Tips on dealing w/ emotional rollercoaster


I read that going through IVF is like living on the edge of suspense novel – anxious with every update from RE clinic. After two canceled cycles in the last year, we’re in our third attempt and finally got past egg retrieval --ER on Monday, 3 fertilized eggs (ICSI) developing well, plan is for day 5 transfer on Saturday. I’ve been fortunate to take a few weeks away from work (stressful job) to give this our best shot but I didn’t realize what an emotional toll this is having on me until my RE’s nurse didn’t call today until much later in the day than usual. Every worse case scenario ran through my mind and I decided to prepare myself for devastating news – so when I got the news that all’s still looking good for the ET on day 5, instead of relief I broke down with an over whelming sense of fear. I’m a pretty composed, grounded person - and this breakdown of emotion was a first for me. What is that? Of course I’m happy with the news but the anxiety just doesn’t let up.

I’m finding it difficult to talk with anyone besides DH about this (and he’s been great) - only a few close friends know we’re going through IV and as wonderful as they are, they can’t relate to the day to day living on edge. So after lurking on this site for a while, I thought I’d post and see if others have tips/advice on maintaining our sanities during this process…and I’m not even at the 2ww yet! BTW - I am eating well (natural foods, no processed food, actually losing a few pounds in the process), doing acupuncture, light exercise and yoga until ET (trying to stay relaxed and healthy) but the emotional part I’m finding hard to control…:confused:


It’s definitely a roller coaster for sure. The only thing that seems to help me is keeping busy and allowing myself fo feel however I’m feeling at that time. If I’m sad I don’t fight it and I let it out! I’ve considered seeing a therapist as well but I’m sick of appointments!:grr:


Keep yourself busy and don’t over-analyze every little details. I was a hot mess my entire first cycle and for several months after my :bfn: . Are you on a protocol that uses Lupron? I swear that stuff made me crazy! We did an antagonist protocol this time to avoid the Lupron and I’m MUCH more emotionally stable!


I really think it’s just the nature of the game. You’ve got a butt load of hormones coursing through your body and it just makes it that much harder to control your emotions. That coupled with the fact you’re paying thousands of $$ out of pocket, if insurance doesn’t cover it.

Just know you’re not alone in this journey and take it a day at a time. Come to these boards when you need to get something off your chest.


sitcoms and ambien :wink:


It is difficult. And as the time passes, becomes more and more. It’s not only that disappointment takes place because of failure but you start worrying about the health and there is this constant race with time.
May God help us all.


I think the advice you got about staying busy and finding distractions is pretty good. When you are stressed, your body’s resources are funneled from your reproductive organs and non-essential functions and shifted elsewhere. In nature, stress is supposed to help us solve impending problems (back when running away or smashing stuff used to solve about 90 percent of our problems), but in our current situations, its just counter productive. Thus, finding ways to distract yourself is critical for success. If you aren’t thinking about fertility issues as much, you won’t be under as much stress.


It is definitely hard. I am also a grounded person and felt the exact same things you described. Just do the best you can and it’s OK to lose your emotions whenever you need to.

Also, since your ET isn’t until Saturday, enjoy a nice adult beverage if that’s something you like!


Thanks for your helpful words ladies. I’ve had limited physical side effects from the meds, so it’s been easy for me to forget about all the hormones - evidently, the psych side effects may be more powerful for me. I’m taking your words to heart - realizing that this is a common journey for so many of us and the emotions are just part of the process. Good vibes for us all!

Appgirl82 - Congrats on your upcoming bundle of joy!!!:grouphug:


Like someone said, live one day at a time.
If you like television, start watching sitcoms. They are addictive and keep mind occupied. I am scared of injections. So I tell myself - take these two injections and then you can watch 2 episodes of That 70s Show.
A lot of people say that talking to friends eases the pressure but that doesn’t really help in my case. Friends give advices to show they care and with repetitive failures those advices become very annoying. Only women going through infertility can understand how difficult it is.


Thanks daisyduck - I’m in the same boat re: talking with friends. I love them and they mean well but they really don’t know what else to say except that they are happy that we are able to pursue IVF - and one I suspect may not approve of IVF although she’s a good enough friend to not say so. I just had ET today - am feeling positive and want so much to call a few friends to let them know we made it all the way to ET but if we’re not BFP, then that’s just more people then to deal with Qs from…so will sit anxiously in silence for the next 8 days…

You’re right in that only those going through infertility really understand - it can be a lonely experience for us and our DHs.:grouphug:


To be honest, I don’t like talking about all of this with my friends who are in the ssame boat, esp if they keep asking questions all the time while I’m in the stimmulation process. I think I’m fed up with thr overall process and trying to push awsy anything that has to do with it. However, I like reading things on this forum.


COG, I felt the same… When ET was done, I felt like sharing with my friends, especially during the 2ww. But now I feel so glad I didn’t tell them, because I ended up with a chemical pregnancy anyway. Some friends have told me I may not be religious enough and others have advised on going for natural therapies and medicines. Really? if all that had worked, i wouldn’t be spending $15K per cycle. As I said they won’t understand because they conceived as soon as they planned for it and they think that happened because of their positive attitude and things alike. Anyway, they are still friends. :slight_smile:
I hope you have a successful cycle. GL! :bsv: