There are no words for the heartache


I never thought I’d go through the heartache of a sister or in law getting pregnant before me. I have a brother who knows he won’t get his go pregnant b/c he’s not ready. And I trust that. My sister in laws from DH side are great & also not ready and won’t get pregnant…yet. Then out of nowhere mom calls to say my cousin, who we helped raise is pregnant! She just turned 20 & got knocked up ( sorry…that’s what it is) by some guy that her parents were housing b/c his dad kicked him out. Nice way to repay right? So she’s going to try to make it work…but they never had a relationship b/c they just messed around. There was no like/love. They just were “buddies” if u get my drift.

So I didn’t cry right away. But what got me was when mom said…she’s due in August! Are u kidding me! Just writing this make my chest tighten. She then text me asking if I knew. I just said yes. Then she put lol ok. Ugh! So I just said good luck. I don’t think she realized that meant…ur screwed. She has no idea what having a baby entails.

I think My uncle feels bad for me b/c not only is he angry with her but he’s been hugging me a lot. My aunt is totally insensitive & I’m the witch b/c I’m not happy. There’s nothing to be happy about. This isn’t a congratulatory situation. She messed around! But I look jealous and like the bad person. I feel like screaming.:grr: