Trying to Cope


#1

This is my first post on this site…I am going through so much emotionally and I feel that the best way to let it out is to vent. However, when I try to speak to family or friends they try their hardest but don’t make me feel better as many of them have not been through this…

I just had a miscarriage and D&C a week ago today. I was around 7 weeks pregnant with my first pregnancy. My husband and I had just heard the heartbeat and we were so excited to be having a baby.

Our whole family was heading out to Florida for a couple of days at Disney world with the Disney cruise to follow. I have 2 beautiful step daughters who I love so much and they were on the trip with us as well as my parents, siblings, and nephews. I started spotting the morning we left and contacted my doctor. It was light spotting and she said could happen around that time frame of pregnancy so I felt a bit better. After we landed and got to the hotel I started feeling like things were not right. The spotting got heavier and I then I started cramping up. My husband took me to the ER where the pain just kept getting worse and worse. I knew without a doubt I has having a miscarriage. Here I was away from home with a terrified family, lying to the kids saying I had a “bad case of food poisoning” It was just an awful situation. After 5 hours in the waiting room, I finally got admitted. The ultrasound confirmed the miscarriage and I had a DandC the following morning.

I rested the next day and still went on the cruise as the doctor said it was ok to do so as long as I didn’t swim, or do too much. I spent the week hiding all of my emotions as much as I could from the kids but it was so hard. To make matters worse I got the flu on the last day of the trip and spent the last few days trying to recover from a fever, body aches, ect…It’s like a couldn’t catch a break! Now that I’m feeling somewhat better the reality is setting in that I’m no longer pregnant and I’m devastated. I know it happens, and I’m not a lone but it’s still so hard to believe.

I truly don’t think I could ever go through this again.I always wanted to be a mom but Im terrified of this happening if we try again.

Sorry for the long story but I needed to vent…If you’re reading this you have probably experienced a miscarriage and i’m truly sorry, it’s so painful…


#2

Im so sorry…

I could say that I know how you are filling, but it does not make the pain go away. I had my first miscarriage when I was 6 weeks and went on to have a very healthy baby boy not long after. I have just lost my twins a few days ago and that was very hard. I was 20 weeks with them. No matter how far along or how many it still hurts. I hate it that everyone says its ok and you can try again so I want say that. I will just say not to give up…


#3

Crystal,

I’m so sorry for your recent loss of the twins, my thoughts and prayers are with you…Thanks for the encouraging words to me as well, means a lot.


#4

Yogagirl- I am so sorry about what you’ve been through! There are no words that could begin to ease the heartbreak but you’ve come to the right place to vent and gain support. The best advice I can offer is, allow yourself all the time you need to go through the grieving process. Whether 6 weeks or 2 months, it was your baby and you and your husband should take time. Hopefully one day God will renew your strength and you’ll consider trying again. God bless & good luck.


#5

Thanks tweet! It’s just tough. One minute I feel like I’ve accepted it and the next minute I’m a mess:-( both of my bro in laws have had babies within the last week, as well as my best friend. I’m so happy for all of them but it also makes me feel bad too…which is so awful of me…I guess I’m just a mess:-(


#6

Really tough

These situations are really hard and perhaps important to note that nothing you did contributed to this loss.

I can say with all my heart and knowledge/experience (personal and professional) that this can work for you.

The issues almost always lies, as I have learned from years of experience with embryoscopy (i can send an attachment on this topic if interested) that chromosomal/genetic issues with the embryo are the root issue with these losses. This does not mean all the eggs/sperm/embryos will be bad going forward—not at all true.

So please hang in and know that at some point success will be had.

Blessings to you


#7

I’m really sorry. You shouldn’t have to hide your feelings. Today is my last day of being pregnant. I am also afraid to go through it again. My husband doesn’t think he can handle it again, and as we know, it affects us women even more. I think time is the only thing that helps, or we just figure out a way to live with our sorrow…you are not alone!