and I see negative aspects everywhere. I hope you will give me some information. I’m so tired of failures and misfortunes. The only thing I want is to become a mother. Do I ask too much? I just don’t know what to do and where to go… I want to stop this depression, want to start living, want to have a happy family and the most important – want to have children! I hope this one will be last one and successful. May I ask why didn’t you choose Russia? I think there are also many clinics and lower prices. What is the name of the clinic you used? What services and prices does this clinic offer? Mexican clinic pulled a lot of money from us.We hope to find clinic with affordable price. Was there a possibility to pay in parts? I’m little bit afraid to give all money right away… I think that clinic may slow down if it gets all money. Staff receives what they want and they don’t harry with the process. I’ve read about such cases. We really don’t want to waste time. I understand they can’t clap and surrogate mother would appear immediately. I just don’t want to wait for months and years in expectation of miracle.