Terrified to POAS


#1

Ok, so I am day 13 piui and I have been fighting the urge to test for several days. But now, I feel like I’m having symptoms. I am terrified that this is all in my head and I am going to be devastated to get a BFN. I have dared to hope and be optimistic. What if that comes back to haunt me? I had planned to buy a test on the way home from work and take it this evening while my husband is teaching his night class. That way I can get some of the crying out while he’s gone. Is anyone else feeling this way? :eek:


#2

MK, I am 13dpiui today as well and just like you, I am absolutely terrified! The previous months I always started testing on 12dpiui, but this month, i swore to myself that I’ll wait. But now I am freaking out, knowing that tomorrow morning, I am supposed to test. I really dont want to know if its going to be another BFN. Like someone else said on another threat, its like the test is laughing in my face if its negative again.

What symptoms have you been having?
Here are the symptoms I have been experiencing in the last 2 week (keep in mind, I am on prometrium, which can contribute a lot to these):

  • Extreme fatigue
  • Hard nipples (like all the time)
  • Twinges, Cramps at different times
  • Increased CM (clear, white, stretchy, milky)
  • Headaches
  • Agitated & no patience
  • lower back pain
  • bloated
  • weird BM’s (sometimes lots, sometimes constipation)
  • feeling generally icky & sick
  • dizzy
  • nausea
  • gassy

Did you experience any of those? Best of luck with your POAS tonight. Keep us posted!


#3

[quote=ssnikitas]MK, I am 13dpiui today as well and just like you, I am absolutely terrified! The previous months I always started testing on 12dpiui, but this month, i swore to myself that I’ll wait. But now I am freaking out, knowing that tomorrow morning, I am supposed to test. I really dont want to know if its going to be another BFN. Like someone else said on another threat, its like the test is laughing in my face if its negative again.

What symptoms have you been having?
Here are the symptoms I have been experiencing in the last 2 week (keep in mind, I am on prometrium, which can contribute a lot to these):

  • Extreme fatigue
  • Hard nipples (like all the time)
  • Twinges, Cramps at different times
  • Increased CM (clear, white, stretchy, milky)
  • Headaches
  • Agitated & no patience
  • lower back pain
  • bloated
  • weird BM’s (sometimes lots, sometimes constipation)
  • feeling generally icky & sick
  • dizzy
  • nausea
  • gassy

Did you experience any of those? Best of luck with your POAS tonight. Keep us posted![/quote]

HI! Thank you so much for responding. I am on pins and needles. Symptoms I have felt over the last few days (some of which may be real or imagined) are:
-twinges and cramps
-general ickiness and nausea
-gassy
-constipation and diarrhea (weird, I know)
-sore boobs (only a little bit and only this morning)
-fatigue (hit me suddenly over the weekend)

I’m so afraid I am looking for these things and that is why they are there. I’ve been disappointed before, of course, but I’m so much more afraid of the let down this time since it was our first IUI.

I got you get your BFP tomorrow. Again, thanks so much for responding. It makes me feel so much better to hear from the other ladies.


#4

I am a POAS junkie. I POAS once at 8dpiui = bfn. I POAS twice yesterday (9dpiui) = 2 faint bfp. I POAS today (FMU) at 10dpiui = faint bfp; however, the line doesn’t appear to be getting an darker.

I plan on POAS again when I get off work just to see if the line is getting darker. I will also POAS in the morning too. I don’t think I would be quite so bad if I had gotten BFN or a solid BFP, but this faint BFP is driving me nuts, LOL!

Good luck to you 2!


#5

I hear you. I am at the same point…wanting to test but very afraid too. I will test Thursday if nothing happens between now and Wednesday…as I am on progesterone suppositories. I have a few symptoms but they seem to have gone away…only thing I have is slightly sore nipples, a horribly dry and nasty tasting mouth, and cm.


#6

Hi Ladies,

I just tested on 12/4 (16dpiui) and have been testing ever since and all HPT’s are showing :bfp:. Did my first Beta this morning and am waiting for results.

I totally hear you about not wanting to test early but can’t really wait. I’ve been there. But also I’d like to suggest you gals wait until the 16dpiui so to make sure the hcg trigger shot is completely out of your body. You don’t want to test early to get a false positive and later on be disappointed big time.

My experience from this cycle (my first IUI cycle) is, I tried to prepare for the worst, that I only had 1 follicle to trigger so the chance might be slim. If it happens then I’m really blessed and if it’s not hey it’s my first IUI and only had one follicle to start with, nothing to complain about there. After thinking this way I could relax and not to think about it 24/7. I go about my daily activities, and thanks to the Thanksgiving holiday my mood was elevated a lot without thinking too much about the cycle treatment. In other words, I didn’t keep my hope high which I think it helped me pass through the 2ww. You can’t have the mentality that you HAVE TO see :bfp:, no. Just let it be and sometimes the rewards are for those people who can patiently wait.

I know it’s easier said than done, but try to take your mind somewhere else. The more you hold on to it, the less it’s going to show up what you want. This is just my experience. Hope this helps and I’ll be praying for you ladies!


#7

Tested this morning (day 14) and got a :bfn:. I feel like I’m losing my mind because I was “feeling” all those symptoms.

Good luck to those who are still waiting.


#8

What symptoms have you been having?

  • Extreme fatigue ++yes
  • Hard nipples (like all the time) ++ yes
  • Twinges, Cramps at different times ++yes
  • Increased CM (clear, white, stretchy, milky) ++yes
  • Headaches – NO
  • Agitated & no patience ++yes
  • lower back pain-- NO
  • bloated YES
  • weird BM’s (sometimes lots, sometimes constipation) NO
  • feeling generally icky & sick NO
  • dizzy NO
  • nausea NO
  • gassy YES

#9

[QUOTE=mk2846]Tested this morning (day 14) and got a :bfn:. I feel like I’m losing my mind because I was “feeling” all those symptoms.

Good luck to those who are still waiting.[/QUOTE]

WISH U all the best darling
hope things work out
but what ever happens just keep the faith and hope high:grouphug:


#10

[QUOTE=mk2846]Tested this morning (day 14) and got a :bfn:. I feel like I’m losing my mind because I was “feeling” all those symptoms.

Good luck to those who are still waiting.[/QUOTE]

WISH U all the best darling
hope things work out
but what ever happens just keep the faith and hope high:grouphug:
:cross: bee postive:cross:


#11

MK, I am out as well. Tested :bfn: this AM (14dpiui). Really frustrated and pissed off at this point. Not sure what we’ll do moving forward. Definitely taking December off. Starting to believe that I am not meant to have children. Valentines Day will be 4 years and I got nothing to show for. Really loosing hope here. :frowning:


#12

I was having the same thoughts this morning. Do I really want to keep doing this to myself? I am miserable. I am rapidly reaching the point where I will need to move on from treatments and focus on adoption. I am afraid my husband isn’t there yet, though. He seems to have a harder time wrapping his mind around adoption. I also wonder about a child free life. I don’t really want that, and I guess thinking about it is more of a defense mechanism than anything else. I am just so tired of being hurt.


#13

Ok so I am going to tell you what my doctor said. You had your lap in July… and removed Endo. Its like the clock is resetting when you remove a primary source of IF. I know it doesnt feel like that in your mind, but you really have to try to focus on that.

You have only had one IUI and I think you have a long way to go before giving up. I think you need to mourn this cycle for a couple of days and you will feel better and ready to move onto the next cycle.

AFM- I have really been thinking that I want to stick with IUI for a while. I have seen lots of women on here get pregnant on the 5th or 6th IUI. I am very close to your age so I know what you are feeling, that time is ticking away. But I feel like for myself IVF is just too expensive. I think of all the things I could do with $20K, I dont know. I think maybe we will do three cycles of IUI, take a month off and then do three more. Unless the doc convinces me otherwise.


#14

Hi Ladies,

You gals are way too young to give up! I was 33 years old when I did my first IUI in November, and got a :bfp:on 12/6. My first beta came back 312 and am waiting for my 2nd/3rd beta tests.

Lots of women even got pregnant at their late 30’s, so I think you gals should keep your faith. In my experience, try NOT to tell yourself you feel this is the month, because it usually isn’t. In June I was SO certain I was pregnant because my period was late for a week, then boom :bfn:. After that I kinda let go a bit, doing everything we could but in a more relaxed state of mind, doing Yoga for a few months before I started my first IUI treatment in November. I didn’t even hold my hopes high for the Nov treatment because I only had 1 follicle. And I kept telling myself if the baby will come, he/she will come for sure. Don’t keep planting the idea in your heads that you have to have it, because usually it’ll be a let down. Let go a bit and good things will turn around believe me.

I’ll be praying for you!


#15

Thanks to everyone for your support and encouragement. Even though :af: has arrived, I am feeling much better about things. I will be taking December off, but we’ll do at least two more IUIs. I just need to stay optimistic!


#16

MK2846, I want to say I am sorry about :af: showing her ugly face. Yes, please stay optimisitic because it will happen for you.
I want to tell that, I too, took December off last year as well as November ( I had a lap procedure done). I had to wait out these two cycles and start again in January. It was IUI #3 and lo and behold, I got my BFP! I couldn’t believe it. I also have a fibroid. I did not have it removed though, but it did not give me complications ( Thank God) during my pregnancy.
Sometimes I don’t like listening to doctors with their statistics and “the chances are this and that”. If you believe and have the faith, it will happen!!