Ttc #2

#1

DH and I have been TTC #2 for 6 cycles now. It took us 2 years and 6 IUIs to conceive our little monster, who is now just about 18 months old. At first I was excited about trying again, but now I’m just disappointed that it hasn’t happened yet and I am really, really, really dreading having to go back to the RE. The thought of having to go through this emotional roller coaster yet again really has me upset and I don’t even know if I want to do it. Even just doing research online - I remember how exhausting it was the first time around and I can’t stand the thought of doing that again.

People tell me all the time that #2 will be much easier to conceive since my body “knows what to do now.” Riiiight. Because it was confused before. Then they inevitably tell me some crazy story about this couple they know… I’m sure we’ve all heard this stuff. I guess I let all of that get to me and I was really hopeful that it would be easier to get pregnant this time around.

Has anyone else felt this way when TTC subsequent children? I need a way to get out of this funk and get down to business!!

#2

[QUOTE=R&T]DH and I have been TTC #2 for 6 cycles now. It took us 2 years and 6 IUIs to conceive our little monster, who is now just about 18 months old. At first I was excited about trying again, but now I’m just disappointed that it hasn’t happened yet and I am really, really, really dreading having to go back to the RE. The thought of having to go through this emotional roller coaster yet again really has me upset and I don’t even know if I want to do it. Even just doing research online - I remember how exhausting it was the first time around and I can’t stand the thought of doing that again.

People tell me all the time that #2 will be much easier to conceive since my body “knows what to do now.” Riiiight. Because it was confused before. Then they inevitably tell me some crazy story about this couple they know… I’m sure we’ve all heard this stuff. I guess I let all of that get to me and I was really hopeful that it would be easier to get pregnant this time around.

Has anyone else felt this way when TTC subsequent children? I need a way to get out of this funk and get down to business!![/QUOTE]

Sorry you are having such a hard time. TTC#2 is harder in many ways then #1 and easier in some. It is nice to have a little one to hold and keep you upbeat on some of thoes bad days. On the other hand it is hard to let your self grieve after failed cycles when you have to put a brave face on for them. Meds are a little harder to deal with when you have such little sleep and a little one pushing all of your buttons all day :slight_smile: having them around reminds you what you are doing all this for. You would never trade going through all this for no children. In the end you know it is totally worth all the stress, time, and money. All the comments are such a pain. The “when is the next one coming” or " it has happened before, it will happen again" or “when god decides it is time, it will happen” as if he is up there going hummm I don’t think it is time yet lets have her go through three years of pain first, ha pretty sure he is not in the business of dealing out pain and heartbreak. All the comments, stress, pain, meds and appointments do get to you at one time or another. In the end you will forget all this when you see the little been on the sono.
Just to let you know there is a thread for secondary IF and that might be a better place to voice your concerns regarding TTC#2 when it come to the fact that it is your #2. Just as a curtiscy to thoes on here that have not had the success of a first pregnancy.
Good luck :babydust:

#3

I’m sorry that it’s been a rough road TTC#2. As you can tell from my signature, I also had a tough road to baby #2. While TTC#1 was full of so much more uncertainty and the fear of never experiencing pregnancy or motherhood and the not knowing why we weren’t getting pregnant, this time was scary in a different way. I went into it with some anxiety that it wouldn’t happen right away but I figured we knew what was wrong so if we tried the same formula as before, it should work. Well, it ended up taking 8 cycles, 2 miscarriages, injectables, and 14 months but we finally achieved what seems to be a successful pregnancy. While I know the pain of TTC#2 can never compare to the pain of TTC#1, it’s still real. The hardest thing for me aside from the losses was seeing all of my friends and acquaintances add to their families and my son getting old enough to start asking about having a little brother or sister because all his little friends were getting little siblings. While I know there is nothing wrong with a child being an only child, my DH and I both have siblings and wanted our child to have that experience also.

For us, it was never an option to try on our own so we had to go to an RE. Even though I’m sure you would prefer not to have to return to the RE, just remember that if that’s the road you have to take, it will be worth it even if the journey is long and full of heartache. Hang in there…I hope you get a BFP very soon!!!

#4

I totally get what you mean. Ttc#2 is still difficult in its own way. My son will be 7 in August and had absolutely no problem conceiving him naturally and immediately. However we’ve been trying for almost 5 years now for our 2nd, never imagining it taking this long or require this much work. He wants a sibling so bad and it’s so hard to explain to him that we are not doing this to him on purpose.

#5

Your story sounds a lot like mine, and I agree that it has been very difficult!

I get sooooo annoyed when people make comments like “it will be easier the second time around” and “if you just stop trying, it will happen.” Then, like you, they share stories of people they know who got pregnant on vacation or during a break or whatever. That is NOT US. I don’t ovulate. Ever. I HAVE to use injectables. So that leaves me in a position of acting positive like “oh wow, thanks, that makes me feel so much better” or correcting them and telling them it will never happen for us. The Debbie Downer in me usually does the latter, just so they stop doing stupid stuff like that to other people.

I guess I just thought it would be easier the second time around. My body knows what to do, and the plan obviously works. And, I was able to get pregnant fairly easily the first time. Our first cycle was a BFN due to short luteal phase (period came 8dpo, so they started progesterone). Had the next cycle canceled for understim and the next for overstim, and then got pregnant with one good follie the next cycle. So it was basically our first good cycle, since we had the progesterone. This year I have done 5 injectable/TI cycles, and three of them have been pretty bad because they cut my meds back to decrease overstimming and then all the follicles die and my estrogen drops. I don’t know why the other 2 cycles didn’t work. But I keep getting cysts and having to wait. We’ve done 5 cycles in an entire calendar year, and NO, I’m not able to try in between. These are my only chances.

We are finally on to IVF and my retrieval was Friday. Hoping for better success this time around. But then I worry about finances, because I don’t want to bankrupt #1’s college fund for this. But, also, our family doesn’t seem complete.

And I agree with whomever posted about the difficulty of doing thsi with another little one at home. It’s hard to rest after retrieval, or find time for our PIO shots, or hide all my meds, or explain to a 2-year-old why mommy is always at the doctor. After a full year of this, I’m just tired and ready for it to work.

Thanks for letting me vent…sounds like we are both coming from the same place.

#6

Francesca, I hear you on the “giving up” stuff! I was at a doctor’s appointment with my wife on Wednesday - she’s been having significant pain in her achilles tendon - (and it was the NP we saw, not the dr), and I made her mention that her stress level was probably high because we’re TTC, even though I’m the one trying to carry. NP said “sometimes it happens best when you just give up.” I’m looking at her… hello, there’s no SPERM in this relationship, if we give up, there’s NO chance. Isn’t that obvious?

Seriously.

She qualified it "not stop trying, just assume it’ll take IVF and let go right now while you’re getting there (two more IUIS after this one, then IVF).

So annoying.