Those with BFN and on try #3+

#1

This posting is for all of you out there that have tried and tried IVF/FET and are feeling angry, hopeless or confused as to what to do next. I was in this same exact boat exactly one year ago.

One year ago to this day I started my 8th fresh cycle! Yes you read that right EIGHT! It was on this day one year ago while I was driving to my first monitoring appointment for ultrasound and blood work I was thinking “How did I get to this point?” Well ill tell you it was a lot of stupidity and being naive. I mean we all have this dream about being an amazing parent and sometimes you think you’re thinking rationally but you’re not…if you’re in this situation please learn from my experience.

My husband and I were told 5 years ago that his sperm sucked and we could only get pregnant via IVF. We went to a clinic who has “great” ratings through SART only to waste 5 fresh cycles there. After each failed cycle they would be like “oh the problem now is fill in the blank_” I’m thinking why the heck didn’t you check for that in the first place? And why am I paying for this financially and emotionally? I mean its easier to play Monday morning quarterback but come on…then we switched clinics.

The second clinic was awesome but the best thing that came of it is I old myself they have 2 shots at getting me pregnant. If they can’t learn by their “trial and error” of their first try plus reviewing the notes of my last clinic and the multiple tries there…then I need to move on. After a miscarriage and chemical we left for CCRM. I learned to cut the IVF umbilical cord and loyalty we all have to our REs and Clínics.

So CCRM- I thought I was crazy for traveling to another state but they do have the best lab and they’ve developed most if the protocols all of the clinics are using. I knew this a long time ago but thought “it’s too expensive” or “ill try other local clinics”. But honestly I spent so much money at the local clinics (close to 80k) that Colorado would have been a lot cheaper to go to as my first choice! Anyhow I am sitting here holding my baby girl who is 6 weeks old and thinking if I knew then what I know now I would have saved so many years, depressed days and periods of isolation from family and friends. I feel like I should have treated myself to why I deserved- the best- early on. And not tried so many times with one clinic. Also- do your genetic testing and be thorough even if they “find” a simple problem like low sperm count (which ended up not even being our only problem)…it usually isn’t that simple.

I don’t mean to ramble or promote any specific clinic. But please don’t cheat yourself o thorough work ups (even if you think it’s saving you money or cutting corners) and don’t stay in one place too long :slight_smile:

Best of luck and baby dust to all of you!

#2

Hi DocPraying4Miracles, Can i ask what other problems they found and why it took so long? Thanks, Dana

#3

Congratulations on your dd. She has a very unique name:)

I know exactly what you are talking about. I spent 2 years in a clinic that was famous for its success, but obviously for relatively simple cases. They never tested my reasons for failure. They would only slightly change the protocol, give you baby aspirin and other things without actually testing you. I wanted to give up on it from the very beginning, but my dh was persistent because he believed in them.i wasn’t happy, I mean 2 years passed with a mc, chemical and 2 bnf. I started researching and I came across this forum. One of the clinics seemed good and offered cgh testing. At that time, I had a doubt about embryos that had been transferred to me earlier-all day 3 because they were not doing day 5. We went to that clinic in PA. First time no blasts on day 5 but we got 2on day 6 and both normal. Swe froze them. Second time, no blasts at all. then, next time we got 3 on day 5 and 1 on day 6. We had a transfer on day 6 with the previously frozen blast and one from the fresh cycle. I got pregnant - beta 83. After 48 hrs, we discovered it was another chemical. At that point, I was really shocked. My husband didn’t speak for 3 days…he was very much hurt. I started researching again…came across dr. Braverman, the reproductive immunologist. I called his office immediately. I explained that we were coming from another continent and what happened. We asked for the urgent appointment. He told us to come. We went to him in Long Island. They tested us. Turned out I had slightly elevated tnf and we shared 6 hla matches.all of this in addition to severe mf, but we knew that before. He told us about neupogen. Now we are working on getting normal embryos. We got 2 with him, a boy and a girl.they were frozen. We will do one or two more cycles and then go for fet. I hope so much thst with God’s help neupogen will be our answer because it seems those matches cause death of our normal embryos.
Sometimes people wonder why things like this happen I believe to the certain extent thst it is so because we light a path for others. Not all the people are proactive and they learn from the others. I have a friend who has been ttc for 8 years…very difficult case…did more thsn 10 transfers (I dare to say close to 20).however, she was going from one failure to another. Also, she was following local forums thst I didn’t care about muvh because I know how things go where we are.3 days ago she had another failure and she is devastated. She bever heard of cgh before I told her (she speaks English and could have done some research but she was directed in a wrong direction). Also, dr. Braverman was not known to her. I told her about him and explained his practice. So now, she decided to ask him for a opinion.i strongly believe he is her key and if he couldnt help her, I don’t think anyone else could. So, perhaps but God only knows, I was given this problem to direct my friend. I hope both of us will succeed soon since it took us so long now and no results.
Women desling with infertility must be into research more and must ve their own advocates. Also, do not waste time and money on drs that wouldnt give you answers or would just keep repeating same procedures. Move on, even if another dr is more expensive.

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#4

Initially they said my husband was the problem because he only had 10 million sperm…

After my first cycle they Said I only made 6 eggs (at the age of 31) because my FSH was SO high (8.5). Really? They said my body had numbers of a woman in her 40s…not true and there are tons of women with ranges of FSH levels lower and higher than 8.5.

After my cycles 2-5 they said it was because I was anti phospholipid positive and that I just simply had bad luck.
(All this time I was on MASSIVE doses of medication)

I switched Clinics and the new clinic said my eggs didn’t stand a chance after being fried with all those meds so they lowered the doses significantly. I had a great cycle with 7 blasts made…I asked them to do genetics and they told me not to…I was so young and there is no way I would have genetic abnormalities…I had a miscarriage.

The next cycle I transferred a frozen embryo thy I ha them thaw and test genetically but I didn’t get pregnant. I went into my 7th fresh cycle after they biopsies my uterus and told me I was beta integrin negative (I went on depot for 2 months)…that cycle ended up in only 3 day 5 embryos and a bfn.

When I switched clinics they did more comprehensive testing…and told me infertility was quite simple. Taking out male factor…it’s either my uterus or my egg. I know CCRM has amazing media they grow the embryos in…and I thought ill just try. The protocol was different. They didn’t put me on any birth control because while I’m hard to stim I’m easy to inhibit…they did CCS which is the most comprehensive genetic testing followed by a frozen transfer…and it worked.

There’s too much history in 5 years time to go over every detail that was changed but eventually I just said test me for EVERYTHING- I even had my husband and I tested for cystic fibrosis and sickle cell carriers although we aren’t the traditional “races” that are affected by those diseases. We wanted to try everything before we looked at other options of being parents…

Again- this post wasn’t meant to give people medical advice or to Promote any one doctor or clinic but to make you guys aware that YOU are in charge of your decisions and fertility treatments :slight_smile: