Tragedy and recent hope


#1

Hello to everybody! How is it going? I’m completely new here.
Thank you for that you allowed me to join this forum. It is so nice to be a participator of your community. You are a wonderful group of people.
Unfortunately most of us are united by health problems. It’s really unsettling. Anyway I guess we’ll cope with it.
I’ve already read several interesting topics. I would love to discuss some of them. But firstly I want to introduce myself.
I’m going to share something that is my treasure and tragedy at the same time. This is my own experience. This memory made me fall and raised me one day.
I’d prefer to forget it. Some episodes of my past were really unpleasant. We keep our past not only for pleasure.
I’m now feeling well to share it. Hope it’ll not bore you too much. I know someone will read and support.
My husband thinks I’m wasting my time sitting on the forums. He never created accounts. I don’t agree with him.
I get much support and knowledge here. It’s possibility to find amazing people. We share our pains and concerns.
It’s the way to resolve something disturbing and hurtful. I’m Mahal. And I suffer from Infertility.
I love children but I don’t have them yet. I dreamt of being a mom since I was a baby. It seems so naturally to me to be pregnant and give birth.
In fact it is physically unable for me to do it. I live without uterus. It’s not a congenital problem.
I met and got married with my husband about 10 years ago. I never regretted my choice. He proved his importance at the most terrible period of our lives.
I appreciate his cool mind. His ability to solve twisted problems is awesome. As well he’s very handsome.
We didn’t spend much time trying to conceive. Honestly we just have been making love.
One day we found out I was pregnant. It wasn’t surprising for me. But it just made us happy.
We understood it was appropriate time. We started waiting for a baby. Try to conceive hasn’t taken much effort.
We had it in natural way for the first and the last time. No one expected such horrible event. It added some tragedy to our lives.
The course of my pregnancy was smooth. I didn’t feel sickness at all. My baby was so active.
I decided to not leave my work. I wanted to work more as it was possible. It was about 30th week of pregnancy.
It was December. I was driving back home from work. The car skidded on the ice.
There wasn’t a hard hit. I’ve just crashed into the road stopper. Perhaps I was too scared.
I suddenly felt abdominal pain. It was becoming stronger. I called the ambulance.
But they came too late because of ice on the road. I already knew what had happened when they came. My baby died.
It wasn’t the end for me. I had heavy bleeding. The doctor had to start surgery.
He removed my uterus. There wasn’t any way out. I understood it.
Since then I fell into depression. My husband was the only man I could see. It wasn’t easy for him.
I can’t express my huge gratitude to him. He’s my legend. Everything is left behind.
We overcame it. I’m so glad because I have something special to share. I’ll do it at part 2 of my story. This one is called tragedy. Thank you for reading.


#2

Welcome to the forum dear. I am happy you shared your story. I am a daily visitor of this forum. I love to read success stories here. Congratulations for your first baby. I am also to hear about your loss. You are indeed a strong woman. Don’t lose hope. There are other options a well. You can go for surrogacy if you want a baby. The process is very simple. Talk with your partner. The one and only thing you need is your partner’s support. I hope you both will make the right decision. Looking forward to hear from you soon. Best of luck for the future. Kisses and hugs for the child.


#3

Good afternoon dear! I’m completely confused. It was so sounding into deep.
That was certainly unbelievable. Thank you, you didn’t describe that all in colors. I thought it would be too much for me. I don’t think it bored me or something like that. You just can be happy because you have got such an amazing man. My husband only disappoints me lately.
Only God knows what you had to go through. You said you were in depression. How was it going?
I’m wondering how such a young girl overcame it! I have maybe similar problem. It seems I know what it means to be deeply into shit.
You may call yourself a hero. I hope you’re going to tell some good news. For example you adopted a baby.
Looking at the topic I think this news is related to surrogacy. Feel free to tell about it. People must know more. I know how urgent help is needed when you are in depression. I don’t know who surround you besides your husband.
Unfortunately I can even relate to you at that. I had terrible frustration after my hysterectomy. You are such a great one. Maybe because it’s in the screen but seems you are able to solve big problems. I don’t know where you find inspiration. In my turn I can’t move on.
Unfortunately, my husband doesn’t have the same lifestyle as yours. He is very passive and lazy. He doesn’t want to change anything.
Seemed he was an amazing man several years ago. Maybe my infertility causes all these problems. Maybe he stopped loving me.
I forgot the time when I saw him completely sober. We don’t make love for a year. Sorry for such an open conversation. But I’m in despair. We have to begin doing something. I’m planning surrogacy for already 2 years. He doesn’t give a f… his main business is to have fun with his guys. I’m weak without his help.


#4

My second part is about our great progress! As you could see my TTC wasn’t my profession. I got pregnant easily. Today it’s even banned to dream of it. I have been blaming myself so hard. My man tried to dissuade me.
I was sure it had been my fault. My baby died because of my mistake. I lost the most important organ for parenting. Yes, it was an awful period of time. Actually we couldn’t to start our journey. It must take time to accept surrogacy.
Only after 6 months of absence of changes I began understanding surrogacy was the only way out. it seemed too unfair. I didn’t understand why I had to go through it.
We were sitting together. And that idea just came by itself. We agreed it as our chance.
Our hope has rises again. But it was another issue what to choose? There were too many similar clinics. We were free to go to US. We could find it in Georgia. My husband allowed me to find out more on Internet. I spent 2 months searching for the answer. Fortunately people helped me to stop. Next day we have contacted Ukrainian facility. It’s possible he hear much information on it on Internet. I don’t want to mention its name. I’d like to conceal it until the even happens.
We are waiting for our surrogate’s pregnancy test. Two days ago she had embryo transfer. We hope everything will be all right.


#5

I am extremely sorry to hear about your loss it must be extremely devastating.
However, you shouldn’t be afraid to go for surrogacy as it is a rescue for so many women who are unable to conceive naturally. It is a great method as it allows one to be genetically linked with the baby and has a high rate of success as well. Being in the same boat I was lucky enough to find a clinic which is very inexpensive as compared to the clinic where I live. The clinic was doing the treatment legally and was also ensuring that everyone was following the legal framework. I was concerned about the health of the surrogates one of the reasons why I didn’t opt for private surrogacy. However, was glad to find out that in this clinic they had a medical test and if one passed it then they were only eligible to be the surrogates. Once a surrogate was pregnant she had to visit the clinic daily for check-ups as well. This was honestly amazing as the clinic was so efficient. The technology being used was so advanced that it was a complete mind blown moment for me. I was also very particular about the part where the custody of the child should belong to me. I was glad that the child’s rights would belong to me and I honestly felt better. Keeping the whole treatment secret would also be possible as you’ll be abroad for it. However, just make sure that your DH is in this with you otherwise there is no harm in opting for it. Always feel free to ask me more questions I am always ready to help. I hope you are soon able to conceive sending baby dust your way.


#6

Hey. I hope you are doing fine. Welcome to this forum. I hope you have a great time here. And, you make new friends soon. I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I know you must have had hard time. Losing your first baby is really agonizing. But, on the same time I am glad to see that you are a courageous lady. You did not lose hope. You are facing all this with a bright smile on your face. So lucky you have an amazing husband. May you two always stay happy. Well, tragedy? I am so keen to know about what you are planning next. Keep me updated. I can’t wait for it any longer. Good luck for it. Stay safe.


#7

Welcome to the discussion dear. I am upbeat you shared your story. I am a day by day guest of this discussion. I want to peruse examples of overcoming adversity here. Congrats on your first child. I am likewise to find out about your misfortune. You are to be sure a solid lady. Try not to lose trust. There are different choices a well. You can go for surrogacy in the event that you need an infant. The procedure is extremely basic. Chat with your accomplice. The unrivaled thing you require is your accomplice’s help. I trust you both will settle on the correct choice. Anticipating get notification from you soon. Good luck for what’s to come. Kisses and embraces for the youngster.


#8

Good luck lilly.
Surrogacy is a blessing for many women and families.With this surrogacy many women are able to hold their babies.Some women cannot carry their baby in their womb.So they need someone else to carry their kid.Surrogacy is the best solution for women like this.
I’m also one of these women.I had hysterectomy cancer due to which i was totally infertile.Than we came to know about surrogacy.We first moved to Europe for surrogacy.Japan has banned surrogacy so we moved to Europe.In Europe we stayed for 4 months.We found many good clinics regarding surrogacy.But we weren’t able to satisfy us.Than we moved to Ukraine to find a good clinic.Ukraine is very popular in surrogacy.Here we found many clinics.But we went for BioTexCom.The clinic helped us to find a good surrogate for us.Now we will have two daughters from the surrogate.We are so happy and excited to hold our little girls.
Wish you all good luck.


#9

Hey! Welcome to the forum. I’m sorry to hear about your struggles. Good luck with what you decide to pursue in the future. I hope it helps you. My genuine wishes are with you. Fingers crossed it’ll work out!


#10

Heartiest welcome to this forum my friend. How are you doing? It just unbelievable. How much you have to go through I hope your life become better soon. I really don’t have words to share my condolences with you. I can just say you bear a lot and you deserved to become a parent. Everything that happens to us because of some reason. And I hope there is definitely a very important reason behind this. I pray to God that everything came to you as soon as possible. Being mother is one of the most beautiful feelings in the world. I am anxiously waiting for your next part. Till then take cares.


#11

This is very disturbing. I mean I dont know how to react. I got stiff for few minutes. How did you manage to overcome this? It must have been a horrible time. You decided to share this with us. We are honored. I mean literally. It must have been so hard to recall. Then write all the details. I adore your strength. I just hope you get a way out. You cannot conceive now. You can still go for surrogacy. Your husband loves you. He will support you indeed. My love is with you. You are more than welcome to talk to me.


#12

Hey, I hope you’re doing well. Your story made me cry. You definitely had to go through a lot however, I am glad you were able to find a solution. There are things that happen in life which are so unexpected that we are never prepared for them. However, even if we arent we have to face them and deal with them. You’re lucky that you have a loving and caring husband who was there in and all these times. You need support and I am glad you had it. Surrogacy has proven to be quite a successful treatment. There are so many people on the internet who are talking about it now. Previously, it was always associated with controversies, however, now all I hear are success stories. Do share your full experience with us. As with surrogacy, everyone tells me that you have to be fully prepared. So I am always eager to learn more about it. I hope the process goes all and all well. Sending baby dust your way.


#13

Hi there Mahal? How are you? Hope you are fine and in good health. Welcome to this forum dear. It is an amazing site where women share their stories. I hope you will get good good piece of advices . You are very strong women. You faced all these hard time with big heart. Congrats for your first baby. I would like to add few things that losing hope and giving up is never the solution. There are many options , which science has provided us. We should choose those options too like surrogacy and IVF. Its good to hear that you have support of your DH. My Good wishes and prayers are with you. Keep smiling dear . Do visit this forum. This is amazing place for women like us.


#15

Hey there! Boy, that was a long post. But I made it. Wecome to the forum. You will find some great women here. Ladies who are fighting for their happiness for years. All them have their own struggles. All of them are their own warriors. And now you are one of us. You’ll get some real guidance here. I am sorry that you went through so much. I know it must have been hard. But you made it. You are talking about it. That shows you a s a strong woman. More power to you my friend. I wish you all the great things in life. Good luck.


#16

Welcome to the forum. I’m sorry about your long TTC. Well, wishing you a blast of luck for your future treatment. I think you’d go for surrogacy treatment. It will definitely make your dream come true. Because success rates in surrogacy from a clinic in Europe are very high. Sending baby dust at you!


#17

Hello dear! I hope you will be fine. First of all, welcome to this forum. I visit here almost every day. After reading your post I felt sad as well as happy. Sad to know about your miscarriage and happy to know about your baby. Your story is quite motivational. you are such a strong girl. It’s a big thing that you have faced. But don’t worry, good days will come soon. Be positive and think abroad. There are so many options now to have a baby and surrogacy is among one of them. It the most trending thing to have your own biological child. It’s a blessing for infertile couples. I think you should also go for it.
My sympathies


#18

Most Welcome to this forum dear. I hope you are fine now. Your story is so shocking. I really think that women like you need to appreciate so much. You have survived a lot. Indeed there is always a dawn of new day after dark night and you proved it right. I am so happy for you. Stay positive and never lose hope. You guys really deserved to be a parent. Love you a lot. Sending you positive vibes.


#19

Hey! Hope so you are doing good. First of all, welcome to this forum. I visit here almost every day. After reading your post I felt sad as well as happy. Sad to know about your miscarriage and happy to know about your baby. Your story is quite motivational. you are such a strong girl. It’s a big thing that you have faced. But don’t worry, good days will come soon. Be positive and think abroad. There are so many options now to have a baby and surrogacy is among one of them. It the most trending thing to have your own biological child. It’s a blessing for infertile couples. I think you should also go for it.
All my sympathies are with you.
Take care


#20

Letting go of a dream is difficult, and the variety of medical technologies available today leads many people to keep trying month after month, year after year. But about a third of women treated for fertility problems won’t bring a baby to term and often must make peace with that before they can move on with their lives. Pursuing treatment, adopting a child, or accepting a life without children are highly individual decisions, and the timing differs for everyone. The bottom line? Consider the whole picture: your financial resources, your support network, and the impact of continued treatment on your emotional and physical health. Soul-searching from this broader context and talking with your doctor and a trusted confidante or mental health professional can help you figure out how far you’re willing to go to become a parent. If you’re in a relationship, be sure to listen to your partner and communicate honestly with each other. With some time and discussion, you’ll know when it’s right for you and your partner to accept the situation and stop treatment. I was also in a similar situation till when I went for surrogacy in Bio tex. I am now a proud mother. So anything is possible dear, do not loose hope.


#21

So much pain in your first post ‘‘tragedy’’…god love you poor thing you’ve suffered too much… I’m absolutely happy you’re currently in the process with Ukrainian clinic. This country is perfect for surrogacy. And it’s surrogacy friendly law makes this country the perfect destination, surely. The baby is considered to be yours from the moment of conception. The surrogate cannot stand any rights. She has no right to keep the baby after delivery which makes couples absolutely safe. The birth certificate is issues with the names of the intended parents, so the baby’s theirs. Eveything’s simple when being guided with professionals in this field. I know for sure our biotex helps the IP with obtaining the birth certificate and other legal services. Friends of mine had a trouble when being at the exit process. She had a single letter differed in their marriage certificate which caused them a huge trouble. But biotex helped them through and soon they could take their baby girl home. Surrogacy may be the blessing for many people. But it’s also a great investment of time, money and relationship. You’ve mentioned you could go to the US instead…I’m so glad you didn’t actually. 'Cause things don’t seem that easy there. Starting from the surrogacy law. Surrogacy in the United States remains unregulated at the federal level, with each individual state having its own laws (or not). The individual state laws vary widely even between states that are considered “surrogacy friendly”. For example, some states allow for surrogacy only for heterosexual couples, while others will allow married couples but not singles. Intended Parents should only consider surrogacy programs in “surrogacy friendly” states that have a supportive legal framework.
A surrogacy friendly legal framework includes these separate court proceedings: The Surrogacy Agreement. This is the contract between the Intended Parent(s) and the Surrogate Mother. The Surrogacy Agreement will detail the responsibilities of both the Intended Parents and the Surrogate, as well as all financial arrangements. The Pre-Birth Order Sometimes called a Declaration of Parentage, this court order is applied for in the 3rd trimester, and dictates that the hospital should inscribe the name of the Intended Parents on the baby’s birth certificate. States that support pre-birth orders will never put the surrogate’s name on the birth certificate (unless directed to by the Intended parents). The Post-Birth Order In states that do not support pre-birth orders, a useful alternative is the post-birth order. This court order determines the parentage of the baby based n the surrogacy agreement, but the order is only issued after the delivery. Typically post-birth orders allow the surrogate an opportunity to contest the Agreement and make a claim for her own parental rights. (For tis reason post-birth orders are not as secure as pre-birth orders.)
Quite challenging, isn’t it?! To my point of view you’ve made the right choice.
Fingers crossed for your 2ww!!