The wait is making me NUTS!


#1

So, I had my ER last Tuesday and ET last Friday…not the great news I was expecting, which is also why I find myself in this really annoying limbo of irritation and impatience: got 14 eggs, 11 mature enough to ICSI, 6 survived to embryo. Great! But then I find out that of the six, four are grade C, two are B-, and only one of them has 5 cells - the rest are all 4-, 3- and a 2-cell. NOT great. Plus ER said there was cell fragmentation on all. Even more not great. ER says it’s probably due to sperm issues, since my oocytes were all jolly until DH’s boys got in there. sigh.

So they put the two B-'s in - a 5 cell and a 4 cell, and now it’s hurry up and wait.

My huz says they shouldn’t have even told me about the quality because I’d be in a totally different frame of mind…he’s right, if they’d said they were grade A perfect 8-cells I’d be feeling really confident now. But as it is, I’m sad, annoyed, and aggravated with myself for having any expectations in the first place from a process that’s clearly so unpredictable. And normally when I feel this way - which is rare!!! - I hit the gym, clean the house, tune up the bikes - basically get some heart pumping exercise. Or at least have a couple of drinks!! NEITHER of which is an option, and I feel like while I’m trying to ‘relax’ and not obsessively google for 4-cell day3 success stories I’m going completely bat$hit.

UGH. Anyone else in the same boat & care to commiserate?


#2

What I have learned from this crazy rollercoaster ride is don’t count out your embabies based on grades. There are stories after stories of the worst looking embryos making perfect babies and the prettiest embryos yielding only heartache and every other possible scenario in between.

Good luck! :bsv::gsv:


#3

The two week wait sucks! All I can tell you is that stats lie. Once we had a first beta OVER 1,000. Nurses and everyone thought it was twins or even trips for sure. We ended up having an early miscarriage of one baby. Also, I have seen many “not so great embryos” go on to be healthy babies, and some “perfect” blast, that have become negatives!

Try to keep yourself busy and don’t think any more than you have to!!! I know…easier said than done :).


#4

Totally agree, grading is good for understanding how they look but definately not good for us during out 2ww. I had the most perfect 2 embryos transferred last cycle and it didn’t work.

I have a friend who almost didn’t do a transfer as the one embryo they had was terrible looking, lots of fragmentation and smaller than expected for the day…she is due in a few weeks!

Try to stay positive and don’t let it get to you…I know, easier said than done!:grouphug:


#5

My friend was in a similar situation twice with embryos that started to arrest and fragment after day 3 (yes, likely a sperm problem); but they went ahead and transferred the best looking embryos both times (despite thinking it was pointless), and she had a healthy singleton child each time. Until this cycle for me, my “perfect” embryos all failed me. Your uterus is a much better incubator!

It sucks that there is so much that remains unknown, I guess that’s why it takes almost 3 cycles on average to have a healthy pregnancy… Don’t give up yet! I hope that this cycle does work for you! :grouphug::babydust:


#6

Thanks, all. :thankyou: It does help to be reminded that things will work out however they work out. Only 6 more days till the first blood test…and one of my friends just reminded me that TV is a totally acceptable drug to distract from the wait :slight_smile: I guess with all this downtime, I may as well catch up on all those hot new series people keep talking about!