That was a BAD idea....


I am 11dpo, my IUI was canceled this cycle but we did the :dance:so there is a possibility I could be preggers. But, I know I’m not…I never am. The DH and I have talked about adoption, well today I decided to start some research on adoption in our state. I know it can take a long time so I figured it can’t hurt to look into it and get things rolling. BAD IDEA! I was visiting a website that has pics and a little background of the adoptable children and I was doing ok…at first. Then I saw the most adorable set of twins. I started getting teary eyed so I went to a different child’s pic. That was worse, it was a little girl and the background said she needs extra emotional support due to her history of abuse and neglect. It was uncontrolled sobbing and anger after that. I thought looking into adoption would be a positive step, turns out it just made me feel worse about me and more negative about the world. WTH is wrong with parents like that?!? And why do they get to have 1, 2, 3, or 4 children that they abuse or neglect and I can’t have 1? My head knows the obvious answer to this “that’s life” but try telling my heart that! I really don’t know where to go from here. How can we adopt if I can’t even look at a random child’s picture and a read a tiny snippet about them? Any advice or support would be greatly appreciated…


I feel you girlie! I am 28 and have never been pregnant as well, and never not tried to be. We are just now starting with a RE and hopefully can get somewhere but after all these years with not even a single pos test I have my doubts. I always said I wanted to adopt… and would snatch a few kids up in a heartbeat (due to their bad parents) if it we’re an option. It always breaks my heart to see horrible parents. We have a friend here who actually found their daughter online, it was an online yard sale site and the mother posted that she was giving her baby up for adoption and my friend contacted her and 3 months later they took her home from the hospital. it blows my mind at how some people can get pregnant so easily and just as easily walk away from their child. One mystery of life I will never understand. Just keep your head up, as hard as that may be, and **** it cry when you want to… you deserve it.

Much love and baby dust to you!


Thanks so much Kristin! I really appreciate your support and outlook :slight_smile: And you’re right, I deserve to cry when I want to…**** it! LOL. Good luck with your new journey working with an RE, it can be pretty overwhelming at first but all in all I’m glad I quit denying we had a problem and needed help with IF. I’ll be :pray: for you. Keep me updated on how it’s going. Lots of :babydust::babydust::babydust: to you!


I have to admit, last october, I did the same thing as you. The month previously, I had a miscarriage and D & C. I thought for sure the IUI we were doing in October wouldn’t work. We always wanted to adopt, as my husband is adopted. We just thought that it would be after we had a few of our own. So I decided to contact the state about adopting a child. I too went on our state’s website, and saw a picture of the most beautiful little girl, who was blind and had brain damage due to shaken baby syndrome. I saw her face, showed her to my husband, and said to him “she needs us”. So we contacted the state, and got the process rolling to adopt her. We started taking the required classes, and the day before our home inspection with the adoption cooridinator, I found out I was pregnant. We still wanted to go through with the adoption. We were overjoyed at the prospect of welcoming two children into our hearts! When the adoption coordinator came, she was so happy. She thougt that we were the perfect family for this special little girl. But she told us that there was a possiblity that she would be placed with her grandparents, who lived in Brazil. Since she was being honest with us, I felt the need to be honest with her, and I told her that we had just found out we were pregnant. Her face just dropped, and said that our state won’t let you adopt if you are pregnant or within 1 year of having a child.
I was absolutely devestated. I felt like I had lost another baby. As it turns out, it wouldn’t have worked out anyways as her grandparents in Brazil ended up gaining custody of her. But it was such a hard blow.

I find it very unfair that people take for granted what they have, and end up abusing their children. It really really sucks…

Hang in there sweetie…I will :cross: that this is your month!!